Getting Hurt & Getting Over it.

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silhouette-female2-e1311003704858We all experience difficult times when dealing with people.  None of us are exempt from getting our feelings hurt.  In some cases the injury can be severe and we wonder how someone could be so inconsiderate.  There are those who it seems care little for the well being of others and knowingly and heartlessly hurt others without remorse.  Sometimes we have to deal with the light sting of getting the cold shoulder by acquaintances, while other times we suffer through deep treachery that comes from the terrible betrayal of loved ones that are close to us.  As I have been thinking about these things, I have come to understand that while none of us are exempt from this, most of us don’t really have an effective and consistent way of handling it when we’re hurt.

There are two questions we need to ask when we’ve been hurt.

  1. Is it my fault?  Was I acting stupidly?  Did I fire off my mouth when I should have been quiet?  Very often we know we shouldn’t say things but our pride gets us wound up and we “just gotta have our say”.  This has gotten more people in more trouble faster than probably any other thing.  I’ve done this more than once and I’m pretty sure you have too.  We knew we should have kept quiet but it started jumping around on the inside of us and rather than exercising self discipline, we yielded to our pride, had our say and ended up needing to be corrected or punished.  Maybe you didn’t control yourself with your spending and now you’re suffering having to cut back severely in order to pay your bills and get out of substantial debt.  These things are foolish and we should expect the suffering we face because of them. A really good example of suffering for your faults is found in King David.  Beginning in II Sam 11:1 we see that when David should have been with his army fighting the enemy, he instead stayed home.  One evening while relaxing on the roof of his house, he saw Bathsheba bathing on the roof of her house.  To shorten the story a little, David wanted her badly and ended up having her husband killed by having him put on the front line fighting and then ordering everyone else to withdraw and leave him standing alone.  The Lord told David through the prophet Nathan “YOU have killed him with the sword of the children of Ammon”.  We have record in the scripture that because of what happened that day, 4 people died and one suffered mentally and never recovered.  Uriah the Hittite died, 3 of David’s children died (the baby, Amnon, and Absalom) and David’s daughter Tamar was never the same.  All because of what started on the roof top.This makes me stop and think.  Sin always brings death.  It may not be instant and severe but our actions really do affect our future.  This is the reason God is against sin.
  2. Was it unjust?  What if you didn’t do anything wrong?  We all face situations where we have done our best, we have been kind, we have walked in love toward individuals and it just didn’t seem to go anywhere. In spite of all our efforts, we still got sideways with them. Joseph is one of the best examples of this.  He was sold into slavery by his brothers. He was then put into prison in Egypt.  Historians believe that Joseph was 17 when he was sold to the Midianites and scripture tells us that he was 30 when he stood before Pharaoh.  We understand then that Joseph suffered unjustly for approximately 13 years.  He never did anything wrong and he still suffered.  You can do all the right things and keep your heart right in every situation and still get your feelings hurt and suffer unjustly.  Don’t be surprised when this happens.

Each of these will need to be handled in its own way.  You can’t deal with one the same way that you would deal with the other.  If you are suffering because of your own faults but are trying to deal with it as if you haven’t done anything wrong, you are out of line.  I know people like this.  Nothing is their fault and they are perpetually victims.  This attitude is not going to help them.  It will keep them stuck and unable to move forward.  If you or I have been a fool and have gotten into trouble, the only real course to move forward is to humble ourselves and take responsibility for the suffering that we are experiencing.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.
– Calvin Coolidge

If you are hurt because you acted foolishly, here is what you can do to move forward.

  1. Say I’m sorry.  Own the problem and ask forgiveness for acting like a fool.  This is humbling yourself.  People will be far more merciful to the humble than to the proud.  When you humble yourself, it brings out the mercy in others most of the time.
  2. Own the consequences.  Don’t try to deflect or blame others.  Own it.  Sometimes the quickest way to get a bad situation behind you is to go through it and not around it.  If you have honor and integrity, you will stand behind your actions and accept the consequences.
  3. Ask God for help.  I remember hearing a man tell of the time when he made a foolish purchase and went into severe debt. He prayed and asked the Lord to help him.  He repented for being foolish and asked the Lord to help him preserve his word and integrity by helping him fulfill his obligation, and to get out from under the debt in a honorable way.  God did just that.  It took him tightening up his financial belt – a lot. It also didn’t happen over night, but God did help him and today he’s no longer in debt.

If you are hurt but you didn’t do anything wrong, here is what you can do to move forward.

  1. Forgive.  If you are experiencing unjust suffering, you must forgive.  I remember a time when some dearly beloved elders that I have served with were mistreated for something that they were not doing wrong.  It was hard to see people as committed and sincere as they were being dishonored and mishandled the way they were.  One man stepped down from serving because of it.  When I asked one of them how they were doing concerning it, their response was simply amazing.  They said, “We forgive them.  We don’t really have a choice about it”.  This is a mature Christian.  The bible says forgive. End of story.
  2. Endure.  In II Tim 2:3, Paul is admonishing Timothy.  He says, “Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ”.   Paul instructed Timothy to endure it because the temptation was going to be to collapse under it.  Paul was reminding Timothy to think like a soldier when it came to the hardship and hurt that he would face. Endure it, shake it off, keep moving forward.  Don’t let hurt stop you from pressing forward and completing the objective.
  3. Don’t be moved.  Don’t stop doing what’s right.  When you are on the right path, persecution will arise.  This is not an “If” but a “When” situation.  Persecutions will come.
    1Th 3:2 And sent Timotheus, our brother, and minister of God, and our fellow laborer in the gospel of Christ, to establish you, and to comfort you concerning your faith: That no man should be moved by these afflictions: for yourselves know that we are appointed thereunto. For verily, when we were with you, we told you before that we should suffer tribulation; even as it came to pass, and ye know.There are a couple of things to point out here.
    First, the temptation is to deviate from the right path.  So Timothy was to ESTABLISH the Thessalonians.
    Second, Timothy was also sent to COMFORT them.  The word comfort here can be interchanged with the word strengthen.  It was often used in 1611 (when the King James Bible was translated) to mean adequate or “up to the task”.  Timothy was sent to establish them, strengthen them, and make them “up to the task”.

You see, we are here, as far as I can tell,
to help each other; our brothers, our sisters,
our friends, our enemies.
That is to help each other and not hurt each other.
– Stevie Ray Vaughan

I think the key to all of this is to walk with a humble heart.  Many times we get hurt because we think we deserve something that we’re not getting.  A good policy to adopt concerning dealing with people is to expect nothing and be grateful for everything.  I have had the Lord check my heart to hold off on responding for 1 week to someone who was being harsh & rude.  When I got to the end of the week, I didn’t even want to bother with responding.  It was just no longer worth it.  Many times when we respond immediately to mistreatment, we also respond wrong.  Stop, wait, cool down & choose your response wisely.

Jas 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Paul admonished Timothy to endure hardness as a good soldier  (II Tim 2:3).  This is there for us to follow too.  We should adopt this same soldier mentality as we walk out God’s plan for our life.  As for me…I’m in.  I will endure hardness, shake it off and keep moving forward.  What about you?

Join the conversation and leave your comments below.

 

 

 

 

Want to Reach Your Full Potential? This is a Must.

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A few years back, I saw a made for television movie about settlers moving west. I don’t remember what it was called but I remember one scene in particular when a family came to the Mississippi river. It was during winter and the river was frozen over. They were going to have to cross the river in their wagon. Though the river was frozen over, there was always the possibility that the wagon would break through the ice . They needed to make sure they were as light as possible. As they stopped on the bank of the river, all along the bank were fine pieces of furniture, cabinetry and even an organ. Treasures left behind by travelers who had passed before. Family heirlooms that were so precious that they couldn’t be left behind and it no doubt broke the hearts of the people who had to just leave them there sitting in the open air on the bank of the river. Why were they there? Because they suddenly became a direct threat to the success of the journey. Hanging on to them would have meant possibly breaking through the ice, losing the wagon, the rest of the belongings and maybe even the lives of the family. These things that were once considered so valuable were now considered heavy weight and were hindering the progress. Keeping these things would have caused the travelers to fall short of the goal. They would not have made it if they didn’t dump the unnecessary weight. 

IMAG0435I remember a time several years ago when I had an experience that I will never forget. It was early one morning and I was right at that point where my eyes were not open yet but I was sort of awake. You know, that point where you are sort of teetering on the edge of sleep, when all of the sudden this thought floated up into my mind like a voice from the inside of me. ”The time is coming when this will no longer be tolerated”. First, I knew immediately what it was pertaining to, and second, I was instantly fully awake. So many times this is how God leads his people. Not by an audible voice but by a “knowing” or a conviction.

I understood what it was about. There were some things in my life that the Lord had been dealing with me about and I was over-riding my conscience about them. I was ignoring His correction. He was warning me that if I wanted to reach my full potential, I was going to have to lay them down and not pick them up again.

I began to see that many of the ministers that I have heard of that have fallen, failed and brought reproach against themselves and the ministry were in this same situation but would not listen. They would not receive correction and wound up ship wrecked with damaged credibility and diminishing influence. In some cased dying sooner than they should have. Some fell over money. Some over sexual immorality. Some over mishandling the ministry that the Lord put them over and in each case they would not judge themselves, they would not submit to correction. In some cases we have record of other ministers going to them and warning them but they would not listen. I realized that if I continued to resist instruction and over-ride correction, I was very likely to stall. 

I began to understand the importance of correction. First we need to understand that God loves us, and who He loves He corrects. Heb 12:5 (God’s Word Translation) says “You have forgotten the encouraging words that God speaks to you as his children: “My child, pay attention when the Lord disciplines you. Don’t give up when he corrects you. 6 The Lord disciplines everyone he loves. He severely disciplines everyone he accepts as his child.” 7 Endure your discipline. God corrects you as a father corrects his children. All children are disciplined by their fathers. 8 If you aren’t disciplined like the other children, you aren’t part of the family.” 

How should we think about correction? Correction is not a bad thing. God corrects us because he loves us. Realize that when He begins to convict your heart about anything at all, it’s the creator of the Universe taking a specific interest in your life and giving you instruction to help you grow up to a greater level of maturity. Correction from God should not to be feared or despised. The tiny details of your life matter to Him.

  1. We should pay attention to it. The King James says it this way “Despise not the chastening of the Lord”. We find in the Bible that to despise means to value lightly, to lightly esteem (1 Sam 2:30). When we are corrected, we need to value it & take it seriously. This is honor. The reason we are warned to pay attention is because the temptation will arise to ignore it.
  2. Don’t give up. The whole purpose for the correction is to help you move forward. Consider what would have happened to the settlers moving west if they had gotten all the way to the Mississippi and then just refused to part with the heavy stuff. Imagine thirty years later, there they are, stuck. The dream of a new life in the west fading into distant memory. In some cases, not accomplishing the life that they were born to live, all because they wouldn’t let go of the things that were weighing them down and holding them back.
  3. Understand why you’re getting it. You’re getting it because God really does love you. He wants the best for you and wants you to stay on track and stay out of the ditch.
  4. Understand how God thinks of you. If you’ve received Jesus as your Lord, He thinks of you as His child. As His child, He has the right as your father to instruct, guide and correct you. There’s no one wiser that He is. When you look to His word and it hits you right where you live, don’t ignore it. It really is for your good.
  5. Correction may come to you through an elder. You must have the humility to receive it. They may not say it in soft tones but if you’re going to grow, you can’t let hurt feelings keep you from seeing the truth of it. When you can receive it and use it and not let your feelings or pride get in the way, that shows real maturity.

God is faithful. I trust Him to help me. I’ve prayed and asked the Lord to show me where I’m being held back. I want to know. I don’t want to be deceived into thinking I’m okay in an area where I’m not. I know that in my own past I have been entirely too light on myself when it comes to what I allow. The truth is, corrections are always necessary in order to get where you want to go. Life will try to blow you off course all the time. The only way to reach any goal is to correct. If you don’t correct, you will end up somewhere but it will not be anywhere you want to be.

You be faithful too. I remember a long time ago when I quit smoking. I blew it after several days of success and I was so disappointed in myself. I remember praying and saying “Lord, I’m sorry. I don’t want to do this anymore.” Just like the morning I woke up to that thought, He caused me to realize this “The quicker you become faithful, the quicker the fruit of faithfulness will show up in your life”. The faster you respond and the more serious you take the instruction, the faster the results show up.

Correction usually means course change and that sometimes involves repentance. Hebrews 12:1 says “Since we are surrounded by so many examples of faith, we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that distracts us. We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up.”

fist-1What should we do? I’ve decided to get “Bare Knuckles” with myself concerning these things. I want to get brutally honest with myself. I don’t want anything to hold me back from hitting the mark and reaching my full potential. So here’s my challenge to you. Will you go with me? Will you take the Bare Knuckles challenge? Let’s take this walk of faith together.

What steps can you and I take this week? Let’s mix it up! I want to hear from you. Maybe we can give a few minutes each evening to reflect on the day and where we may have missed it, then make a plan for the next day so that we don’t.  Please leave your comments below and that way we can help each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get This Phrase Out of Your Mouth.

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Waging War on One Little Phrase.

We need to wage war on one phrase. It’s a small phrase but it carries with it a profound capacity to increase sales. It can cause a proud heart to take comfort in its pride. It causes more people to feel dissatisfied with more things on planet earth than nearly any other phrase I can think of. It really is diabolical in its underhanded deceit. It is one of the things that we see in others that makes them difficult to tolerate and to be around. It has in recent years become a self help buzz-phrase and its popularity in advertising is obvious. What is this phrase? The phrase “YOU DESERVE IT”.

Salesman

…because YOU deserve it!

I don’t know how many times in the last few months that I’ve heard commercials say “Because you deserve it!” or “Get the [product name here] that you deserve!” I’m sure this is a very effective tactic in advertising because it stimulates dissatisfaction in a person’s current situation and implies that there is something better. You – you superior thing, you, YOU deserve it. You shouldn’t have to endure one more second with that piece of junk you have now! Leave that for the people who aren’t as high caliber as you. You move yourself up here where the DESERVING crowd hangs out.  I’ve also seen it often in “encouragement” graphics on social media.  This is a phrase I have noticed a lot “Sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve”.

The problem is that the vast majority of people believe that it’s true. Deep down they think “you know, I DO deserve it”, but do you? Do I? What makes us think that we deserve better? Where is this notion coming from?

The beginning of the problem. We all have heard the story of when Satan entered the Garden of Eden as a serpent and deceived Eve with the fruit. If we glaze over this story though, we miss some very important things that we need to understand about who we are and where we are.

  • What Satan said: Gen 3:4 (GWT) “You certainly won’t die!” the snake told the woman. 5 “God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened. You’ll be like God, knowing good and evil.”
  • We see here that Satan was casting doubt on two things.
    1. God’s truthfulness, indicating that God had lied to them about what would happen.
    2. That God was holding out on them. Satan implied that there was some awesome (reserved for the special ones) thing that God had, that they didn’t have, and that God had forbid them from eating the fruit because He was selfishly holding onto that part just for Himself.
      What was Satan really pointing to? You Deserve It!
  • Have you ever stopped to consider what Adam and Eve really gained in that transaction? What they gained was the knowledge of evil. They already had everything else. All they gained was “Less”. They literally lost the ability to be all they were created to be.

What it really boils down to is Pride and Vanity!

PRIDE

  1. feeling of superiority: a haughty attitude shown by somebody who believes, often unjustifiably, that he or she is better than others. -Bing Dictionary.
  2. A feeling that you are more important or better than other people. -Merriam Webster Dictionary

VANITY

  1. the quality of people who have too much pride in their own appearance, abilities, achievements, etc. : the quality of being vain. -Bing Dictionary.
  2. something (such as a belief or a way of behaving) which shows that you have too much pride in yourself, your social status, etc. -Bing Dictionary.

When you think about it, it really comes down to thinking that we, by our awesomeness, good works, talent, handsomeness, beauty and brilliant personality, have earned the right to have something we don’t currently have. Pride comes from thinking that YOU are “All That” and the subtle deception is that YOU by your amazing ability caused yourself to be worthy. Let me help you with that…Not True!

The truth is that God, by His mercy and grace gives you your next heartbeat and breath. He has put gifts & grace into you, sometimes even before you were born, so that you can accomplish all that He has planned for you, and live the life you were born to live. Do not be deceived that any of your awesomeness (and you do have awesomeness) comes from you.  More truth is that we are fallen under sin.

Rom 6:23 (KJV) For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The word Wages in Romans 6:23 is the Greek word opsōnion (op-so’-nee-on) – which means rations for a soldier, that is, (by extension) his stipend or pay: – wages. This is what is earned, wages. This is actually what we have earned and deserve. The rest of the verse goes on to say that God’s eternal life through Christ Jesus is a gift. The word Gift is the Greek word charisma. char’-is-mah. which means a (divine) gratuity. It comes from the word charizomai. (khar-id’-zom-ahee) which means to grant as a favor, that is, gratuitously, in kindness, pardon or rescue: – deliver, (frankly) forgive, (freely) give, grant. (All Greek word definitions from Strong’s).

When we think about it, what we really deserve, what we have really earned, is to be set on fire for all eternity. You may think that’s a little harsh, but let me ask you a question? How many laws do you have to break to be a law breaker? How many lies do you have to tell to be a liar? We have all missed the mark. God’s word to Eve is still true today, disobedience brings death. You can not reach to where you need to be on your own. You do not have what it takes. But thank God that He sent Jesus to do what we could not do and through His sacrifice, you CAN get there. He has opened the way. That’s why we submit ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus. When we do that, God accounts Jesus’ righteousness to us. We can stand before God as if we had never done anything wrong, ever!

When we understand that we have what we have by the free gift of God, and that we have no place to brag on ourselves, we are humbled. This attitude is the opposite of pride. A person of humility understands that the good that they have received, they did not earn and they have no bragging rights about it.

Phil 2:5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. 9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:

Jesus is our example, He humbled himself.  We should do that too.

Jas_4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

When we stand in pride, it actually blocks & stops the flow of grace into our lives. God resists the proud. Who can afford to have God Himself resisting them? The rest of the promise is that the grace of God flows to the humble. Who can afford NOT to have that!  No one is self-made.  When we realize what we have and how it comes, we can walk in true humility.  Grace flows to those who do.

The earmark of humility is a grateful heart.  I encourage you to maintain the flow of grace in your own life.  Take a minute and just thank God for all the wonderful things He has done in you, your family & your life. He really does deserve it!

Have you found the “I deserve it” attitude showing up in your life? What steps did you take to deal with it?  Please join the conversation by leaving your comments.

 

 

 

 

What’s So Great About America?

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In recent days we have been given a front row seat to see our Federal Government in action.  We have been witness to the Judicial branch settling differences between the Legislative branch and the Executive branch.  To me this has been exciting to watch, not only because of the decisions that have been made but also just to see how our system of government checks itself, and to see that it works!  I am deeply moved when I think about the men who established our country and set in order what I personally believe to be one of the finest governments to have ever existed on earth.  While I think these men were some of the brightest, most intelligent people of the day, I also firmly believe that what was done 238 years ago to cause this country to be born was Divinely inspired.

constitution_quill_pen[1]

In the booklet “The Rebirth of America” published by the Arthur S. DeMoss foundation, the writers talk about the greatness of America’s land.

“Some say the land itself has made America great.  One of our most moving patriotic hymns cites the beauty of America – a beauty that all who have traveled across the continent surely recognize.  Katherine Lee Bates stood atop Pike’s Peak and scanned the sweep of the land, then wrote of the “Purple Mountain Majesties”, and the “amber waves of grain.” She concluded that God had shed His grace on this land – a vast unexplored wilderness that, in an astonishingly short period, grew into a great nation.  It would be foolish to deny that the rich natural resources of the land itself have not helped to make America. The oil, the ore, the timber, the water, the soil, the climate, all have combined to nourish a civilization that would eventually spread from sea to shining sea.  Other nations too, though, have been blessed with fine resources; yet some how these have not risen to such greatness.”

So what is it that has made America great?  What is it that stands behind freedoms so great that they are the envy of the world?  Why has America been blessed with such abundance when so much of the world goes to bed hungry each night?  Here are a few things that I believe have made America great.

  • The Foundation of Our Law.  Our founders firmly believed in the Creator and believed that He had endowed them with inalienable rights.  They also believed that man was “fallen” and therefore could not be trusted to be his own law or judge.  They therefore used the Divinely inspired Holy Scripture as the foundation for the law of the land. The law can not be simply what a judge or dictator says it is, It must comply with the Constitution which was based on God’s laws in scripture.  Calvin Coolidge – “The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country”.  I think it’s important to point out that a country can’t have morality without religion and even though something is legal doesn’t mean that it’s moral.  Our government is designed to give liberty, but with a moral fence.
  • The Generosity of the American People.  America has been and continues to be very generous.  Whether it has been to help rebuild countries that have been ravaged by war, or help with relief for countries that have been ravaged by natural disasters, the generous spirit of the American people can be seen.  America is blessed because many Americans continue to sow good seeds, be generous, and help the less fortunate.
  • The American Dream.  America has been called the “land of Opportunity” and rightly so. The dream that a person can excel and become something in this country has been the driving force behind the immigration to our country for as long as it’s been in existence.  The Free Enterprise system has ensured that everyone has a fighting chance to be successful if they will only take the opportunities.  The ingenuity of the American people over the last 200 years has given the world well build, low cost goods, provided good jobs to millions and has given Americans the income to buy the goods they produce.
  • The Hand of God.  All of our blessings really point back to this.  In his writing “The Bulletproof George Washington” David Barton wrote: “Washington’s part in the battle of the Monongahela is indisputably one of the most significant events of his early life–his life literally hung in the balance for over two hours. Fifteen years after the battle, the chieftain of the Indians Washington had fought sought him out and gave this account to Washington of what had happened during the battle:

    “I am chief and ruler over my tribes. My influence extends to the waters of the great lakes and to the far blue mountains. I have traveled a long and weary path that I might see the young warrior of the great battle. It was on the day when the white man’s blood mixed with the streams of our forest that I first beheld this chief [Washington]…I called to my young men and said…Quick, let your aim be certain, and he dies. Our rifles were leveled, rifles which, but for you, knew not how to miss–’twas all in vain, a power mightier far than we, shielded you…I am come to pay homage to the man who is the particular favorite of Heaven, and who can never die in battle.”

    We read accounts of the British destroying the Capital during the summer of 1814.  It really looks like just 38 years after America declared independence from Britain, we’re going to lose our place and be put back in subjection to the Crown.  The British captured and set on fire the public buildings in Washington.  Then the storm blew in.  Weather experts indicate that this storm probably spawned several tornados.  One hit Washington, destroying buildings that the British soldiers were hiding in.  Some accounts indicate that canons were lifted & hurled through the air.  On his blog “Historical Digression” Patrick Browne writes:

As the storm began to subside, one of the British officers in command of the invasion emerged from his shelter and said to one of the inhabitants of Washington, “Great God, Madam, is this the kind of storm to which you are accustomed in this infernal country?!”

She responded, “No, sir, this is a special interposition of Providence to drive our enemies from the city.”

I don’t know about Providence. But there can be no doubt that the tornado that struck Washington that day did more to save the capital than the United States Army ever did. The fires were largely extinguished. And the British limped back to their ships.

As you celebrate this Independence day, take a moment to stop and thank God for your country.  Thank Him for His continued hand of protection and His continual guidance as we move forward as a Nation.  We are here by His will and by His help.  God Bless America.

What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a price upon its goods, and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as freedom should not be highly rated.  – Thomas Payne, 1776.


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Sources:
The Rebirth of America – Published by The Arthur S. DeMoss Foundation
http://historicaldigression.com/2012/03/26/a-tornado-saves-washington-during-the-war-of-1812/
http://www.reversespins.com/bulletproof.html

 

 

 

 

 

Seven quick steps to getting back on track.

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Ever wake up right in the middle of your life? You scream “How did I get here? I don’t want to be here!” and with horror you realize that you have been drifting. You have not been actively tending to your course and so instead of you determining your direction and driving your life, your circumstances have been driving you! Driving you down roads you don’t want to go to places you don’t want to be with people you can’t trust. You wake up and realize how far off course you are and you become embarrassed and ashamed. “I used to be stronger that this” you might say. You have forgotten who you are.

Mufasa’s Ghost: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of life.

I remember several years ago I found myself in this exact spot. Over the course of several years I had been given many wonderful opportunities to minister in our church. Usually on the last Sunday night of each month I would teach. It was such a blessing and real training time for me. Our pastors’ name was Mark Jacobsen. He believed in the perfecting the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ – Eph 4:12. He was always working with people & grooming them in the areas of their gifts. There was a period of time though, where I stepped back from the ministry opportunities because I was busy at work. I didn’t have much time to prepare. Over a period of months I also stopped praying as much and didn’t study as much. I began to lose ground spiritually and morally. I began to get loose with my personal standards and in some of the things I was allowing in my life. I remember the day Pastor Mark approached me and asked me to teach. I said “I’m not really in the place I should be to teach”. He looked me right in the eye and said “YOU decide whether or not YOU will be a vessel of honor”. Those words have stayed with me all these years. They have served me well and still guide me when things in my life get unstable and the temptation to compromise shows up.

Fresh Start

What did I do? I straightened up and got back to business. I decided to be a vessel of honor. It’s a decision that only you can make. It’s also a decision that you will have to make over and over again as you walk out your life. I can say with full assurance that it is the only way I want to be. I don’t want to be a mud pot. I want to be a gold pot.

Pastor Mark used to tell a story of a severe flood and a man who had a small row boat. While rowing he came upon another man who was treading water, totally exhausted and about ready to give up. The man in the water cried out “Help me” and the man in the boat replied “dry yourself off and you can climb in my boat”. The man in the water said “Please, just let me in your boat” to which the man in the boat replied again “Sure, as soon as you dry yourself off you can climb right up in here”. Pastor Mark would say “Some people think that you have to clean yourself up and spruce up your behavior before you can come to God, but the truth is you can’t do that on your own. Get a man out of the water and into the warm sunshine and guess what happens? He dries off.”

Don’t let where you are keep you from turning around. You are not too far gone. You are not out of God’s reach.

Steps to recovery.

  1. Remember God is with you. Heb 13:5b says for He has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. You may have stepped away from Him but He didn’t step away from you.
  2. Remember that He loves you and He’s the one who’s helping you to wake up. Jer 31:3 says The Lord has appeared of old to me saying, Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, with lovingkindness I have drawn you.
  3. Remember the Prodigal Son? He asked his daddy for his inheritance early and then left and began to blow it on what the bible calls riotous living. He was out partying and living it up but eventually ran out of money. Then a famine hit and he began to suffer. He got a job feeding pigs and for a Jewish boy pigs were considered unclean. This was a dirty and humiliating job. He was so desperate that he considered eating the pig slop. Then the bible says “He came to himself”. He said “even the servants at my father’s house have food enough to spare and I am dying from starvation!” He decided to go to his father and ask for a job as a servant. He said “I’m no more worthy to be called your son”. This is how we think sometimes isn’t it? But Thank God that’s not how God thinks! When the father saw his son approaching, the father ran to him, fell on his neck and kissed him. This is how God thinks!
  4. Remember 1st John 1:9. When you’ve missed it, go to God & call it what it is – sin. He promises not only to forgive what you confess but also to cleanse you from all unrighteousness.   Just pray “Lord, I thank you that Jesus came, died for me, rose from the dead for me and by his sacrifice I am redeemed. I’ve messed up and I know I’ve messed up. I confess my sin before you and call it what it is. It’s sin and I know that I shouldn’t have done it. I thank you for forgiving me and cleansed me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.” It’s a matter of humbling yourself. It’s pretty simple and it’s the bible way to clear the slate.
  5. Forget the past! Isaiah 43:25 (WEB) I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins. God forgets your past, you forget it too- (Phil 3:13).
  6. Make a plan. Build your life while you are strong to carry you through while you are weak. Think about when you messed up. Try to structure your situation to avoid the triggers that take you down the wrong road. Ask God for the wisdom to see the triggers.
  7. Look for someone to help. Awaken the heart of ministry in you. I have found that serving & ministering to others helps me put my problems into a better perspective.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that it’s up to someone else as to whether or not you can be used. So many people are waiting for permission to become excellent. You’ve already been picked! Eph 2:10 says For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them. God already has something wonderful planned for you.

Reverend Doug Jones, National Director of Rhema Ministerial Association International and Rhema Alumni Association said something on Facebook several months ago that resonated with me so much that I wrote it down. He said “Refuse to wait for others to recognize your potential. Slip your life out of neutral into drive, you will be surprised where it will take you”.

My prayer for you is that you will find the course for your life that God has planned for you. It’s the best life you can live. It’s the life that takes you to your full potential.  Join the conversation by leaving a comment below.

Being Charitable vs. Being a Sucker. Here’s the difference.

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So here’s a scenario.  Your relative comes to you and wants to borrow money, but if you give them the money they ask for,  you will be putting yourself into financial distress. Should you give it to them?  If you don’t, are you being hard hearted?  How far should our charity go when it comes to this kind of thing?

money1

I have personally witnessed this sort of thing on more than one occasion, and I’ve seen people put themselves into a financial bind trying to help family or friends that ask for money.

Accusations sometimes arise when the person refuses to help, even after they state that they can’t afford to help right now.  A woman may even be called a hypocrite and her Christianity called into question because in the eyes of her needy relative or friend, she’s not being a good Christian because she won’t give.  So, where’s the line?  When is it okay to say NO to such requests?  What can you do?

I firmly believe in being charitable.  I believe that we are here to help one another.  If you look at the commandments that God gave the Children of Israel and also the commandments that Jesus gave the Church, they all have to do with two areas:

  • How we act toward God.
  • How we act toward one another.

It’s very important to help one another. The Bible says in Proverbs 19:17 that when you have pity on the poor, you are lending to the Lord, and the Lord will repay you.  The Bible points out in a number of places that it’s God’s will for his people to be benevolent.

Creditors have better memories than debtors. (- Proverb)

When you are asked for help, look at the condition of the one asking for it.  I try to ask myself a couple of questions before I make any decision at all concerning this.

A.  Where are they financially?

  1. Are they able to work?
  2. Do they actually have an income, that if used correctly, can meet the need?
  3. Do they have any income at all?
  4. Do they have any savings that can help them through the tough time?
  5. Do they have things of value that they can sell?

B.  Why are they where they are?

  1. Are they normally quite stable and an explosion of bad circumstances just rocked them to the point where they need help?
  2. Maybe they have recently become unemployed and they need help just bridging the gap between the old job and the next step.
  3. They may also be at the other end of this spectrum where they have had plenty of excellent opportunities to develop a strong financial life, but instead have habitually made bad choices.  I have known some that would spend money on cigarettes and beer and not have any left over for gas to get back & forth to work.  Is their Modus Operandi to live off of the charity of others? Have they gone a long time and never seemed to get it together? These people may ask for help on an ongoing basis and some may attempt to shame you if you don’t help them.  I have found that with many of these people, they believe their financial hardship is never their fault.  They are always the helpless victims of people and forces outside of their control.  They don’t take personal responsibility for where they are.

What should you do?  To find our answers we look to scripture.  2 Corinthians 9:7 (Darby) says “each according as he is purposed in his heart; not grievingly, or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver”.  Notice that the giving is to be done “as he has purposed in his heart”.  Your charity should be planned and thought out.  Look also at “not grievingly, or of necessity”.  If you can’t give by faith with a cheerful heart, you should think twice about it.  Consider the promise though, from verses 8-10 (KJV). “And God is able to make ALL grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work”.

I don’t think people should be stingy, cheap, or fearful concerning money.  I am personally convinced of how much God loves me and helps me in this area. I remember the day that Romans 8:31 – 39 became real to me.  I wept with joy when I realized that God was more “for me” than I was, and that he was actively looking for ways to get past my unbelief to help me.   Rom 8:31 & 32 says “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?”  Allow Him to build this same confidence in you.  He’s on your side.  He really is.

Practical things that you can do.

  1. Be deliberate about your giving.  Plan your giving and don’t be ruled by emotion.  Christians in general have a heart for wanting to help.  Thieves, lazy relatives and con artists take advantage of this and play to your heart.  Rev. Keith Moore said it this way: “If you show up with a fish symbol on your truck, talking about how you’re a Christian and I should trust you, bring two more references with you when you come”.  Why?  Because in reality, they may not really be Christians.  For this reason we are very deliberate in our giving. We personally have just a few organizations that we support unwaveringly.  These are planned and included in our monthly budget.
  2. Set up a benevolence fund in your budget.  Determine how much you are going to put into it every payday.  Make sure it’s an amount that you can afford but trust God to help you grow it.  It will build up over time. This will be the fund that you can use to help people with.  This should be in addition to your consistent support of your church.  In our budgeted giving we have flagged an amount each month that I sometimes call “Grass Seed”.  It’s the money that we budget for giving but doesn’t have a stated purpose.  It’s just for when situations arise and it seems like we should give.  In addition, we always make it a matter of prayer before we give.  If we don’t have peace about it, we don’t give.
  3. Set your limits.  When the fund is empty, you don’t give until you have more to give.  Don’t borrow from some other area in your budget to cover this.  That is not being a good steward of your money.
  4. Develop a resource list specific to your area. You will be able to refer people to known charities in your area that can give them the help they need. You can have everything from financial assistance to free clothing on your list. See this Resource List link for the list I use.

Your personal responsibility.  When you commit to a service or purchase something over time, you have committed your money in advance to that.  When you allow yourself to be pushed into giving money to a friend or family member when it was tagged for a payment that you owe, you’re giving away someone else’s money.  You need to keep in mind your own Christian witness to your creditors when it comes to how you give and how much you can afford.  God is not pleased, and the Gospel becomes evil spoken of when Christians poorly represent themselves and God.  When it comes to finances be wise.

Before borrowing money from a friend it’s best to decide which you need most. (Quote by – Joe Moore)

When you find yourself in a situation described by the Lord in Luke 6, obey the bible.  If your face gets smacked, turn the other cheek. Very often though, the Lord will lead you away from situations where people beat you and steal your clothes.  The bottom line in all of this is simply BE LED.  God directs his people and He will steer you. Trust Him to do it.

These are guidelines that I use and I hope they help you too.  What creative ways have you found to help others that you would like to share?  I would be glad to add them to my own tool box.  Please join the conversation by leaving your comments below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

Fathers and Firsts and the things Moms didn’t find out about.

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Gwen's pics of Dad1 cropped.

Photo courtesy of Gwen McClellan

As I was running an errand this morning, I passed a 1965 Ford Galaxie 500.  My mind immediately went back to our Ford Galaxie.  This car had a real history with our family.  I remember a day when I was in fourth grade. I was helping my dad work in our back yard when he suddenly handed me the keys to our Ford Galaxie and told me to move it.  He gave me very specific instructions; “Put the key in the ignition, lightly pump the gas pedal once or twice & turn the key forward until the starter engages, then let off the key right away as soon as you hear the engine start.  Next, put your foot on the brake & pull the gear shift lever into reverse, turn & look where you’re going, let off the brake & slowly give it just a little gas. Back the car down the driveway & stop when you’re in front of the house. Put the car in park & shut it off”.  This was my very first time behind the wheel where I was in complete control & he wasn’t even in the car.  I did everything to the letter until it came time to give it some gas.  I didn’t have a feel for how hard to push the pedal so my version of lightly was about 3 inches.  I threw driveway gravel all over the place.  Even though he scolded me, it was a big day for me.  I had driven a car.  It might have only been 20 feet but still, for a fourth grader it was huge.

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. ~Umberto Eco

So many of my “Firsts” happened with my dad.  He gave me my first taste of beer. He taught me how to fish, tell time & build a car out of two wooden blocks and some bottle caps. He threw me my first fast ball (with real heat). I thought my fingers were broken.  He used to let me hand him tools when he was working on the car. He let me tear up an old tarp so that I could make a make-shift poncho. I needed something to “fling back” behind my pistols when me and my cousin would have gun fights in the driveway.  Because of him I still know the words to a few Marty Robbins songs. Dad & me christmas 1971Without knowing it, he taught me how to think as well as judge situations and empathize with people.  He always seemed to know when something was bothering me.  I remember him specifically instructing me and my sister that nothing should ever be put in front of our relationship with God, especially when it came to choices in music or friends.  I remember him getting me out of bed late in the night in order for he, my mom, my aunt and my uncle to pray for me.  One time when I was in third grade he woke me up so they could pray over me and when he took me back to tuck me back into bed, he opened his bible to psalm 71:17 & 18 and read it to me.  He then looked me right in the eye and said “This is yours.  You confess it every night before you go to bed“.  I have done it my whole life and it has had an immeasurable influence on me.

Psa 71:17 O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. 18 Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.

Dad, Lula & Me at Grandma Gordon'sDad gave me my first guitar.  It was a Teisco Tulip guitar.  I never played it.  I think I might have learned 3 open chords but it hurt my fingers so I didn’t play it.  Dad ended up giving it to my cousin David, who didn’t play it either so my uncle Chuck gave it back.  I used to be convinced that it was the world’s biggest piece of junk but now I see how much they are selling for on Craigslist.  Wow!  Wish I still had it.  I do play guitar now though and my love of music came from dad. I have had the privilege of knowing some great men I my life.  Many of them have been strong examples, mentors & friends for me but NONE of them will ever get the honor that is reserved for him.  To my dad I would say this: You’ve started me off right.  I am forever grateful.  I honor you with every breath and every heartbeat.

My daddy, he was somewhere between God and John Wayne. ~Hank Williams, Jr

Let’s talk about Dads.  What’s special about yours?

The Very Next Step…

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stepping-outHave you ever found yourself cornered and didn’t know what to do?  Maybe you were foolish and your bad choices caught up to you or maybe you were the victim of someone else’s heartlessness. You find yourself stuck, suffering and don’t see a way out.  I know I’ve felt trapped before.

The year I graduated from high school I lost my driver’s license.  I lost it because I was uninsured and in more than one car accident.  The insurance companies for the other drivers wanted to recover damages from me that my insurance should have paid.  I was led to believe that until I paid that money I couldn’t get my license back.   My job was about 13 miles away.  I couldn’t get there in a timely manner anymore and part of my job was to make local deliveries so I was let go.  I now had a very large problem.  I couldn’t pay down any debt without a job but I couldn’t get & keep a decent paying job because I couldn’t get there.  My life sort of went on hold.  This was the last straw and it seemed like within a few days, my whole life fell apart.  I literally did not know what to do.  None of the options in front of me were good ones.  They were all bad…or so I thought.

Ben Stein
 There is no sudden leap into the stratosphere. There is only advancing step by step, slowly and tortuously, up the pyramid towards your goals.

THE VERY NEXT STEP!   If you find yourself in a situation like this, the very next step is a crucial one.  The next step can mean the difference between going deeper into your situation or it could be the very first step toward the answer that you so desperately need.  Think about it.  This next move could be the defining moment that changes everything.  My problem was that I sort of shut down and took on a victim mentality.  Never mind that it was ALL my fault!

I actually stopped taking steps for a while.  I was so polarized by the size and complexity of the situation I was in that I didn’t know what to do or what questions to ask.  Don’t allow yourself to get to this point.  Sometimes no action is the worst action. You can only effectively steer a moving vehicle. Even if it starts out going the wrong direction, it can only be corrected if it’s moving.  You can’t give up.

WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?  Psalm 25:5 (NKJ) says “Lead me in your truth, and teach me: for you are the God of my salvation; on you I wait all the day“. Isaiah 48:17 (BBE) says “The Lord who takes up your cause, the Holy One of Israel, says, I am the Lord your God, who is teaching you for your profit, guiding you by the way in which you are to go”.  I know that sometimes the pressures of life can act like blinders and all you see is the problem.  Lift your eyes.  God Himself has promised to lead you if you will listen.  He will guide you “for your profit”.  He doesn’t want you to suffer, He takes NO pleasure in it.  He wants you to have peace.  Sometimes when you’re right in the thick of the battle, it may seem like you have to take five steps before you’re close enough to even ask for help but that is not the truth.  God says in Hebrews 13:5 “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”.  You will never be out of His reach.  He says in Isaiah 59:1 (WEB) “Behold, Yahweh’s hand is not shortened, that it can’t save; neither His ear heavy, that it can’t hear”.  The separation is on our part.  We fail to look to Him for help.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains.

THE BREAK THROUGH.   Remember, I said I stopped moving forward.  It took me a little while to start moving again.  A few years later, through many wonderful events, too many to talk about here, I was able to get a good job and even get married,  but I still didn’t have my license.  I really wanted to get this fixed but still didn’t know how.  I had however been praying about it a lot and asking specifically for wisdom to know what to do.  One night while relaxing in the bathtub (Yes, God can deal with you anywhere) the Lord began to deal with my heart.  I didn’t hear a voice or anything like that but a thought occurred to me just as clear as if I has spoken it myself.  “Have you done everything you CAN do?”  In a split second I could see that there was ONE thing that I COULD do.  I could pay the re-instatement fee.  I didn’t have the thousands of dollars it would take to clear the whole mess up, but I had the re-instatement fee.  So I paid it.  Why you may ask?  Because it was the one thing I COULD do, so I did it trusting that God would make something out of it.

A few weeks later I received a call from a very nice lady who worked for the Secretary of State’s office in the state where I lived.  She indicated that she had received a check from me and was wondering why.  I explained my whole situation to her and about paying the re-instatement fee.  She then began to give me a very detailed roadmap to fix my situation.  She told me what forms I needed and where to get them.  She told me what to do in each situation in order to get resolution.  I thanked her and hung up the phone.  I don’t remember today if I jumped around the room or not but I remember being “off the hook” excited.  I was thanking God!  To make a long story short, within two months I had my license and had about $7,000 of an $11,000 debt forgiven.  God knew exactly who I needed to talk to.  I am convinced to this day that it was a divine setup.

Step in Sand

The thing I want you to remember is this.  You are never more than one step away from the right direction.  You are never more than one step away from help.  I don’t care how dark it may appear where you are, God is not too far away!  Let Him lead you.  The very next step could be the first step toward the answer.

How can you move forward?  Even if it seems like an insignificant step, what could you do?  What example in your own life could you share to help others?  Please join the conversation by leaving a comment.

 

 

 

 

Do you care what people think? Here’s why you should.

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tape-over-mouth1Hurray for Social Media!  Because of Social Media I have been able to connect with people from my past that I have truly missed.  I am now connected again with my best friend from high school.  I’m able to stay current on family and friends even though we are spread across so many different states.  Social media has given me somewhat direct access to people I respect and admire and I now get to keep up better with their lives, work and ministries.  Social media gives me unique perspective that I didn’t have without it.  For example, before social media I would never be able to see or know what you’re having for lunch, even while you’re in a different time zone. Awesome!  I’ll try that restaurant when I’m there.  Without social media, I wouldn’t know how many people I know who used to secretly smoke pot in Colorado but are now posting pictures of it on Facebook.  What I have also learned is how many young people “don’t give a (cuss)” what people think of them, or at least that’s what they say…over and over again.

Let us ask ourselves; What kind of people do we think we are?   -Ronald Reagan

I am under no illusion that when it comes to my social media activity, people are forming opinions or having opinions reinforced about me.  Social media aside, people are doing that to all of us everyday.  You are doing that to others also.  Here’s the question; should you care what other people think of you?  Does it matter?  The profound answer to that question is “Yes” and “No”.  Now that we’ve muddied the waters allow me to explain.

Core values & social filters.  I break it down into three categories:

  1. Unchanging values.  Personally speaking, I have core values that are formed by the Bible.  I made a decision back in 1985 that the Bible was going to be the final authority in my life.  My understanding of the scripture has become the primary filter that I use to interpret my life and circumstances.  I am unwilling to compromise in this area.  This has become an area in my life that even when I have been made fun of, pressured or persecuted because of it, I will not change.  I have decided long ago that the negative opinions of others will not change my thinking where this is concerned.
  2. Flexible values. Socially things are a little different.  I have had a Facebook account since 2008 and in that time I have only unfriended two people, both were for very poor behavior.  My thoughts are that I don’t want to burn a bridge or remove an avenue where I might at some point have a positive influence on someone.  I am cautious as to what I will speak up about.  I am not interested in alienating people.  I do have very specific opinions on many areas of our culture but I am very reserved when it comes to engaging in debate about them.  Convictions on the other hand, I will not back down on.  The truth is that in many areas I do care what people think.  I don’t want my language, my attitude or my appearance to ever shut me out of an excellent opportunity.  Unfortunately this is happening to people all of the time.  They are being ignored for some great opportunities because of their language, attitude or appearance.
  3. Your way.  In some situations the most important thing to me is the happiness of others.  In these situations I will be watching for opportunities to adapt & change in order to make the situation run smoother and that everyone is happy.

I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!  –Theodore Roosevelt

Social media is a little deceptive though, don’t you think?  Looking at someone’s Facebook profile is really looking at a highlight reel.  Social media makes other people’s lives seem so much more exciting than yours.  In reality though, while people are posting cool pictures of them doing fun and interesting things, they are posting those pictures in between loads of laundry. Party over there!

Tell me an area where you care what people think?  What area are you uncompromising in?  I would love to hear your comments.  Join the conversation.

Your Path and Your Provision

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I want to let you know that you can now get my mini-eBook “Your Path and Your Provision” for free when you sign up for email updates.Your Path & Your Provision book image.pngHere’s an excerpt.

Did you know though that God has a path just for you? It is a life that was designed just for you. It’s your life of significance, and only you can live it to the fullest. It’s a life that God has tailor made for you and only in this God designed life can you reach your full potential.

I want to show you that you can discover God’s plan for your life. You can find your path of significance. You can find out what you were meant to do with your life and you can begin on that path today!

Ephesians 2:10 We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works which God has before ordained that we should walk in them.

We are His workmanship.

God created you. He crafted you to the finest detail. Psalm 139:14 says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God put into you grace, gifts & equipment to make you effective in your life. His giftings are tailor made for you to do what He created you to do. God built you to be “High Performance” in the life that He’s ordained for you. God created you on purpose and for a very special purpose! He did not create you with all your awesome gifts just to toss you out there to see what would happen. He built you in a precise and specific way.

I hope you enjoyed this.

Always remember, I respect your privacy and I will never share your email with anyone.