Tag Archives: Humble

This Is What I would Tell Myself If I Could Go Back In Time!

By | | , , , ,
Leave a comment

hand in handWhen I look back at my days as a young man, I realize that I didn’t know jack. The sad part was that I had wonderful people in my life who knew a lot. The problem was that I wasn’t teachable. I was a hard headed young man who was too concerned with showing people what I knew. Because of that, I had little concern with and didn’t see the value in truly being teachable.

Being teachable is really just a matter of being humble. Most people cringe at the sound of that word. Many equate being humble with being poor or being weak. The truth is that walking in true humility takes real strength and maturity. Traits that are rarely found in young men. I like the way Rev. Keith Moore defines it. He says “Humility is reality”. So I say, How many breaths can you really take credit for? How many heartbeats did you give yourself? The truth is that none of us are self made and if it were not for the grace and mercy of God, and the favor we have with others, many of us would not have made it this far. To know that is reality. To live with this understanding is humility. The humble person is pliable and teachable because they recognize and acknowledge the truth about themselves; that they don’t know everything.

 

The opposite is pride. Pride is having an unrealistic view of yourself. Pride is not reality. It’s being deceived that you are more than you really are. We all deal with it. Have you ever had someone do or say something and you just “stiffened”. I’ve heard it called several things, bowing your back, sticking your chest out, hardening your heart. It’s all the same. It’s all a lack of humility. It’s all a manifestation of pride. The Lord in referring to his people in the Old Testament sometimes referred to them as a stiff necked and hard hearted people. This condition blinds us into thinking that those around us don’t know as much as we do, they are not experts like we are and therefore we shouldn’t have to stoop to hear their input.

“If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be. ”
― Dale Carnegie

The owner of my company has repeatedly started and grown business after business into success and profitability. He said at a Christmas party a few years ago that his daughter asked him one day what he did. He had to think about it for a while but eventually defined himself as a Serial Entrepreneur. He was not bragging when he said that.  I don’t get many chances to be around him but when I am, I don’t do all the talking. I listen. He knows stuff I don’t know but want to know. When I’m around people like him, it’s not the time to start talking about how much I know and try to impress, it’s time to shut up and learn, glean, get some understanding. When I was young, I did the opposite. I would chatter constantly in an effort to impress. I seriously doubt that anyone was impressed.

If I could go back in time and give myself some advice, I would tell myself this. Walk in humility & become teachable. Become a learner. Everything changed for me when I learned the importance of true humility. It did three notable things:

  1. It opened up the flow of grace in my life. The Bible says in James 4:6 and in 1 Peter 5:5 that God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. Grace is the gifts, equipping and power of God for you that was bought by the Blood of Jesus. These grace gifts enable us to walk out the will of God for our lives. Humility opens up the flow of grace but when we walk in pride, it actually causes God to resist us. Who needs that?!
  2. I began to get wisdom. I began to listen to those who knew more than me. This goes back to a previous post. I began to see that I didn’t need to take the beating for myself in order to learn the lessons. I could learn from the suffering of others with out having to bleed for myself.
  3. Humility and honor are constant companions. They travel together. When you humble yourself, GOD lifts you up! (Mat 23:12) When you humble yourself, HE exalts you.  He will cause you to have favor with those around you.

So what’s our next move?

This is a fight that we will all need to fight as long as we are on earth. No one “arrives” in the fight against pride. Lets take some time this week to really examine ourselves. Where do we stand with humility and being teachable? Do we think more highly of ourselves than we aught to think? (Rom 12:3). Ask God to show you where you’ve been missing it in this area. When He does, take steps to fix it. Remember, humbling yourself takes maturity and self control. Weak people don’t do it. The best way to deal with areas where you need to grow is to remind yourself of the price that Jesus paid for you and to realize that God wants to help you, but you have to humble yourself in order for His grace to flow.

Dear young man, there’s more to you than your penis!

By | | , , , , , , ,
2 Comments

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Here are some phrases I keep hearing from young men in our modern culture. “Gonna hit that!”, “Gonna get wit that!”, or “Gonna nail it!”. While it’s not always men saying this stuff, it’s men that I’m thinking about when I’m writing this post. I’m a man and I believe I am qualified to speak to men in this area. The men who live like this have no honor. Notice how the phrases objectify the subject, usually a woman by reducing them to “That” or “It”. The kind of man that would use those phrases above would be a man who’s predominantly driven by conquest. He’s a predator. His goal is the score. He’s not looking beyond it. What he expects after his little victorious moment is for everything to go back to the way it was before the score. Go hang out with friends and maybe talk about the conquest. Get up. Live life. Nothing changed. Just a hit; just a score; just another notch. No real consequences, at least not for him. No honor. Of course the deception is that you can do the sin and not get the death. Death always rides with sin. As I was thinking on this I wrote down some characteristics of a guy like this. The dishonorable man.

  • His friends are probably not real friends. The friends that push you toward these things does not have your best interest at heart. Some may even try to shame you when your hunt is unsuccessful. These are not real friends. You can’t trust these guys to have your back in a time of trouble.
  • His life will be full of shallow relationships. He will not have many, if any, deep meaningful relationships because his priority will be the physical. He comes around usually for only one reason. He has a wandering eye and is always pursuing the next conquest.
  • He’s a man of no restraint. He may think he’s a tough guy but he’s not. Where it matters, he’s absolutely weak. Every time a temptation or an urge comes up, he caves under it’s weight. He doesn’t exercise any discipline over himself. He’s also prone to losing his temper. When it comes to his feelings and his urges, he just gives in.
  • He leaves blood & guts in his wake. Many, many, many times I’ve seen it where there are young mothers toughing it out on their own because some carnal boy in a man-suit doesn’t have the real honest strength to stand up and be a man. I’m not just talking about standing by your mistake. I’m talking about not making mistakes. Using wisdom. Not taking chances when you are not ready for the result. Let me just say that I believe with all of my heart that God’s grace is there for the single parent. I am convinced that the Holy Spirit is the difference maker and where He’s involved, a single parent family can come through lacking nothing. It’s just not the best way. It’s gonna be a rougher road.

By contrast, the man of honor looks a little different.

  • He is humble. According to Proverbs 22:4, Honor comes by humility and the fear of the Lord (KJV). An honorable man has an honest estimation of himself. He doesn’t think more highly of himself than he aught to think.
  • He follows after what is right. Provers 21:21 (KJV) He that follows righteousness and mercy finds life, righteousness and honor. A man of honor will do what’s right even if it costs him. A man of honor understands that there are things more important than money or being liked and accepted and he values justice and mercy.
  • He avoids strife. Proverbs 20:3 (BBE) It is an honor for a man to keep from fighting, but the foolish are ever at war. A man of honor isn’t out there trying to prove how tough he is.
  • He listens to instruction. Prov 13:18 (BBE) Need and shame will be the fate of him who is uncontrolled by training; but he who takes note of teaching will be honored. I can’t stress this enough. The problem with so many is that they can’t receive correction. It’s sad because many times you have to let them learn through “Hard Knocks University”. They have to take the beating for themselves. It’s foolish to think that we don’t need correction. If that were the case, we would be perfect. That is NOT the case though. When we know we’re not perfect, why do we resist instruction and correction?
  • He pursues wisdom. Prov 4:7-8 says to get wisdom with everything you have. Lift wisdom up and she will promote you. Embrace her and she will bring you honor. Wisdom, the skillful application of knowledge, should be a life-long pursuit. Wisdom sees down the road and makes adjustments for what is coming. A man of honor looks down the road to see the eventual end of his actions. This keeps him from getting girls pregnant. This keeps him out of jail. This keeps him from losing his job. A man of honor pursues wisdom. Wisdom for every area of his life. God has made wisdom available for you to know the next step. Wisdom to resist in areas where you keep falling. Wisdom to rebuild broken relationships. The wisdom is there and the man of honor will seek it out.

Are you in an affair with your problem…or are you in a covenant with your solution? Stir up the gift!  -(AJRK) From Coy Wade.

These are things that are close to my heart. I strive to be a man of honor everyday. It really is a better life. If you have been struggling with the stuff I’ve talked about here, there’s still hope. You can get there. The first thing is that you need a “Want to”. Nothing in your life changes until you are properly motivated to want it. Nothing. How do you make the change? Here are a few short steps to get you moving in the right direction.

  1. Ask for forgiveness. (Click here for more information).  Ask God and if there’s another person, ask them too.
  2. Humble yourself to ask for help. The bible says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6 & 1 Pet 5:5). Grace is the unearned power of God. He wants to give it to you. By humility you recognize that you need His help and then just ask. Jesus said “Ask, and you shall receive, that your joy may be full”.
  3. Trust Him. Believe that He’s on the case. Mark 11: 24.
  4. Let peace rule in your heart and be thankful that He’s helping you. Col 3:15.

If this post has helped you or you believe it could help someone else, please consider sharing. If you are reading this anywhere besides artmills.org, please head over there and leave a comment. I welcome your participation and discussion. While you’re there, check the place out. If you would like to receive the posts directly to your email, you can sign up for it there too. Have a blessed week.

Dad. Bug killer and so much more!

By | | , , , , , , ,
2 Comments

Let’s talk about Arthropods for a minute.  Hold on, it will make sense in a minute.  I know, this is the weekend.  Why the organism classification lesson?  I’ll explain but first, here’s the definition.

Arthropod  [ ˈärTHrəˌpäd ]  noun: arthropod · plural noun: arthropods.   An invertebrate animal of the large phylum Arthropoda, such as an insect, spider, or crustacean.     Powered by OxfordDictionaries · © Oxford University Press.

Arthropod comes from the Greek and it literally means “joint-footed”.  It’s a phylum classification right under Kingdom in the seven levels of organism classification.  Pretty interesting right?  Why do I bring this up?  Because this phylum falls under the area of my boot.  These are all of the things that as a dad, it’s my job to kill.  I am the last line, nay, sometimes the only line of defense against the vile creepy crawly things that make the girls in my house shriek and climb on furniture.  Have mercy! If I’m not home when a “Bug Event” happens, I get to hear all about it when I do get home; every detail right down to a vivid description of the sound of the crunch.  Things have only gotten worse since we’ve moved to a state where the spiders grow big.  It doesn’t help much that we live out of town a little and there are fields, livestock and green areas nearby.  We don’t leave the porch light on too long because it will summon so many bugs that you will undoubtedly let several in with you when you come in the house.   These are things that I don’t mind though.  I’m dad.  Most of the time, I love being the place where the buck stops and I certainly don’t have a problem with my conscience while murdering Arthropods.

Shoe

One time, several years ago, our Boxer, his name was Hobbs, ate a dryer sheet or something like that.  We didn’t know about it until he went out to do his big business.  What ever it was that he ate didn’t have enough substance for his body to handle efficiently.  We looked out the back door to see our dog running around the yard with several inches of something hanging out of his nether regions. It didn’t seem to be bothering him a bit.  He wanted to come inside.  I don’t think so buddy!  After all the “Ew! Gross!” it became apparent that this was another job for the last line of defense.  Dad.  The bottom line.  The place where the buck stopped!  My first thought was, “Which pair of pliers are the cheapest and most disposable? And where are they?”  Needless to say, we got it taken care of and everyone laughs about it today.

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

There are lots of icky, disgusting things that will happen in a family, with pets, children and maybe even both at the same time.  If dad is there, these things will very often be his job to deal with.  And while these are important, there are some far more important things that dad should be bringing to the table.

  1. Be an example of an honest man to your family.  I can’t stress this enough.  Your children need to know that you are telling them the truth.  They will not be able to trust you and have confidence in your word if you are in the habit of lying to them.  The reason we can trust our Heavenly Father is because His Word doesn’t break down.  He’s behind it making it come to pass.  Like God, we as fathers should be willing to do what ever it takes and to go to extraordinary lengths in order to make our word stand up.  A man and his word are inseparable.  Also, your children will model what you do more than what you say.  If you don’t want your children to be dishonest, you need to get dishonesty out of you.
  2. Be an example of integrity to your family.  The simplest definition of integrity is “Undivided” and “Whole”.  If a man has integrity, that means that he’s undivided.  He’s not moving in two directions.  He’s not a hypocrite.  He is not presenting himself one way but behind the scenes, he’s doing something else.  Integrity falls in close to honesty.  A father with integrity is an open book.
  3. Be an example of humility to your family.  I don’t think most people fully understand what humility is.  I think most people equate being humble with being weak.  This is not the truth.  True humility is being completely honest about yourself.  The bible cautions us not to think more highly of ourselves that we aught to think (Rom 12:3 KJV), but to think soberly (Greek – sophroneo = right mind).  Humility is to have a very real, undiluted understanding of who you really are, what you really can do, and what you are really responsible for.  The Bible doesn’t say that you can’t think highly of yourself, it says not to think more highly than you aught.  A man of humility will have an honest look at himself and discern what is “of himself” and what is “the grace of God”.  When we realize that our very next breath and heartbeat comes from God, we get perspective about how much of our life is only possible because of His grace & mercy.  This mindset is true humility.
  4. Be an example of submission and authority to your family.  Your family needs to see you submitting to a higher authority.  It may be how you relate and respond to your own parents, your pastor or your boss.  It helps your children have an understanding that things need to have an order, and just as you stand in submission in certain areas of your life, in others you stand in authority.  Your example in these areas will teach your children that both are necessary.  People who struggle in submitting to authority will be severely handicapped in life and work. They will be held back by their own stubbornness and arrogance.
  5. Be an example of a faithful man to your family.  Are you worthy to have others put faith in you?  A few years back I served in church with someone that would sometimes not show up.  I used to get a little frustrated because when I went to rely on them, it was a gamble as to whether they would be there or not.  They were unfaithful.  Unfaithfulness doesn’t mean that you’re not there; it means that you are not consistent and therefore can’t be fully trusted with the heavy lifting in a relationship; whether it be personal or professional.  What this person didn’t realize was that by being unfaithful, they undermined their own trustworthiness and reputation.  Even though I like them as people and enjoy fellowshipping with them, when the chips are down, I don’t call them.  Faithfulness to your family should mean that their hearts SAFELY trust in you.  Proverbs 25:19 says that confidence in an unfaithful man in a time of trouble is like a broken tooth or a foot out of joint.  In either case, you will suffer when you put pressure on them.

My dad wasn’t there to teach these things to me, but if my example shows you anything, it’s that if you trust God, you will not be deficient.  He will see to it that you get what you need.

What other things can you add to my list?  Join the conversation by leaving a comment.  Also, if this has helped you in any way and you think it might help someone else, please share it.  Also, consider signing up to my mailing list.  You can receive these posts by email and not miss one.

Get This Phrase Out of Your Mouth.

By | | , ,
Leave a comment

Waging War on One Little Phrase.

We need to wage war on one phrase. It’s a small phrase but it carries with it a profound capacity to increase sales. It can cause a proud heart to take comfort in its pride. It causes more people to feel dissatisfied with more things on planet earth than nearly any other phrase I can think of. It really is diabolical in its underhanded deceit. It is one of the things that we see in others that makes them difficult to tolerate and to be around. It has in recent years become a self help buzz-phrase and its popularity in advertising is obvious. What is this phrase? The phrase “YOU DESERVE IT”.

Salesman

…because YOU deserve it!

I don’t know how many times in the last few months that I’ve heard commercials say “Because you deserve it!” or “Get the [product name here] that you deserve!” I’m sure this is a very effective tactic in advertising because it stimulates dissatisfaction in a person’s current situation and implies that there is something better. You – you superior thing, you, YOU deserve it. You shouldn’t have to endure one more second with that piece of junk you have now! Leave that for the people who aren’t as high caliber as you. You move yourself up here where the DESERVING crowd hangs out.  I’ve also seen it often in “encouragement” graphics on social media.  This is a phrase I have noticed a lot “Sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve”.

The problem is that the vast majority of people believe that it’s true. Deep down they think “you know, I DO deserve it”, but do you? Do I? What makes us think that we deserve better? Where is this notion coming from?

The beginning of the problem. We all have heard the story of when Satan entered the Garden of Eden as a serpent and deceived Eve with the fruit. If we glaze over this story though, we miss some very important things that we need to understand about who we are and where we are.

  • What Satan said: Gen 3:4 (GWT) “You certainly won’t die!” the snake told the woman. 5 “God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened. You’ll be like God, knowing good and evil.”
  • We see here that Satan was casting doubt on two things.
    1. God’s truthfulness, indicating that God had lied to them about what would happen.
    2. That God was holding out on them. Satan implied that there was some awesome (reserved for the special ones) thing that God had, that they didn’t have, and that God had forbid them from eating the fruit because He was selfishly holding onto that part just for Himself.
      What was Satan really pointing to? You Deserve It!
  • Have you ever stopped to consider what Adam and Eve really gained in that transaction? What they gained was the knowledge of evil. They already had everything else. All they gained was “Less”. They literally lost the ability to be all they were created to be.

What it really boils down to is Pride and Vanity!

PRIDE

  1. feeling of superiority: a haughty attitude shown by somebody who believes, often unjustifiably, that he or she is better than others. -Bing Dictionary.
  2. A feeling that you are more important or better than other people. -Merriam Webster Dictionary

VANITY

  1. the quality of people who have too much pride in their own appearance, abilities, achievements, etc. : the quality of being vain. -Bing Dictionary.
  2. something (such as a belief or a way of behaving) which shows that you have too much pride in yourself, your social status, etc. -Bing Dictionary.

When you think about it, it really comes down to thinking that we, by our awesomeness, good works, talent, handsomeness, beauty and brilliant personality, have earned the right to have something we don’t currently have. Pride comes from thinking that YOU are “All That” and the subtle deception is that YOU by your amazing ability caused yourself to be worthy. Let me help you with that…Not True!

The truth is that God, by His mercy and grace gives you your next heartbeat and breath. He has put gifts & grace into you, sometimes even before you were born, so that you can accomplish all that He has planned for you, and live the life you were born to live. Do not be deceived that any of your awesomeness (and you do have awesomeness) comes from you.  More truth is that we are fallen under sin.

Rom 6:23 (KJV) For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The word Wages in Romans 6:23 is the Greek word opsōnion (op-so’-nee-on) – which means rations for a soldier, that is, (by extension) his stipend or pay: – wages. This is what is earned, wages. This is actually what we have earned and deserve. The rest of the verse goes on to say that God’s eternal life through Christ Jesus is a gift. The word Gift is the Greek word charisma. char’-is-mah. which means a (divine) gratuity. It comes from the word charizomai. (khar-id’-zom-ahee) which means to grant as a favor, that is, gratuitously, in kindness, pardon or rescue: – deliver, (frankly) forgive, (freely) give, grant. (All Greek word definitions from Strong’s).

When we think about it, what we really deserve, what we have really earned, is to be set on fire for all eternity. You may think that’s a little harsh, but let me ask you a question? How many laws do you have to break to be a law breaker? How many lies do you have to tell to be a liar? We have all missed the mark. God’s word to Eve is still true today, disobedience brings death. You can not reach to where you need to be on your own. You do not have what it takes. But thank God that He sent Jesus to do what we could not do and through His sacrifice, you CAN get there. He has opened the way. That’s why we submit ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus. When we do that, God accounts Jesus’ righteousness to us. We can stand before God as if we had never done anything wrong, ever!

When we understand that we have what we have by the free gift of God, and that we have no place to brag on ourselves, we are humbled. This attitude is the opposite of pride. A person of humility understands that the good that they have received, they did not earn and they have no bragging rights about it.

Phil 2:5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. 9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:

Jesus is our example, He humbled himself.  We should do that too.

Jas_4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

When we stand in pride, it actually blocks & stops the flow of grace into our lives. God resists the proud. Who can afford to have God Himself resisting them? The rest of the promise is that the grace of God flows to the humble. Who can afford NOT to have that!  No one is self-made.  When we realize what we have and how it comes, we can walk in true humility.  Grace flows to those who do.

The earmark of humility is a grateful heart.  I encourage you to maintain the flow of grace in your own life.  Take a minute and just thank God for all the wonderful things He has done in you, your family & your life. He really does deserve it!

Have you found the “I deserve it” attitude showing up in your life? What steps did you take to deal with it?  Please join the conversation by leaving your comments.