Category Archives: Wisdom

Great books I’ve read in the last year.

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While I have always enjoyed reading, I haven’t always been a big reader.  Reading was always something I did when I had to.  The first book I can remember reading on my own, without anyone making me, was called “King of the Wind”.  It was a book about a horse named Sham, and his mute stable boy named Agba.  I don’t remember much of the story because I read it in third grade, but I remember really liking it.

I became a serious reader when I became a Christian.  I made it a point to read my Bible every night before I would go to sleep.  I also developed a strong appetite for teaching books by Christian authors like Kenneth E. Hagin & Kenneth Copeland.  I read all I could get my hands on.

After several years, I became exposed to other famous authors and famous non fiction books, such as Dale Carnegie’s How to win friends and influence people, and John Maxwell’s 21 irrefutable laws of Leadership.  I try to flip through these every year or two to keep fresh on their content.  With few exceptions, I stick mainly to non-fiction.

This year I put forth serious effort to read more, good quality books.  The one’s I talk about here came highly recommended. I would have to say, while I liked some more than others, they were all good and I would recommend all of them to anyone who’s goal is personal growth.  So, without further ado, here’s my list.

The Art of Work – A proven path to discover what you were meant to do.  By Jeff Goins.  Published by Thomas Nelson.

In The Art of Work,  Jeff breaks the book into three main parts, Preparation, Action & Completion.  He examines our purpose, and our journey toward fulfill our calling.  He examines how we look at vocation, career & calling, ultimately leading to the truth “Meaningful work is available to anyone who dares to find it”.

 

 

Launch – Jeff Walker.  Published by Morgan James.     Jeff Walker outlines his secret formula for marketing online.  Jeff started with humble beginnings as a stay at home dad with an interest in the stock market.  His first online business started with a subscription newsletter about the stock market and grew from there.

Jeff points out that there are a lot of online marketers out there, teaching a lot of stuff, but we need to pay attention to the successful ones.  What’s important isn’t necessarily what they are teaching, it’s what they are doing.  The successful ones are usually using Jeff’s formula. Launch outlines how almost anyone can start an online business.

 

Platform – Get noticed in a noisy world. By Michael Hyatt.  Published by Thomas Nelson.

Michael is the former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers.  He points out that while there were some tremendous book ideas submitted for publishing over the years, many were refused because no one had ever heard of the author.  Michael outlines why we need a platform and offers step by step guidance in building your own, including building your home base, expanding your reach and handling social media.

 

 

The One Thing, The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results.  By Gary Keller. (Published by Bard Press).
Gary is the Chairman of the board and co-founder of Keller Williams Realty, the largest real estate company in the world.  The One Thing focuses on success and productivity by addressing three major points.
A. The lies we’ve been told about productivity and work, and how they have misled and derailed our success.
B. The simple truth about real productivity.
C. Getting extraordinary results and unlocking your possibilities.
It’s a great book that even comes with a “Do not disturb, I’m working on my one thing” door hanger bound into the back of the book.

 

Living Forward –  a proven plan to stop drifting and get the life you want.  Michael Hyatt & Daniel Harkavy.  (Published by Baker Books).
This book focuses on our desire for a life of meaning and significance, joy and satisfaction.  Michael & Daniel break down life planning into three main parts.  First, understanding the need, second, understanding the mission, and finally, making it happen.  This book is very interactive, and asks you to take a minimum of one full day to stop, and give real real, intentional thought to your life.

They first ask you to write your own eulogy, with a sharp focus on how you want to be remembered.  The authors encourage you to break your life into categories, and then establish a vision in each.  Living Forward helps you to identify and write down the goals for each category, and establish a plan to accomplish them, while continuing to grow in each.  Both Daniel & Michael are Christians and they acknowledge that our plans will change as we come to know and more fully understand God’s direction for our lives.  They have a built in review schedule for you to tweak, update, or fully revise your life plan.  I highly recommend this book.

 

Essentialism – Greg Mckeown.  (Published by Crown Business).    Greg starts off telling the story of Dieter Rams, a lead designer for Braun.  Deiter designed by a principle which in German is stated – Weniger aber besser. The English translation is “Less, but better”.  I now have this statement on the wall in my office at work.

It was Deiter that we can thank for taking the home stereo from being the Oak, or walnut monolith of the past, that took up a large portion of the living room, to being the sleek, streamlined component based stereo that fit in far less space.  Less, but better.  Essentialism is not about getting more done in less time. It’s about getting only the right things done.  Peter Drucker said “There is surely nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency what should not be done at all.”  There are a lot of people who are very busy but not productive.

Essentialism examines the discipline of finding the essential, and eliminating what is not.  It asks and answers the question:  How can we discern the trivial many, from the vital few.

 

The Traveler’s Gift – Seven decisions that determine personal success.  By Andy Andrews.  (Published by Thomas Nelson).
The Traveler’s Gift is a fictional story of a man named David Ponder.  David is a 46 year old man struggling with his life.  On the way home from being fired from his job, David is in a car accident.  His last words before losing consciousness are “God, Why Me?”

David awakens in another time, and in the course of his journey through time, he meets seven people.  Each person gives David a scroll with a message on it.  These messages are nuggets of wisdom that ultimately change David’s life.

 

Decisive, How to make better choices in life and work. By Chip and Dan Heath.  (Published by Crown Business).
I found this book very insightful.  It helped me recognize areas in my decision making that were not very helpful.  The Heath Brothers examine decision making by highlighting the four villains of decision making.  There is good advice and guidance for the person struggling with choices.

They discuss everything from our tendency to only collect research that supports our already held beliefs or desires, to our tendency to only look at our problems through a remarkably narrow frame of vision.

 

Love Does – Discover a secretly incredible life in an ordinary world.   By Bob Goff.  (Published by Thomas Nelson).
Bob is the founder and CEO of Restore International.  A nonprofit organization fighting injustices against children. He also shares leadership in a law firm in Washington state called Goff & Dewalt, which practices in Washington and California.  He also serves as Honorary Consul to the Republic of Uganda.

This book is full of remarkable and interesting stories from Bob’s own life.  Each chapter declares a topic, Bob gives a short sentence about his personal belief, and then tells a story about it.

This book challenges the Christian to move away from the heavy weight of being religious, and just start loving, serving and helping people.

 

Take the Stairs – Seven steps to achieving true success.  By Rory Vaden.  (Published by Pedigree Publishing).

This book examines productivity, procrastination and self discipline.  Rory outlines seven strategies for helping us to live a more disciplined life.

He points out that many people don’t take the stairs because they are too busy looking for the escalator.  Rory points out that there really is no escalator, and that, once you kill the idea that there is an escalator (an easy way), you’ll realize that the fastest way to get what you want is to actually do the work, and make your goals a reality.

 

There you have it.  These were all worth my time to read, and I find myself using nuggets from each of them in my everyday life.

What books have you read that you would recommend?  Please share in the comments.

Until next time,

Art

ProForm – What are the Proverbs for?

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The book of Proverbs was written to a son.  The Proverbs are geared toward the instruction of men, young men in particular.

This week’s video looks at three things we as young men need to do regarding wisdom.

 

Know – Perceive – Receive.

My prayer is that you found this helpful.  I want to challenge you to recognize, perceive and receive wisdom this week.  I pray that the Lord open your eyes to it and make it readily apparent to you as you live each day.

If this helped you, please like and share this post.

 

How to get clarity & direction.

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For many years I struggled with knowing what to do.  I usually ended up drifting. I would make the best choice of the opportunities that would float by me, but I had no idea what the future held.  I just hoped that it would be good and sometimes worried that it wouldn’t be.  Yes, I said worried.

Today I don’t believe in worry.  Worry is a form of fear, and fear is the opposite of faith.  We know by scripture that faith comes from hearing God’s Word continually.  I now know that when I’m tempted to worry now, I need more exposure to God’s promises.

I took some time off from Blogging this last month to spend some extra time praying and getting clarity regarding direction in 2017.  I put some of the things I’ve been thinking about in this video.  I pray you find it helpful.

So – Are you with me?  I would really like to hear from you.  What are you focusing on for the coming year?

If this video helps you at all, please share.

I sure do appreciate you all.

Art

DO YOU SUFFER FROM LIMITED THINKING?

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Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right”.

I used to think that there were a lot of things that were unobtainable to me. A lot of places I couldn’t reach. And I was right. While it seemed like the circumstances were holding me down, it wasn’t the circumstances that were really limiting me. It was my thinking. As I grew up, I learned that I could reach further than I thought. I began to understand that the things that were limiting me and locking me into my small life, were actually movable. I could change them.

Courtesy of Stocksnap.io

Courtesy of Stocksnap.io

Hear this again…I learned that I could reach further than I thought. Much of the time, I didn’t try to reach further than I thought. Why, because I didn’t try to think further, and because of that, I couldn’t see very far. I had no vision for it. I was limited by what I thought.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right” -Henry Ford.

I can truthfully say today, for me, the idea of No Control is a lie. It was not always a lie though. There was a time when “I can’t help it” was the truth. Not because it was impossible, but because I couldn’t see past the limits.

We often let our circumstances fill our windshield and become so big that they are all we can see. We begin to feel that they are beyond our control. We don’t see any options. Part of the problem is that we tend to bring the problem into ultra sharp focus and then the only choices we see are the ones that are close. Chip and Dan Heath in their book Decisive, call this the Narrow Frame. Often this becomes evident when we hear phrases like Should I, or shouldn’t I? Yes or No. We tend only to see the options that are in the spotlight, completely ignoring all the other possibilities because they are not in the narrow frame.

That’s really something to think about. Our choices are limited because they are the only ones we’re looking at. We may have many more options but we don’t see them because we’re stuck with narrow frame vision. The limit is really what we can or can’t see.

A long time ago, I started my first apprenticeship to learn how to run a printing press. I remember the first time I was washing up the press, I left some of the old ink in the corners & creases of the ink fountain. It looked like old, dried on ink that had built up and had been there for years. When Tim, the guy training me, came to inspect my work, he zeroed in on the ink fountain and made me clean it again. I told him that I thought it was dried on and built up over time. He insisted that I give it another shot and do better. Truthfully, it took me just a few extra minutes of serious cleaning to get the fountain completely clean. My problem was that it LOOKED like it had been dried on and built up over time so I didn’t give it the effort. I allowed what I was seeing, or at least how I was interpreting what I was seeing, impose a limit on me, and because I thought I couldn’t, I gave the kind of effort that comes with “I can’t”.

I’m thankful today that Tim made me do it right. I began to see that when you get to the limits of what you think is possible, you should go ahead and push harder. You will be surprised. There’s almost always more out there.

If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

The question that emerges is this:  Can we change what we can see? Can we change how far we can see? Do we have any control over our vision? I would say that we do, to a certain extent, but I also know that sometimes, we don’t know there are questions there to be asked. We don’t know what we don’t know. So then, how can we expand our vision?

Tim had been a press man for over 20 years. He knew that the fountain could be cleaned. If Tim hadn’t been there to drive me to a better result, I would have settled for my first one. That is the point of an apprenticeship. An apprentice learns from a master. This means that in order to expand your vision:

  1. You have to expose yourself to people who know what you don’t. This is a common denominator in the lives of people who excel. They have mentors or are following someone who knows what they want to know. I have a few older gentlemen in my life that I look to for guidance. I also follow some successful people online.When Jesus gave the invitation for the twelve to follow him, the word follow that He used comes from the words for Union and Road. The implication is To be in the same way with, to accompany, follow and reach.
  2. You have to be teachable. The book of Proverbs in the Bible continually points out that fools despise instruction.
    Pro_12:15  The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
    Pro_15:5   A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.
    Pro_23:9  Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.
    The bottom line is that you already know what you know. To get new information, you have to listen to the wisdom of people who have already traveled the road you’re on.  This usually means being quiet.
  3. You have to act on what you learn. James 1:22 says that we need to be doers of the Word, and not just hearers. We may have heard something awesome that has the potential to unlock the barriers in our lives. The temptation is to think that because we know it, it’s working for us. James says that when we think this way, we deceive ourselves. It’s the doer that is blessed in his deeds.
  4. You have to practice. I have a Fender Stratocaster guitar. So does Eddie Van Halen. I know how to play guitar. So does Eddie Van Halen. Are Eddie and I equals when it comes to playing the guitar? I wish. What’s the difference? Eddie stays up all night practicing all the time. In his early years, he would sit on the edge of his bed practicing while his brother was out on dates. What’s the difference between me and Eddie? About 10,000 hours of practice.
  5. You have to push yourself. Rory Vaden says “You can not balance your way into an extraordinary result”. You must imbalance yourself in the direction of what’s important. In the documentary The Five Keys of Mastery, the final key is Play the edge. This means that you need to always be pushing yourself beyond what you’ve done before. This means pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

One of my favorite quotes has been attributed to everyone from Tony Robbins to Albert Einstein. I don’t know who said it first but the truth of it is no less powerful. If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always got. If we want better in our life, in our job, in our relationships, then we are going to have to do something different. We may have to start listening to different people, or hanging with different friends. In AA they call it ‘Changing your playground’.  The point is that in order to see further, we have to expose ourselves to new input.  We can take steps today to remove the limits from our thinking.  I’m in…Are you with me?

If this helps you in any way and you think it could help someone else, please share it. Thank you for helping me reach further.

I appreciate you guys!

Art

Five ways to avoid hurting with your words.

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These days when we have a question, we can almost immediately satisfy our curiosity by whipping out our smart phones and googling it. I do this all the time. Unfortunately, accessing information this way doesn’t necessarily help us remember it. Most of the time, once I’ve satisfied my curiosity, I forget the answer I looked up. It’s like we’re all players in a real life game of trivial pursuit, except we don’t really have to know anything. We can just google it.

While I may not retain some of what I google in curious whimsy, I have learned a tremendous amount from my own online research. Everything from building a website to installing an electric window regulator in a Honda Accord. The global knowledge base is there for anyone with a device to access.

wisdom

While I’ve learned quite a bit online, sometimes it’s hard to practically do what you learn because there are subtleties in any job that you can only learn by doing. This is the difference between wisdom and knowledge. While doing my daughter’s brakes, the first took me about 45 minutes.  The second took me nine.

Knowledge is – the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association” – (Websters Online Dictionary). Wisdom on the other hand is – Accumulated philosophic or scientific learning; Knowledge, ability to discern inner qualities and relationships. Insight, good sense; Judgment, generally accepted belief – (Websters Online Dictionary).

To break it down a little, Knowledge is knowing. Facts have been accumulated, stored and remembered, while Wisdom is the skillful use of knowledge. One can be wise in one area but foolish in another, while possessing knowledge in both areas.  When I see a wise man, I understand that in the area that he is wise, it’s not his first time dealing in it. He’s not a novice.

I say all of this because I want to be wise when dealing with others. I don’t want to rely on knowledge only when dealing with people. I care about people. I spend time thinking about interactions and in some cases, I try to choose words and actions in advance. I do this because if I see a potential problem, I want to do all I can to avoid it, and sometimes that means seeing it coming and deciding in advance how I will handle it so that in the moment, I’m not overtaken by high emotions or stress.

That’s why it bothers me so much when I do get swept up in emotion and stress. Sometimes, things just get sideways.

A few years ago I made someone so angry that they stopped speaking to me. I didn’t mean to make them that angry, but they were reaching out for help and I didn’t see it. Instead, I saw them being melodramatic and manipulative. They were hurting and I didn’t realize how much. I was insensitive, rude and I hurt their feelings. I also didn’t see how strong their response would be, so I was totally shocked when it all went south.

I am thankful to say that we have fixed things between us and are enjoying a good relationship, but it’s not the first time I’ve hurt someone and not seen it coming. I sometimes have a big mouth. I really don’t like when I hurt people so I’ve compiled a short list of things I try to do to avoid it.

  1. Ask God for wisdom.
    James 1:5 If any of you needs wisdom to know what you should do, you should ask God, and he will give it to you. God is generous to everyone and doesn’t find fault with them. (GW).
  2. Consider the end.
    Proverbs 22:3 says A prudent man foresees the evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished. The fool passes all the signs of trouble but doesn’t see them. They just roll down the road at full speed and are surprised when they run into trouble. A wise man by contrast, will see the trouble coming and take action to either stop it, or side step it. Jeff Walker calls this Looking through the corners.  It’s a reference to being in a race. When you are moving fast, the wrong thing to do is to just look right in front of you. If you do that, problems will enter your field of vision too late for you to respond.  If you look thought the corners, you’ll see it coming and you will have plenty of time to take action.  We can to this with interpersonal relationships too. We can anticipate certain problems and head them off before they can happen.
  3. Look to your elders for wisdom.
    I remember a situation while serving in a helps ministry at church.  Something happened that hurt our leaders. Everyone saw it and everyone knew that they were hurt. I remember talking to one of them and asking her what she was going to do. I was expecting her to outline a strategy for dealing with it but that’s not what she did. She responded with this. “I’m going to forgive them. What other choice do I have?” That answer has stayed with me and helped me on many occasions. This woman loves God and loves people. The Lord commanded her to forgive, (Mark 11:25). Neither she, nor the Lord consider this to be a suggestion.  It didn’t come with options. She knows and has demonstrated that to obey means to forgive. In like manner, our elders can often see things from a higher perspective than we can, and can often offer excellent guidance.
  4. Let everything come from a heart of love.
    Let your reasons for saying or doing anything be motivated by a true desire to help and to show love. Many people have been hurt by people saying “Well, I told them the truth!” Scripture says about believers that we: “speaking the truth in Love, may grow up in Him in all things” (Eph 4:15). I don’t think its accidental that when we are speaking the truth IN LOVE, that we are showing signs of maturity and growth. It’s important that we make sure our words are born of love and are spent out of our mouths with the purpose of edifying and strengthening one another.
  5. Shut up.
    Truthfully, no one wants free advice, so we shouldn’t be quick to give advice unless we’re asked. Most of the time, when people are wanting to talk, we need to answer the other half of that equation…we need to listen. Many people are looking to share and to be heard. It’s only when they ask that we should think it appropriate to advise. We need to watch for the phrase “You know what you should do?” While it’s usually coming from a honest desire to help, it often has an underlying message. “You know what you should do? Follow my advice because it’s obvious that you don’t know how to live your life”. While people may not intend to send this message, it’s often the one that’s heard.

Interpersonal relationships can be tricky sometimes, depending on the people involved. I don’t think any of us get out of bed in the morning thinking “Who can I pick a fight with today?”, but sometimes the fight just finds you. My prayer is that I’ve given you some practical things to help you avoid hurting people with your words.

While I know that sharing this sort of stuff is hard because none of us really wants to show our shortcomings, do you have a story that can help others? Please join the conversation & leave a comment.

Also – If this has helped you in any way and you think it can help someone else, please consider sharing.

Thank You!

Art

Are you being authentic or just stupid?

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One podcast I enjoy listening to is called Steal The Show with Michael Port. Most of the time, the format of the podcast is that Michael interviewing people that he believes will add value to his listener. Sometimes its just him speaking directly to the listener. In the last few episodes, Michael has touched on what it means to be authentic and quite honestly, he’s got me thinking.

The Bible says in Pro 18:2 A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.

Barnes commentary on Prov 18:2 says this:  Another form of egotism. In “understanding,” i. e., self-knowledge, the “fool” finds no pleasure; but self-assertion, talking about himself and his own opinions, is his highest joy.

Chameleon

During Michael’s interview with Tucker Max, they discussed in depth about having different rolls for different situations. Tucker speaking quite candidly, said “I’ve always resisted the idea that we should have different rolls for different situations, but it’s kind of an immature, young person thing to do to say ‘No – I have one identity. I’m one person. I’m going to be the same everywhere. That’s the only way to be honest’. That’s that sort of idealistic, nonsense, young person stuff. Finally, I have come around to realize that having different social masks, identities, or rolls is not being fake.”

Michael responds with “To be called a chameleon is generally considered an insult, but a chameleon is adaptive. They are green when they are on a green leaf, they are red when on a red leaf, but they are never faking it. It’s actually part of who they are, and people have those abilities too.”

Michael later interviewed Mark Bowden. Mark is an expert at body language. He comes from an acting & performance background. Mark points out that at any given time, you feel multiple ways about what’s going on. It’s up to you to decide the most appropriate manner to display yourself. In this you are still being authentic, but you are also being wise.

Here’s a simple, personal example of what Mark talked about:

  • This is hard. It’s hard to write things week after week with very little engagement from readers. I don’t know if anyone is listening. I don’t know if it’s going anywhere. I don’t know if I’m really helping anyone. It’s hard to keep moving forward. I could be doing something more fun right now. I’m not sure it’s worth it.
  • This is awesome. I absolutely love doing this blog. I love making a difference in the lives of people. I am so grateful that God has given me this incredible opportunity. I’m making a difference in the lives of people. Even if it’s not today, maybe someone will read my stuff in the future and it will change their life. This is awesome. I have so much to say! I love helping people!

Right now, both of these thoughts exist in me. I have to decide which is appropriate for the situation and yield to that one. I am not betraying myself by shutting down thoughts that I have that don’t help me or move me forward.

It seems to me the idea that, in order to be authentic, we should only have one version of ourselves and force-fit that one version into all situations is a bit stupid.

To a certain extent, I expect to see this in younger people. They are still learning what is important. It breaks my heart to see it in people who are old enough to know better though. They are really hindering themselves. Here’s why.

When you hold to the idea that in order to be true to yourself and to be truly authentic, you must be the one version of YOU in all situation, you are requiring the people and the environment to meet you on your terms. You are requiring them to wrap around you – to serve you, your will, your way. We might call people like this High Maintenance. What they really are is selfish.

On the other hand, when you go into every situation with the idea that “I will be what the situation requires”, you are not being less authentic, you are being the version of you that cares about the people you’re with. You’re being more thoughtful, more compassionate, more helpful. You are people and situation focused instead of me focused. You are still being you, you are just being the better, more giving and caring version of who you really are.

So what do you think? Do you have a story about what it means to authentic? Please join the conversation in the comments.

Also, If this has helped you, please share.

Love you guys.

Art

If you can slow down and do this, you can avoid a future full of regret.

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In his anger he shouts “I don’t (cuss)ing care what you say! You need to get off of my back and stop trying to run my (cuss)ing life! You need to fix your own mess before you try to fix me!” In exasperation John picks up his coat and storms out of the house. He only hesitates long enough to slam the door on his way out, leaving his mom standing in the middle of the living room crying. “She won’t let up.” He thought as he stomped off the porch steps. John’s mom had been pushing him to get a job. She really wanted him to enroll in community college but he said he wanted a break first before he rolled into the “Real World”.

John had been staying in his room gaming for weeks now and hadn’t done anything except eat, hang out with his friends & borrow money since graduating from high school four months ago. She wanted more for him and she expected more from him. So she pushed him. She didn’t want to be a nag but she really wanted to see some forward motion. That brings us to this moment. The moment John is walking down his street thinking about how he had just exploded a few minutes ago and said all those hurtful things to his mom.

His mom had been single for many years now and had been raising him on her own. She was committed to doing her absolute best to raise her son up to be a good man. She often wondered and feared that her best might not be enough. She had recently had her own relationship go bad and she was still getting over that. She had no idea that John would use that to hurt her, but he did…just now.

As John walked, his conscience began to bother him. He knew he had gone too far. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t know why he said it. He was just mad and lost control. He was sorry but was unsure what to do next and he didn’t know how to make it right. Now shame was beginning to creep in. He began to tear up. “Why do I have to be such a jerk!” He said out loud in an anger that was now aimed at himself.

Few things can compare to knowing what to do.

 

We’ve all done what John did. We’ve been in situations where we have allowed the pressure to build until we’ve just “blasted off”, vented our anger, said mean things and hurt people we care about. We would probably also all agree that while we as individuals are not necessarily mean people, we just get caught up in the moment and react badly.

To be sure, even as I write this, I still deal with the temptation to think and say the wrong thing because of the heightened stress of a situation. I caught myself just this last week letting something slip out of my mouth and then quickly having to try to recover and minimize the damage because of my poor reaction to pressure.

This matters because we’ve all said or done things that we regret and wish we could change. If a person can get this, they can live with no regrets.  So what’s to be done?

Prov 21:3 says – Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.  The World English Bible (WEB) says it this way – Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles.

To guard or to keep imply that you are watching for because you are expecting trouble.  When it comes to our mouths, this could not be more true.

James the Apostle said – For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. The New Living Translation (NLT) says it this way – Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

The bottom line is that we are the ones responsible for our words.  We are to make sure our words don’t offend or hurt.  Some have said “God, Why did you let me say that?” – but we should not be asking God to do something that He has told us to do.  He will help, strengthen and empower you but it’s you who must do the doing.

Set your standards before the moment so you don’t waiver in the moment.  This one truth has helped me so much in this area.  I try to run all things that happen in my life through the filter of the Word of God and if I can, I want to establish my thinking in advance.  One definition I’ve heard for Wisdom is “The skillful use of knowledge.”  In the 24th chapter of the book of Proverbs, the writer talks about the field & garden of the foolish & lazy.  He says in verse 32 “I saw and considered it well: I looked on it and received instruction.”  That’s the take-away.  Consideration.  If we will establish in advance how we will act when the heat is on, then it eliminates all the choices we might have to make when the heat is on.  Can you see the truth here?

I heard a story many years ago about a man who was called to testify in court against the man he worked for.  He was told that if he lied and protected his boss, he would be richly rewarded.  When the time came for this man to testify, he simply told the truth.  His teenage son talked to him about it later and commented that it must have been a tough choice to make with the possibility of all that money hanging in front of him.  The dad simply told his son that the choice wasn’t tough at all because he had made it many years ago when he decided that he wouldn’t tell lies.

Consider in advance and set your standards before the moment, so you won’t waiver in the moment.

If this post has helped you this week, I would ask you to please share it with those you know who it might also help.  I really appreciate your support in helping me reach those who can benefit.

Have a most excellent week!

Art

Your Success Is Closer Than You Think.

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When I was younger, I was always looking for the magic bullet.  The truth, thing, event or person that would solve my problem. Then, presto – all the tumblers would just fall into place, the door would open, the birds would sing…Hello Easy Street!  If you are anything like me, you find yourself looking for the hack.  I like hacks, easy ways of doing difficult things.  I really like finding a better way to do almost anything.

Dart board bullseye

While that “Magic Bullet” idea may be pretty unrealistic, your success and victory are closer than you think. What if I told you that you could improve your life, build strong relationships and enhance important ones, now. You wouldn’t even have to pay separate processing and handling to get two for the price of one. While this is worth a lot, it’s absolutely free. Well, kind of.

How you might ask?

By doing what you know to do. That’s right. You and I already know that there are things we should be doing. We already know that there are things we should be quitting. We  already know that there are things we should be and should NOT be saying. How do I know so much about this you may be asking?  Because I deal with it too. But I recognize that we are limiting our own success and happiness in many ways because we are not doing what we know to do.

True, there are probably plenty of things you ARE doing that you know you should, but we all seem to have things that we either don’t want to do or we are simply afraid to do. Maybe we have a deep notion that we need to reach out to a loved one who has grown distant, but we’re afraid of rejection or making things worse. Maybe we are yielding to personal immaturity and are trying to punish a loved one for a past hurt. Either way, we really know what needs to be done, we’re just not doing it. It takes guts but…do what you know to do.

James 4:17 in the BBE says a Man who has knowledge of how to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

You can even take it a step further by doing ALL you know to do.

When I was a younger man, I lost my license. Yep, the state said “That’s enough out of you”.  As time went by, it became a real problem in my life. I prayed about it but I also feared it. It was a big mystifying problem and I didn’t know what to do. I remember the night I got my breakthrough. I didn’t hear an audible voice but it was a still small voice deep down inside me.  Here’s what I heard, “Have you done all you can do?” I thought about that for a few seconds and I realized that there was really only one step that I could take that was small enough to actually take. That was to pay the $40 reinstatement fee. Everything else was just too big and scary. I knew that paying the reinstatement fee was something that I should be doing after I had resolved all the other things, but it was literally all I could do. So I did it!

A couple of weeks later I got a phone call from the State that had my license, asking me why I had sent them a $40 check. I told the lady on the phone that I didn’t know how to fix my problem but I was taking the only step I could see to take. She then began to unravel the whole problem for me and in just a few minutes, I had a clear road-map to get completely out from under the suspension and get my license back. It was just a few weeks later that I was able to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and get my license. I know I’ve talked about this before but I just can’t encourage you enough. If it seems too big and mysterious, take that step that you can see to take. Begin doing not only what you know to do, but start doing ALL you know to do.

It helps me to break things down into steps. Steps allow me to make incremental progress and at the same time record little wins that help me keep my fire stoked.

  1. Decide. You need to make a decision that you will not hold back anymore. A lot of the pain and suffering that we experience is partially in our control. Often, we have the power to make it better if we would just quit holding out, waiting for someone else to make the first move. Decide to do.
  2. Pray. Ask the Lord for guidance. How should you move forward? He knows. Two things you can be sure of. If you are going to do it His way, Love will be in your words and your actions. And, you will do it by faith. You will not necessarily see immediate results. You will have to walk and stand by Faith.
  3. Make a list. Honesty Time! Write down the areas where you know you’re not doing all you know to do. It’s important because once you get it down, you can now start to make a plan of action. I will often write it down and then work backwards, asking myself questions & writing down the answers to get clarity about how to move forward. This also gives me something to physically mark off when I’ve followed through and completed a step. Great victories are compiled of lots of little wins

If you are dealing with difficult or broken relationships, YOU take responsibility to make the first move.  You may be surprised at how little it takes to make a huge difference.  You will at the very minimum be able to breath easier knowing that the distance between you and them is no longer because of you.  You have done what you know to do and ALL that you know to do.  Also, by acting by Faith, you are giving God an open door to get into your business and work supernaturally.

What steps could you take that would help you move from being a hearer to being a doer this week? I would encourage you to write down at least two actionable items & make it your goal this week to follow through and be a doer. Join the conversation & leave your comment.

Recommended reading = James 1.

I love our community and I look forward to more awesome interactions with you all in the coming year!

Happy New Year!

Art

Simple Guidelines For Making Great Decisions In 2016!

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Jeff Walker in his book Launch said that in a workshop that he was hosting, an attendee came up and asked him what was the one thing that made all the difference to him and his business success. The thing this man should be focusing on as his business grew. Jeff ‘s answer was this – Opportunity Cost.

Opportunity cost is a theory in Micro-economics.

www.netmba.com defines it this way – The value of the next best choice, that must be given up when making a decision.

www.wikipedia.com defines it this way – The value of the best alternative foregone, where a choice needs to be made between several mutually exclusive alternatives given limited resources.

Opportunity Cost image card

When I was a teenager, I started learning to play guitar. I used to lay in bed imagining myself playing my favorite songs in front of large audiences. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s ever had rock-star dreams. The thing is, I also liked hanging out with friends and I was getting interested in girls. While I did learn quite a bit about playing guitar, I knew several guys in my school who could play far better than I could. Why? Because they didn’t spend the majority of their time hanging out with their friends. When they had spare time, they were sitting on the edge of their bed practicing scales. Here is where we find the Opportunity Cost. There has to be a trade off.

We all have the same amount of time every week. We all get 168 hours to work with. While we would like to be awesome at everything we pursue, we simply can’t. We humans develop excellence through study & practice, so we can’t realistically expect to be stellar in every area of our lives. We need to make choices as to what we are going to give our time to because for everything we say yes to, we have to say no to something else. You will be saying no to opportunities in order to say yes to (hopefully) better opportunities.

“The chief cause of failure & unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”  -Zig Ziglar

One of my favorite Zig Ziglar quotes is: “The chief cause of failure & unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now”. Isn’t that sad? We sometimes short circuit our own long-term success because we run off after vain, short-term satisfaction.

Another favorite Zig Ziglar quote is “Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.” Let’s take that to heart and take the time as we enter the new year to build a plan. Set a goal to make the life we dream of, a reality. As we make our plans, here are some things to consider:

  1. Look through the corners; Another thing I learned from Jeff Walker. If you only focus on what’s immediately in front of you, things will “suddenly” pop up in your field of vision and you will not be able to react in time. Make it a practice to look around the turns & see what’s coming before it gets here. Also, consider how your actions will affect your future. Wisdom sees down the road.
  2. The value of a good reputation is immeasurable.  Therefore, sacrificing a good reputation is not acceptable. When considering Opportunity cost, saying no to a solid, honorable reputation in order to achieve short-term gain is not worth the trade-off. Above money or power, your reputation will work for you, or against you. Protect it constantly.
  3. Money should be a byproduct of making the world a better place. When we focus on enriching the lives of those around us, we stand a better chance of finding happiness and fulfillment in our own lives. There’s a book by Marsha Sinetar called Do what you love and the money will follow. I believe this to be true unless your love is sleep. I haven’t seen anyone making a long term living at that one yet. I will say this though. There are now people making a living playing video games on youtube. No joke. The bottom line is that when money is at the top of the priority list, things are on shaky ground.

“Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.” – Zig Ziglar

As we stand here staring square in the face of 2016, let’s examine not only our goals for the coming year and beyond, but also the opportunity cost to make them happen. If we carefully choose only the few truly important things we want this coming year, we can use these to guide our decisions about all the other things. The things that while eating up all of our time, don’t really get us where we want to be. Let’s get where we want to be in 2016! Let’s be strategic with our “Yes & No”. Say NO to good opportunities so you can say YES to great ones!

Happy New Year!

A Father’s Heart to His Daughters.

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I thought long and hard about what to write today. I decided to write this post for my two daughters. As my youngest turns 21, my thoughts turn to the past. I was reminiscing about some of the fun times we’ve all had over the years and I also remember many times where we would just talk.  These “Talks” would often just happen and sometimes last for hours.  It wasn’t anything that was planned, they would usually bring up something that they saw or that had happened to them and it would be the start of a great conversation. Often we would talk about what was right and how to move forward.  I was able to instill into them some of the truths that I have come to know.  My girls would laugh because I would be in “teacher” mode and wouldn’t even realize it.

Hands & flowers

As their father, I don’t want to be there for them for the rest of my life, I want to be there for them for the rest of their lives. This isn’t likely to be the way things play out though, so – I wrote this post.

Ladies. As you’ve grown up you’ve had my voice in your ears and sometimes echoing in your head when I wasn’t around, giving you instruction, encouragement & correction. I decided that what I really wanted to write was something that could help you. Something from me that could help you be strong and encourage you. Something that you could go back to from me that would be here beyond me.

I’m not perfect but you already know that. Nonetheless, I have always tried to be the best example I could be. I am relentless in trying to make my words and my actions match. I have always wanted you to see in me, a living example of the things I’ve been teaching you. What I believe, I believe whole heartedly. I am convinced that I have found things in life that are worth passing on to you and I refuse to let you find your own way without telling you what I have already learned. I pray always that you have the ears to hear them and the strength of character to let them work in you too.

I want you to know above all else, how much I love you. I also want you to know that my love for you is unconditional and not based on your performance. Most of your choices are excellent and I can see wisdom working in you. A few of your choices have not always made me proud, but I believe in your right to make them. I have found also that many of the things you have done that I would not have done if it were up to me, ended up being right. It proves once again that I don’t know everything.

I have told you this before and I mean it. When everyone else has left you twisting in the wind, as long as I’m here, I will be the one standing behind you helping you. Together we will dig you out of whatever hole you find yourself in. I am always on your side and I will always help you.

I want you to know that I think you are pretty. You got your looks from your mom (thank the Lord).

I want you to see that your physical beauty is only a small part of who you are. The truth about physical beauty is that it’s fleeting. It doesn’t ultimately matter how many blouses, purses, or shoes you have. Eventually you will be putting them on an old person. Don’t build your identity on your beauty because it WILL change and then where will you be? Proverbs 11:22 says “A ring of gold in the nose of a sow – a fair woman and stubborn of behavior” (YLT). In the BBE (Bible in basic English) translation it reads “Like a ring of gold in the nose of a pig, is a beautiful woman who has no sense”. As you can see, the really important stuff about being attractive doesn’t come from the outside. The true quality of a person comes from the inside. Yes, a gold ring is pretty, just make sure everything behind it is awesome too.  This brings me to the next point.

I want you to understand that you not only can, but need to walk in personal discipline. Truthfully, most people don’t really care how you feel. They care about what you do. It’s your actions in life that will be rewarded and/or punished. Think about it. From your earliest school years all the way up to your job today, reward and punishment are based on your performance. What you do. This is important because you need to understand the power of your will. You can choose to act contrary to how you feel. Remember Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane? He didn’t want to go forward. When He said “Nevertheless, not my will but your will be done”, there were two wills at work there and they were NOT the same. He decided to submit Himself to His Father’s will. By doing that He illustrated for us that our will is FAR stronger than our feelings. We can choose to put on a smile and go forward with our day. We can be pleasant and friendly when inside, we don’t feel like it. We can be helpful and kind when inside, we may want to smack people. We can stand by faith when we feel like falling.  Author and speaker Andy Andrews says it like this “Self discipline is the ability to make yourself do something you don’t necessarily want to do, to get a result you would really like to have.”

Acting appropriately when you don’t want to will open you up to more and better opportunities than will be given to those who are lazy, selfish and have an attitude of entitlement. Keep that in mind because no one who ever accomplished anything significant did it by themselves. You will need the favor, guidance and the help of those who have gone ahead of you.

Above all, remember that the value of a thing is based on what someone is willing to pay for it. The Bible says in Leviticus 17:11 that the life of the body is in the blood. That means that the very life of God the son, was shed & spent to purchase you. To redeem or “buy you back” to God and out from under the curse that came from man’s first disobedience. This means that you are immeasurably valuable to God. He loves you, wants the best for you, has designed a wonderful path for you and has given you His Spirit to empower you to live it.

I also want you to remember that you stand in His circle.  Circumstance = the circle you stand in.  You have both been made the Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.  Because of this right standing with God, you are standing in Jesus’ circle.  His circumstance is that of victor!  He’s given His victory to you!

As I write, I realize that I can’t even scratch the surface. There are many paragraphs that I have removed from this post to keep it reasonably sized. There are also some subjects that need their own post. We can’t give them the attention they require in this post.

Often I pray specifically for you two that you will have the wisdom, understanding & patience to walk your walk. I pray this according to Col 1:9-11.

A special Happy Birthday to my baby girl.  21 today!

I love you both with all my heart.

Dad