What is Honor?

What does it mean to be honored? I did a google search for images of honor and several images were found of the U.S. President placing a medal around the neck of a soldier. We celebrated Memorial Day recently where we honor the memory of our fallen soldiers. A large part of the observance of Memorial Day is to show honor by decorating their tombs and grave sites, and showing reverence for their sacrifice. It would seem then that honor has something to do with medals & decorations.

Monuments cropped

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While we do show honor through medals & decorations, in most cases, what we are really honoring is an act. Usually an act of courage, valor, or bravery. Acts come from the inside of people. Consistent acts reveal what is in the heart in abundance. It is in times of long service, or service under high distress and danger that a person’s true character is revealed. It is in moments like these, when some people rise up to a level of true greatness, revealing qualities of exceptional leadership, bravery or self sacrifice. In the act of honoring, we are acknowledging in them a high quality that we revere and value. We are ornamenting a person because they have made a significant impact for good to those around them. They have made a difference.

When we look to scripture, we see in Malachi 1:6 God the Father is asking a question of the priests. He says “A son honors his father, and a servant honors his master. So if I am a father, where is my honor? If I am a master, where is my respect? You priests who despise my name.”

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to
succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.”
― Abraham Lincoln

In this scripture we see both sides of honor. God says “If I am and Father and a Master, where’s my honor?” Implying that God expected to be honored and respected. The farther implication is that God expects that parents and masters (employers) are to be honored and respected also. (Ex 20:12. Eph 6:1-3. Col 3:22. 1 Pet 2:18).

Recently I saw a picture on social media of a man with his Bible on his knee and his hand wresting on it. In his hand was a lit cigar. I don’t remember what his caption said, but it was something like “this is church this morning”. This man’s father is a well respected minister with international influence. This man’s wife is also a minister working hard to grow her influence.

One of my first thoughts when I saw the picture was “Did his dad teach at home what he was teaching publicly?” Here’s why I’m bringing this up. This young man has what appears to be a successful business in town. At least in part, the success of the business is because his dad leveraged his own influence to help his son get launched. Many of the people who are following this young man on social media are doing so because of his father. Many of the people who saw that picture follow his father and whether people will admit it or not, this picture struck a blow against his father’s credibility. I will not say that it ruined it because his dad is a fine, upstanding man. I will say though, that it caused questions to be asked that would not have even been thought before the picture was posted. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The beginning of honor is to not cause shame (see The Road To Honor) .

Hypothetically, what if someone were considering asking this man’s wife to minister in their church, but decided against it because of this photo? I am not this man’s conscience. I am not his judge. My points here are based completely on the topic of honor and the apparent thoughtlessness of his actions.

“The most tragic thing in the world is a man of genius who is not a man of honor.”
― George Bernard Shaw

What is honor? Honor is to value as heavy. In the old days when barter and trade would happen, weights and scales were used to determine the value of things. Heavy usually meant better. Even in quality, heavy usually meant better built with more sturdy materials. When something was heavy, it was considered to be worth more. To honor is defined as value as heavy, Showing deference. A good name or public reputation. A showing of merited respect. High worth, and as a verb, a gesture of deference (bow).

The root word in Hebrew literally means: To cause to shine, to glorify or to add luster. This is the definition that I think of when I think of honor. When I think about my relationship with God, my parents & my leaders, I understand that I always need to be reverentially respectful toward them and to always live my life in a way that causes them to shine. I live to add luster to them. This is honor – and as you can see, honor comes from living from what they put into you. This is why poor choices bring dishonor and shame to them.

For me, the clearest example of honor was found in my paternal grandmother. She and my grandpa had been together for many years and raised nine children. When he passed away, she had a large photo of him framed and placed prominently on the wall in her living room. One Sunday afternoon when I stopped by for a visit, she confided in me that sometimes, when she was alone, she would talk to him. She also told me that she kissed that picture at night before she went to bed. This illustrates honor so clearly to me because of the way she honors his memory. She was showing how much she loved him and how heavily she valued him.

Honor is lacking in our world today. People hear the word and don’t understand what it really means. Because of this, they can’t do it and are suffering because of it. In the next few weeks, I want to go deeper into it and talk more about what it is, but also who we are to honor and what the benefits are because we walk in honor.

Understanding that to honor is to value, take some time this week to examine your life? Are you honoring those you should be honoring? Are you walking worthy of it yourself? Join the discussion by leaving a comment.

I appreciate you all!

Art

***Quotes above were found at:
http://www.goodreads.com

 

Becoming A Better Man.

The driving force that is Dad.

Many of you know that my parents divorced when I was ten. After that, my dad just stepped away from all of us. From that time to this, I’ve only seen him once for a couple of weeks at the end of 1985. It seems that when my dad divorced my mom, he also divorced the children he had with her. I can’t fully articulate how I felt from being rejected by him.

One of my psychology professors once said that Love and Hate are very closely related. Many think they are opposites but that’s not true. They are both powerful emotions that come from relationships. The opposite of either is I Don’t Care. When relationships break up, whether they be marriages, long term dating relationships, or parent & child relationships, it’s the thought of “I no longer care” coming from a place where “I love you” used to come from that wounds the heart over and over again.

Man hat backward silhouette

It’s the thought of “I no longer care” coming from a place where “I love you” used to come from that wounds the heart.

For the next seven years, I had a pretty rough time. I was hurt, I was angry, I was brokenhearted, I was lost, I had big trust issues & big authority issues. I was betrayed, rejected and left twisting in the breeze by one of the two people I trusted most in the world. I did what I see a lot of young men doing today, I turned my hurt into anger.

For years I asked the question “What did I do?” Part of the reason I was struggling so much was that I couldn’t figure out what I had done to cause him to step away from me. Through my teens I learned how to party. As I look back now, I see that my party lifestyle was because I was looking for acceptance.  I got it to a degree from the people I hung with. I hung with those because they gave me a place to belong. I wasn’t myself when I was with my friends – it wasn’t safe to be myself with them. They were a rough bunch of guys, but the way I looked at it, at least I had friends.

As I grew up, I began to really resent my Dad. I determined that I was going to be a better man than he was. I turned my anger and resentment into fuel. The more I thought about him, the more I determined that I was going to be better in every way. I was going to become a great guy and he was not going to be able to take credit for it. I would be self made.

It wasn’t until after I recommitted my life to the Lord that I began to see the problem with my thinking. I was walking in bitterness and unforgiveness. Bitterness is bondage and it was keeping me from enjoying my life. The unforgiveness in my heart was actually keeping me from receiving forgiveness. It was also causing me to hold on to my hurt & torment myself with it. Not only that, but if there was ever going to be an opportunity to reconcile, unforgiveness would not allow it to happen.

The Lord began to work in my heart concerning my dad. It started when I began to see how much God loved me. When this understanding came, It changed everything. God loves me. Wow! When I would read in Romans 8:31 & 32 I would begin to tear up. It says :

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

I began to see that my Heavenly Father loved me. Fear began to fall away from me because I finally found my place. The place where I am accepted and received in Christ Jesus. I began to operate from a different place. Not a place of fear and self-centeredness where my eyes were always on me. I was no longer constantly thinking about how bad I had it. My mind wasn’t always on how much of a victim I was. I had a new point of view. I began to understand that God was for me. I now began to see everything from a position of strength. I was a son of God and He was for me. I didn’t have much to offer Him in return. I just wanted Him to be pleased with me in all my ways.

Being a better man starts with being a good son.

It didn’t take too long for me to understand that God wanted me to honor my dad. He wanted me to walk in love toward my dad. My Heavenly Father wanted me to be an even better man than I had attempted to become in my anger. God wants me to be a good son. Being a better man starts with being a good son.  That day I began a journey to be all the son I could be. I’m still on this journey but the Lord has put it on my heart to share my journey because there are so many who have a similar story. Many who don’t have a strong relationship with either their dad or mom and it torments them. It’s not God’s will or plan for us to be tormented. He’s helped me grow in wonderful ways and has put it on my heart to help others.

I can help you.

We can move forward together.