Look at me!
Here I am, standing alone in the dark.
How did I get here?
What went wrong?
My whole life…Poof!
When we met I was young. We dated…fell in love. We had a real commitment. We were both in it for the long haul. We didn’t see eye to eye on everything but that’s okay. We weren’t perfect but who is? The important thing was that we loved each other. At times over the last few years that love and our marriage were tested. Every marriage is. Some days we didn’t like each other at all – but we knew that if we didn’t give up, we’d make it through. So, why am I now standing here alone? Past my prime, no longer as pretty as I once was. Who’s going to want me now? How did it come to this?
I have been praying for someone for some time but don’t know much in the way of details. All I know was that they have been on my heart a lot. They’ve recently been divorced. While thinking about them one day, I saw this scene in my mind.
They were standing there in the dark. The landscape was totally undefined – just dark. When they looked behind them, they could see their footprints leading up to where they stood. The path was visible where they had walked. The path lead up to their feet, but that’s where it stopped. Behind them were plans, purposes, intentions and all the things they were working toward.
They couldn’t see any path in front of them. They couldn’t see anything. It was like there was nothing there. There was no vision for the future. The only thing that could be perceived in front of them was a faint line of the horizon much like it would look at the very last light of sunset. The horizon appeared to be completely flat. No hills, no mountains, no trees, just a flat, empty horizon.
I began to think of how long they had been married. I couldn’t help but put myself in their shoes. Maybe you’ve been in their shoes too. Decades of hard work with the confidence that it would last. All the compromises about money. All the times when you gave up your way and in some cases, your right. All to make it work. To make it last. But it didn’t.
Being alone was thrust on them and now they stand there staring at an empty horizon. What will the future hold?
As I think about this now, Jeremiah 29:11 comes to mind. I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope (God’s Word Translation).
The truth is that God is not done with them. He’s not done with me or you. If we are still drawing breath, there’s still hope. His message to us is clear. God loves us and He doesn’t want us to suffer this kind of torment. He calls it treacherous (Mal 2:14}. The suffering that comes from betrayal does not come from Him. It’s not His will and it’s not His fault.
He also says in Jeremiah that He loves us with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). He really does love you and wants to help you. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24 that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. He is that friend.
As I share this, I am confronted with a very stout truth. I’m not qualified to talk about this. Not really. While my parents divorced when I was a boy, I have not personally been divorced, and while the Lord helps me see certain things, I have never known the pain that comes from this kind of betrayal. I don’t have credibility in this area.
So I look to you my dear readers. Many of you have faced this and lived to tell. There are those who will read this that have made it through. By the grace and mercy of God, you’ve gotten up off the floor day after day and moved forward.
YOU have the qualified voice. You know things I don’t know. You can give insight that I can’t. If you will, you can draw from your experience to help those who are suffering now.
I ask you for your help. What am I not seeing? How would you help this person? How would you advise me and others who want to help?
Please help us by sharing in the comments. I look forward to your advice and guidance.
I love you guys.
Your buddy,
Art
