Category Archives: Temptation

Does your vision have pulling power?

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It’s right about now that the passion many of us have for our new year’s resolutions begin to fade. If you’re like a lot of people I know, you’ve already run into plenty of reasons to quit. You may have already given up on your goal for 2016. We start with good intentions but when the reality of our goal begins to fill our windshield, we can get discouraged and quit. Michael Hyatt calls this part of the process “The Messy Middle”. The part where there aren’t very many rewards but all the work still has to get done. This may be where you are in the pursuit of your goals. I want to take a minute to encourage you.

I started 2011 weighing in at more than 200 lbs. For my height that was too much. My healthy weight window is between 170 & 185. What really got me though was when I saw pictures from one of our family reunions. It was in the middle of the summer and we were at a lake. I saw myself in those pictures and did not like what I saw. It was my wake up call.

Girl on road in fog

It’s not that hard to start doing things we know we should do. We all do that on a regular basis. The true difficulty is in finding the will to keep doing them when you really don’t want them bad enough to keep going. Often the drive to stop is greater than the drive to keep moving forward. Our desire for a long term benefit is over-ridden by the desire for a short term benefit. Most of the time, the short term benefit is not what we really want. Then we get mad at ourselves.

I know me. I have not always been a fan of pushing my body to higher performance. When I got serious about my fitness journey, I took a hard look at me. I knew there would be days when I would be weak. I knew that these are the times that I would fall if I didn’t have help.

I tried to do what Jeff Walker calls “looking through the corners”. I intentionally looked down the road to see what was coming. I would then build my situation while I was strong so that it could carry me when I was weak. If you are prone to quit under certain conditions, you need to either strengthen yourself or remove the conditions.

More important than engineering your situation is to have a vision of your destination. We can never become anything that we can’t see ourselves becoming. Proverbs 29:18 says that where there is no vision, the people perish. Clarity is so important when it comes to motivation. Having a clear vision will help us keep motivated and passionate about our goals.

Daniel Harkavy says that your goals & plans need to have pulling power. They have to mean enough to you that you are pulled forward by them. We see this in Genesis when God tells Abraham to look up at the stars. In light of His illustration to Abraham, the words “So shall your seed be” has tremendous pulling power. Abraham didn’t faint at the promise even though it took years before he saw the realization of it.

Ask the Lord for wisdom concerning this. He will give you the help you need. Quite a bit of the book of Hebrews is about dealing with and resisting the temptation to quit. For the Hebrew church, the temptation was to draw back from following Christ. Consider this passage from Hebrews 12 in the Easy to Read translation.

Heb 12:2 Having our eyes fixed on Jesus, the guide and end of our faith, who went through the pains of the cross, not caring for the shame, because of the joy which was before him, and who has now taken his place at the right hand of God’s seat of power.

Heb 12:3 Give thought to him who has undergone so much of the hate of sinners against himself, so that you may not be tired and feeble of purpose.

 

What a good way to say that. So that you may not be tired and feeble of purpose.  As of this morning, I weigh 179 lbs.  I have been able to reach and maintain a healthy weight because of the pulling power of a clear vision, and anticipating my weakness and while I’m strong, doing what I can to make those weak moments easier.

So – Have you grown tired and feeble of purpose? Have you allowed the weights, sin or distractions of life to rob you of your vision? Begin this week to think on your reasons why you are doing what you are doing. I know that when I stay connected to my “Why”, I can usually find the motivation to step up and stay focused.  Let the joy of your “why” become the pulling power to draw you through the hard parts so that you can be victorious.

If this has helped you, please consider sharing. Also, please leave a comment. I draw encouragement from your comments.

I appreciate you all.

Art

If you can slow down and do this, you can avoid a future full of regret.

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In his anger he shouts “I don’t (cuss)ing care what you say! You need to get off of my back and stop trying to run my (cuss)ing life! You need to fix your own mess before you try to fix me!” In exasperation John picks up his coat and storms out of the house. He only hesitates long enough to slam the door on his way out, leaving his mom standing in the middle of the living room crying. “She won’t let up.” He thought as he stomped off the porch steps. John’s mom had been pushing him to get a job. She really wanted him to enroll in community college but he said he wanted a break first before he rolled into the “Real World”.

John had been staying in his room gaming for weeks now and hadn’t done anything except eat, hang out with his friends & borrow money since graduating from high school four months ago. She wanted more for him and she expected more from him. So she pushed him. She didn’t want to be a nag but she really wanted to see some forward motion. That brings us to this moment. The moment John is walking down his street thinking about how he had just exploded a few minutes ago and said all those hurtful things to his mom.

His mom had been single for many years now and had been raising him on her own. She was committed to doing her absolute best to raise her son up to be a good man. She often wondered and feared that her best might not be enough. She had recently had her own relationship go bad and she was still getting over that. She had no idea that John would use that to hurt her, but he did…just now.

As John walked, his conscience began to bother him. He knew he had gone too far. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t know why he said it. He was just mad and lost control. He was sorry but was unsure what to do next and he didn’t know how to make it right. Now shame was beginning to creep in. He began to tear up. “Why do I have to be such a jerk!” He said out loud in an anger that was now aimed at himself.

Few things can compare to knowing what to do.

 

We’ve all done what John did. We’ve been in situations where we have allowed the pressure to build until we’ve just “blasted off”, vented our anger, said mean things and hurt people we care about. We would probably also all agree that while we as individuals are not necessarily mean people, we just get caught up in the moment and react badly.

To be sure, even as I write this, I still deal with the temptation to think and say the wrong thing because of the heightened stress of a situation. I caught myself just this last week letting something slip out of my mouth and then quickly having to try to recover and minimize the damage because of my poor reaction to pressure.

This matters because we’ve all said or done things that we regret and wish we could change. If a person can get this, they can live with no regrets.  So what’s to be done?

Prov 21:3 says – Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.  The World English Bible (WEB) says it this way – Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles.

To guard or to keep imply that you are watching for because you are expecting trouble.  When it comes to our mouths, this could not be more true.

James the Apostle said – For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. The New Living Translation (NLT) says it this way – Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

The bottom line is that we are the ones responsible for our words.  We are to make sure our words don’t offend or hurt.  Some have said “God, Why did you let me say that?” – but we should not be asking God to do something that He has told us to do.  He will help, strengthen and empower you but it’s you who must do the doing.

Set your standards before the moment so you don’t waiver in the moment.  This one truth has helped me so much in this area.  I try to run all things that happen in my life through the filter of the Word of God and if I can, I want to establish my thinking in advance.  One definition I’ve heard for Wisdom is “The skillful use of knowledge.”  In the 24th chapter of the book of Proverbs, the writer talks about the field & garden of the foolish & lazy.  He says in verse 32 “I saw and considered it well: I looked on it and received instruction.”  That’s the take-away.  Consideration.  If we will establish in advance how we will act when the heat is on, then it eliminates all the choices we might have to make when the heat is on.  Can you see the truth here?

I heard a story many years ago about a man who was called to testify in court against the man he worked for.  He was told that if he lied and protected his boss, he would be richly rewarded.  When the time came for this man to testify, he simply told the truth.  His teenage son talked to him about it later and commented that it must have been a tough choice to make with the possibility of all that money hanging in front of him.  The dad simply told his son that the choice wasn’t tough at all because he had made it many years ago when he decided that he wouldn’t tell lies.

Consider in advance and set your standards before the moment, so you won’t waiver in the moment.

If this post has helped you this week, I would ask you to please share it with those you know who it might also help.  I really appreciate your support in helping me reach those who can benefit.

Have a most excellent week!

Art

Five Steps You Can Take To Safeguard Yourself Against Online Porn.

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Several years ago we started a subscription to a popular satellite T.V. network.  Included in our initial subscription were a couple of premium channels.  They were a value added bonus for signing up that we would later need to start paying for if we wanted to keep them.  The night our subscription began, I sat down and started flipping through the channels only to discover that we had ALL the channels.  From what I could gather, apparently the satellite company had to install a block in order to keep the subscriber from receiving certain channels and they had not done that yet.  I began surfing through all the new stuff.  You don’t want to settle on anything until you have seen everything that’s available.  You don’t want to start something you would probably enjoy only to find out that you missed something that you might have enjoyed more.  As I was surfing along, I started running across channels I did not need to see.  I’m a man.  Men are visually stimulated when it comes to sex.  There are a lot of things that I can see and it might not ever register in my mind that I saw it.  There are other things that I can see for just a millisecond and I am consciously aware immediately that I saw it.  The naked female form is one of those.

Be Faithful computer graphic image card

As I was bouncing through the channels, I ran across several in a row that “Snagged” my attention.  I got up, went to my wife, handed her the remote and told her to put a parental block on everything that was rated R and above, and that she was to be the only one who could unblock any program.  If I needed to see something, I would come get her to unblock that program.  We needed to keep that block on the TV for a few days because it took that long for the satellite company to block those channels.  That did two things.  It removed access and created oversight.  I know that for the most part I probably would have been fine, but I am not deceived.  I also know that I get tired and I would be a fool to think that I would not be tempted.  The simple answer was to create accountability.  There were a couple of times before the satellite company put the blocks in place that I had to go ask my wife to unblock a show, but by doing this, she was made aware of what I was watching and could question any of the programs.

While the Internet is a truly remarkable tool, It is also shark infested water.  While there are those out there who don’t see the harm in pornography, in reality, it corrupts our thinking toward the opposite sex and is actively destroying marriages all over the world.

In order to break free and stay free of the traps of pornography in this digital age, you have to first and foremost want to be free.  If you don’t really want to, or don’t really see the need, then any measure that someone else tries to force on you will not be successful.  However, If you’re serious about it, here are some practical, actionable steps that you can take.

  1. Remove internet access from your home. While this may seem a little drastic, it’s really a matter of how serious you are and whether or not you have help at home.  Accountability really helps in this fight but if you live alone you may need to restrict your internet access to the public library.
  2. Get the computer out in the open.  There was a time that I set my laptop on an end table in our living room and that was the primary place I would use it.  This gave me automatic oversight because everyone else frequented that room, and no one could do anything questionable on that computer with out running high risk of being caught.  I also did it so that my wife could see that I was serious about oversight and that I was willfully submitting to her accountability.  It also gave an example to my daughters of a dad who was practicing what he preached.
  3. Have a “Barge In” policy.  We have an office in our house.  It’s a converted bedroom.  This is where the desktop computer is.  It’s the most powerful computer in the house so I use it for stuff that’s heavy on graphics like video editing.  I have always told my wife and daughters that if I’m in the computer room with the door closed, they have the right to enter without knocking.  I want that for me and for them.
  4. No Net after Nine.  I heard a statistic in Bible school that most men are tempted to view pornography between the hours of 10 & midnight.  If you have struggled with this and seem to fall over and over again, make a rule for yourself that you will not get online after 9 p.m.   It’s much easier to avoid the temptation if you don’t go near a computer.
  5. Get an accountability buddy.  Ask the Lord to lead you concerning this.  It’s important that this person be someone you can truly trust.  Someone who is available and will help you with out judging or condemning you.  In order for this to be effective, you must make a solid decision to be honest with them.  It’s really pointless without honesty.

As you can see, the problem is not really the internet.  The real problem is isolation.  The enemy is always more affective in any temptation when he can get someone isolated and away from accountability and positive influences.  Just remember. Real freedom comes from a change of heart, not just a change of habit.  When porn is kept secret, it’s being protected.  Only when your heart is right and you really want to be rid of it will you make the choice to drag it into the light, become accountable and submit yourself to oversight.

If your serious, God can help.  Ask Him to show you what you need to see and to teach you what you need to know.  He will.  He’s faithful!  If you’re not sure about where you stand with God, I’ve created a pdf explaining all that God has done to reach you and how He has given you open access to Himself.  You can download that PDF by clicking here.  I’ve also created a short video to explain what to do and walk you through the process.  You can access that video by clicking here.

To learn more and to get additional help with porn addiction, please check out the sites below.

http://www.xxxchurch.com/

http://www.covenanteyes.com/

http://www.fredstoeker.com/

I just want to take a minute and thank each of you who reads and participates in my blog.  I appreciate you all more than you know.

I have struggled recently to post consistently because of my job demanding so much time.  After prayerful consideration, I have decided to change my primary post day to Monday.  I have found that I have more time to prepare quality content and get more engagement when I have posted at the beginning of the week instead of the beginning of the weekend.

I would ask you again to share this if it has been helpful and if you think it could help someone else.

Possess Your Vessel Like A Boss!

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Holy Spirit's Instruction - Wood textureMany have realized that having a relationship with God is right and they want to do what’s right, but they struggle living a life that is pleasing to God. They fail to see the truth concerning their own salvation. The purpose behind it and the will of God concerning them. They struggle in the low life of trying to resist sin on a carnal level which means by sheer willpower. Battling the wrongful desires of the body strictly in the carnal, natural realm will lead to frustration as you are beaten over and over again. Not that many people have the natural willpower to stand up to a strong pull of the flesh for very long in any area, let alone in every area. If you have not made Jesus the Lord of your life, then this is the realm that you live in and without Christ, you have no expectation to do any better.

Scripture says in Ephesians 2:12 (KJV) That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world.

If you do have a relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, you have a different set of circumstances. The scripture below is written to Christians. People who have received Jesus as their Lord and submitted themselves to Him.

1 Thessalonians 4:1 (KJV) –  Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.

Receiving the teaching of Paul will allow you to please God. This means by faith. Scripture says in Hebrews 11:6 (KJV) But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.   Also, it shows that if you will please God, obstacles and hindrances will be removed that would slow or stop your progress allowing you to abound more and more. Hebrews 12:1a (KJV) says “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us…”  When you walk as you ought and please God, you will be seeing Him manifest in your life more and more which means increasing in the things of God. Increasing in influence, abundance, anointing, spiritual gifts, effectiveness and usefulness to the Father. Greater manifestations of God in your life and family will begin to happen.

1Th 4:2 For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus.  3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:   4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;   5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:   6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.  7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.   8 He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.

Paul in his writing to the Church at Thessalonica wrote in chapter 4 of the 1st epistle, 1Th 4:4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; Paul is speaking to the CHURCH at Thessalonica. He’s talking to Christians. Those who have believed on Jesus as their Lord and have submitted themselves to His will. He’s NOT speaking to those who have not confessed Jesus as their Lord.

He’s telling them that EVERY ONE of them should know how to possess his (or her) vessel in sanctification and honor. This is something that every Christian in the Thessalonian church should know how to do. This reflects what God expects from His church as a whole. EVERY ONE. We should all know how to possess our vessel in sanctification and honor.

When I look at the word “possess” in the Greek, the definition speaks specifically of – acquire (by any means; own): – obtain, possess, provide, purchase. The word in the definition that sticks out to me is the word “Own”. The one who owns something is the one in charge. In other words, being in control of, or being the boss of.  Then looking at the definition for “Vessel” in the Greek, the words used are vessel, implement, equipment or apparatus. Paul is telling the Church at Thessalonica that they need to own and be the boss of their equipment and not let their equipment be the boss of them.  Believers should not be letting their flesh run their lives!

The one who owns something is the one in charge. In other words, being in control of, or being the boss of.

Paul’s thought is continued in the next verse. “1Th 4:5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”  The word Concupiscence means to desire what is forbidden. Lust = Strong longing.   The people who don’t KNOW God have given themselves to desire and longing for forbidden things. The difference maker in this situation then is God himself. Those who know Him can possess their vessel in sanctification and honor but those who don’t know Him can’t, and probably don’t want to.

1Th 4:7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. 8 He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his Holy Spirit.

The word “despiseth” used here is a little vague. In the Greek it means to set aside, dis-esteem or to neutralize. It’s actually exactly the opposite of honor.  Paul is warning them that to set aside and to ignore God is to neutralize His power in your life. They have the ability to stop the power of God by not valuing it.  Despise here means to lightly esteem and dishonor God. That is what we do when we intentionally set aside what we know to do in order to yield to the strong pull of our body.

Verse 8b. But God, who has also given unto us His Holy Spirit.  There He is – the difference maker. The indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit is what strengthened Jesus when He struggled in the garden of Gethsemane. The Holy Spirit is the difference maker. Jesus called Him the Comforter.   In his book “Home, a short history of an idea”, Author, Witold Rybczynski says:

“The word “Comfortable” did not originally refer to enjoyment or contentment.  It’s Latin root was confortare – to strengthen or console – and this remained its meaning for centuries.  We use it this way when we say “He was a comfort to his mother in her old age.”  It was in this sense that it was used in theology: the “Comforter” was the Holy Spirit.”  

One of the primary things that the Holy Spirit does in the life of the believer is to strengthen and console them.  Equipping them to overcome.  Please understand that the Holy Spirit has never gotten involved in anyone’s situation – ever – where there was not way more than enough power for them to completely overcome.  There is no situation that is so big that His power is not enough and FAR SURPASSING.  Don’t take Him lightly and by so doing, actually neutralize His power in your life.   Jesus said in John 14 that the Holy Spirit will lead and guide the believer into all the truth.  He can show you exactly what you need to see in order to give you the motivation to overcome.  He will not do this though if the believer ignores and sets aside the things that He reveals.  Jesus said in Matthew chapter 7 that we can actually take away the effectiveness of the Word of God by simply believing a tradition of men instead of God’s promises.  We limit the Holy Spirit’s ability to work in our lives when we set aside and value lightly His instructions.

Real help is found in walking in the light that you have.  Many people have already heard enough, They just haven’t been a doer of what they know.

This is a little long but we’ll unhook here and pick this up later.  If this has helped you at all and you think it can help someone else, please share it.  Also, Please join the conversation and leave a comment.

Four Things You Should Know About Temptation.

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I was recently encouraged by some dear friends to address the issue that men face concerning pornography.  I haven’t said much about it directly mainly because I was not sure how strong I wanted to be about it.  In the last ten days or so, I have been studying and reading quite a few statistics.  Covenant eyes recently released a report containing a lot of statistics about online pornography.  64% of Christian men view online pornography at least once a month.  15% of Christian women view pornography at least once a month.  To me, this is alarming.  While I think there are many Christians that are concerned for the direction of their country and are praying for their country, I think this may be hindering the prayers.

2Ch 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

We all face temptation in some form or another. It comes to every single one of us. Even Jesus faced temptation.  Now when any temptation shows up, it tells us a few things.

  1. The first is that we are dealing with something that we know is wrong and we know that we shouldn’t eat it, say it, do it or view it. The word Tempt comes from a Latin word that means “to try” as in “to be put on trial”. That tells us that the temptation doesn’t originate inside. It starts when you are put on trial. Think on that for a minute because it means that you are being baited from the outside.
  2. The second thing it tells us is that there’s something in us that wants to go forward into it, otherwise it wouldn’t be a temptation. There’s something on the inside of you that is attracted to the temptation. Now I want to stress something here. There are some people, who would look at a man being tempted to view pornography and condemn him for the temptation itself, but I have to stress this, temptation is not sin. It isn’t right for anyone to be persecuted or punished just because they are tempted. The Bible is very clear that even Jesus was tempted. The Bible says in Hebrews 4:15 that Jesus can understand and feel our weaknesses because He was tempted in ALL POINTS like as we are. It finishes the verse though by saying that He is yet without sin. That means that temptation is not a sin. Sin only happens when we yield to the temptation. When we “Enter” into it. It’s the yielding to it that’s the sin. Being tempted doesn’t mean you have failed or that you are a bad person.
    Dealing with what’s inside.
    External rules and restrictions may stop the manifestation of the problem but will not address the real issue. The real issue is a heart issue and a man doesn’t necessarily need pornography to sin. The sad truth is that our society offers a variety of visual triggers that can send a man’s imagination down the wrong path. That’s why the real change will need to come from inside. With the decision to change and the continual maintenance of the thought life – (See Rom 12:1-2). A person will find it a whole lot easier to resist when they are continually renewing their mind with the Word of God.
  3. There is a third thing that the presence of temptation tells us.  1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us: There is no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tested above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it. That means that you are not alone in being tempted.  In fact, what you are experiencing is common to mankind.  There are boatloads of men who are dealing with the same thing.
  4. God didn’t intend for you to bear up under the temptation. He intended for you to escape it.  Think about Joseph for a minute.  Potiphar’s wife was hot for him and day after day she was throwing herself at him and day after day he refused.  One day he went in to the house to do business and everyone was gone but her.  She really put the pressure on him that day.  She grabbed him and began to really press him to have sex with her.  Joseph knew that at that moment, it was not time to set down on the edge of the bed and talk this thing out.  He RAN, and she held on to his coat, so he ran out of it and left it behind.
    When temptation comes, it’s important to not allow yourself to be deceived into thinking that you are stronger than you really are.  If you think this way, you will fall over and over and over again.  You have got to have an honest and humble estimation of yourself and realize that in order to stand, you sometimes need to flee.
    God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tested above what you are able. Many people do not believe this. They think that the temptation that they experience is an irresistible temptation. That can not be true. To say that is to say that God is not faithful.  This level of ability to resist and escape is not the same for every person though. Not everyone can resist and escape the same level of temptation.  Because of that, God does not allow certain temptations to come on certain people. He knows that they do not have the capacity to resist it.  That tells us something very important. If you are facing a temptation, it’s because you ARE ABLE to handle it, resist it, and escape it. God will not allow a temptation to come to you that would cause you to immediately cave under and fall. If a temptation shows up on your doorstep, it’s because God knows that you are mature enough to face it and win! You have inside you the grace that it takes to be victorious. That’s why when we fall, we are without excuse. Sadly though, too many people aren’t used to resisting at all when temptation comes. It’s not the standard operating procedure for most of us, but the simple truth is that really walking by faith is a walk of continually denying the flesh what it wants.  The flesh wants to freak out when things go wrong, or when you’ve stumbled, but walking by faith means “Holding fast to the profession of your faith without wavering, for He is faithful that promised” Heb 10:23.  When you need that profession of faith in your mouth the most is when you’ve fallen.

There is a lot to say about this and I want to talk in the coming weeks about practical ways to stand & not fall when it comes to temptation.  Let’s just consider this the beginning of the conversation.  I would love to hear your thoughts about this topic.  Please join the conversation & leave a comment.  Also, consider sharing this post if you found it helpful and know someone else who might be helped by it also.