We’ve all done it. Limited ourselves by our words. Today I share insight in the video below on how word choice can cost you in influence.
I would love to hear what you think about this. Have you ever noticed where someone was destroying their own credibility? Please join the conversation and leave a comment. If this is helpful to you and you think it can help someone else, please consider sharing.
This week I was planning to make a video post and I set out Monday night to shoot it. When I was done it was 24 minutes long. Too long for a video blog post. It’s funny how there are times when you really have to mine your heart for things to say and then there are times when you strike a live wire and the content just gushes out of you. Monday night was like that one. Anyway, I am in the process of editing it down into 4 or 5 video posts, and because of the time that the editing process takes (when you barely know what you’re doing), we will NOT be posting that video this week. We’ll just wait & see how the editing goes.
One of the joys of my life is talking with my daughters. I absolutely love it when awesome conversations spontaneously break out and the next thing we know, an hour has gone by and we didn’t even miss it. In times like these we sometimes talk about friends & boyfriends, while other times we talk about things like integrity, honor, humility & honesty. Sometimes the conversation is about both, like people they know who have messed up lives because of the choices they’ve made. One time I was talking to my eldest daughter & we were having one of those conversations. I made a comment about what a particular friend should have done to avoid the fall-out from a bad decision. My daughter looked up at me and said “yeah, but they don’t have YOU for a dad”. Her implication was that if I were this person’s dad, they probably wouldn’t have made the poor choice. While it pleased me that my daughter said that, it also caused me to think.
My children have never had to face many of the struggles and suffering that I have faced, and that some of their friends are currently facing. I know that at least in part, it’s because they have parents who make them a priority and have made it a point to teach them Godly principles from an early age. As I looked back over my life as a son and as a father, I began to see that, as a boy, the thing that mattered most to me about my parents was that I wanted them to be there. As a father, one of my highest priorities is that I want to be there when my girls need me. I want to be there even if they don’t need me. I just like being around them. Even if it’s just to talk about the drama at their workplace or what’s going on with their friends. I need to be there for them. They need me to be there.
What will they need from me tomorrow? I don’t know. We’ll see what tomorrow brings and I’ll do my absolute best to help them navigate it. I told my daughter one time, “Don’t ever run from me. When all the dust settles and everyone else has left you high and dry, I will be the one behind you helping you dig out of this hole”. I can’t do that if I’m not there. Fathers, If you don’t live with your kids, I’m not trying to condemn you, but while your kids need you to support them financially, what they need more than that is for you to be a strong part of their life for good. So what’s the priority of Fatherhood? Be there. Even if you don’t live with them, be a big positive part of their life. Even when they’ve grown up, make sure they know that you’re still there and still on their side.
God the Father demonstrates His own commitment toward us as our Heavenly Father in Deuteronomy 4:31, 31:6 and in Hebrews 13:5 when He says “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”. That leaves us with a strong example of what fatherhood should look like, and it gives us a strong consolation that He will never leave us twisting in the wind. We will never be out of his reach! Wow! Thank you Father!
I challenge you to take it to the next level this week. Make special effort to be with your children and do something memorable. Intentionally teach them something that will help them down the road.
What are some things that you have done, or places you have gone, to have quality time with your kids? Please share by leaving a comment.
When I look back at my days as a young man, I realize that I didn’t know jack. The sad part was that I had wonderful people in my life who knew a lot. The problem was that I wasn’t teachable. I was a hard headed young man who was too concerned with showing people what I knew. Because of that, I had little concern with and didn’t see the value in truly being teachable.
Being teachable is really just a matter of being humble. Most people cringe at the sound of that word. Many equate being humble with being poor or being weak. The truth is that walking in true humility takes real strength and maturity. Traits that are rarely found in young men. I like the way Rev. Keith Moore defines it. He says “Humility is reality”. So I say, How many breaths can you really take credit for? How many heartbeats did you give yourself? The truth is that none of us are self made and if it were not for the grace and mercy of God, and the favor we have with others, many of us would not have made it this far. To know that is reality. To live with this understanding is humility. The humble person is pliable and teachable because they recognize and acknowledge the truth about themselves; that they don’t know everything.
The opposite is pride. Pride is having an unrealistic view of yourself. Pride is not reality. It’s being deceived that you are more than you really are. We all deal with it. Have you ever had someone do or say something and you just “stiffened”. I’ve heard it called several things, bowing your back, sticking your chest out, hardening your heart. It’s all the same. It’s all a lack of humility. It’s all a manifestation of pride. The Lord in referring to his people in the Old Testament sometimes referred to them as a stiff necked and hard hearted people. This condition blinds us into thinking that those around us don’t know as much as we do, they are not experts like we are and therefore we shouldn’t have to stoop to hear their input.
“If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be. ”
― Dale Carnegie
The owner of my company has repeatedly started and grown business after business into success and profitability. He said at a Christmas party a few years ago that his daughter asked him one day what he did. He had to think about it for a while but eventually defined himself as a Serial Entrepreneur. He was not bragging when he said that. I don’t get many chances to be around him but when I am, I don’t do all the talking. I listen. He knows stuff I don’t know but want to know. When I’m around people like him, it’s not the time to start talking about how much I know and try to impress, it’s time to shut up and learn, glean, get some understanding. When I was young, I did the opposite. I would chatter constantly in an effort to impress. I seriously doubt that anyone was impressed.
If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would tell myself this. Walk in humility & become teachable. Become a learner. Everything changed for me when I learned the importance of true humility. It did three notable things:
So what’s our next move?
This is a fight that we will all need to fight as long as we are on earth. No one “arrives” in the fight against pride. Lets take some time this week to really examine ourselves. Where do we stand with humility and being teachable? Do we think more highly of ourselves than we aught to think? (Rom 12:3). Ask God to show you where you’ve been missing it in this area. When He does, take steps to fix it. Remember, humbling yourself takes maturity and self control. Weak people don’t do it. The best way to deal with areas where you need to grow is to remind yourself of the price that Jesus paid for you and to realize that God wants to help you, but you have to humble yourself in order for His grace to flow.
“The school of hard knocks”. We’ve all heard that phrase. I’ve been hearing it most of my life. I might have even said it. Usually when we hear it, someone is referring to the lessons that they have learned by suffering through negative situations in their life. It often occurs when you ignor sound advice and life gives you a good spanking. I think I can safely say that we’ve all experienced THAT!
“The school of hard knocks” is a phrase coined by Elbert Hubbard. According to a verified statement on Wikipedia, He used the phrase 1st in an article he wrote about himself in 1902.
“So that is how I got my education, such as it is. I am a graduate of the University of Hard Knocks, and I’ve taken several postgraduate courses.” Elbert Hubbard.
I can not count the times in my own life, especially as a teen, you know, back when I knew everything, that I broke the rules, ignored sound advice, maybe even a law or two and ended up suffering for it. Maybe even bleeding a little in the process. I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but there was a time in my life that, even though I knew things were wrong, I wanted to test the water for myself. I wanted to see how far I could take it. This may happen with teenage boys more than anyone. As a dad, this is where I get a lot of my sage advice. I have real life experience as to why some things are stupid and shouldn’t be messed with. Unfortunately, we as parents don’t want to tell our kids WHY we know what we know. That would put the “But you did it!?!” argument in play.
Anyone who has been on planet Earth for any length of time at all has had life take a swing at them. Suffering doesn’t always mean you made a bad decision. Often we will be the victims of the fallout of someone else’s bad judgment. Difficulties come though, and we will all have to contend with tragedy, suffering, crazy people and the results of our own bad ideas. The important thing is that there will be a lesson in each one of them. The wise will learn the lesson and be better for it. When the same thing starts to happen in the future, the wise will see it coming and be able to navigate appropriately. The fool on the other hand will not see it coming because they didn’t learn the lesson. They will get kicked again and wonder why their life is so hard.
The entire 4th chapter of the book of Proverbs is about inclining your ear to wisdom. I encourage you to read it in many different translations. It will help you. The part that stands out the most to me begins is verse 20.
Pro 4:20 My son, give attention to my words; let your ear be turned to my sayings. 21 Let them not go from your eyes; keep them deep in your heart. 22 For they are life to him who gets them, and strength to all his flesh. 23 And keep watch over your heart with all care; so you will have life. 24 Put away from you an evil tongue, and let false lips be far from you. 25 Keep your eyes on what is in front of you, looking straight before you. 26 Keep a watch on your behaviour; let all your ways be rightly ordered. 27 Let there be no turning to the right or to the left, keep your feet from evil. (BBE version)
Recently I read a comment that nailed it concerning this. It was essentially this: A wise man learns from his mistakes. The wisest of men learn from the mistakes of others. When it comes to the school of hard knocks:
To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. – Plutarch
Sadly, the only real diploma from the University of Hard Knocks is a death certificate. If your faith is in Jesus Christ, then that will be a time of great joy. If it’s not, CLICK HERE. The little you’ve been faithful over will then be turned into much. Just remember, in the school of hard knock you can learn without taking the beatings for yourself. Apply your heart to wisdom and your life will be better and your suffering will be less.
What’s one lesson you learned from the school of Hard Knocks? The floor is yours. Please leave a comment and share your wisdom. If this is helpful to you, feel free to share.
