Each year as Father’s day comes around, I want to take some time to write a post about it because fatherhood is such a big deal to me. If I’m honest though, it’s one of the hardest posts to write. If you’re a regular reader, you know that my Dad and Mom separated when I was 10 and divorced when I was 11. From that time to this, I’ve only spent time with my Dad once, and that was over Christmas break in the 1980’s. The last time I heard his voice was the day my youngest daughter was born. It will be 23 years ago this year.
While my Dad is still among the living, we don’t have any fellowship together. I am not distant because it’s my choice. I’m distant because it seems to be what they (he and his wife) want.
Truthfully, I really do want him to be happy, and if my presence or interaction with him and his family makes it hard for him, then I’m okay with keeping my distance. My consoling thought is that when we both get to heaven, we will have a curse-less eternity to get things sorted out between us. Until that day, I’m just going to love and honor him as best I can from this distance.
That being said, I try to always remember to send cards on Father’s day, his birthday and Christmas. I don’t always remember but I try. The reason is simple. I want to make sure that I am doing all I can to honor him. I might no be able to do much, but I will do all I can do.
If you read my posts, you will find that my writing is not about fixing your relationship with your Dad because I can’t really write about that with any credibility. Instead, I focus on how to grow up and be a good, quality man, in spite of not having a Dad around.
While I speak about this issue honestly and don’t try to flower it up, I also NEVER throw my Dad under the bus so to speak. I am honest but not derogatory. I don’t use hateful speech when talking about him and I always try to emphasize that I love and honor him.
My experiences as a son have had a huge influence on my being a father myself. I recognize the importance of being there and demonstrating my love for my children. Hollywood often portrays the Dad as being foolish, childish or selfish, but a real Dad is none of those things. Don’t get me wrong – Dad’s are usually great at horsing around with their kids, but real fatherhood is about training up your child. It’s about learning things that are real enough and important enough to pass on to your children. The goal of every Dad should be to make fully developed and mature sons and daughters out the the little children that God gave him.
