Category Archives: Choices

Getting past a big mistake

By | | , , ,
Leave a comment

Jacob had twelve sons.  Two of his sons, Simeon and Levi, were full brothers, meaning they had the same mother.  Their full sister, Dinah, went out into the local city to see all the local girls.  If she was anything like the some of the girls I know, she wanted to see what they were wearing.  While she was out surveying the fashions and styles of the region, One of the princes of the land saw her and was smitten.  She was “taken” by the prince of the country.  His name was Shechem.  The scripture gives the inference that she might have been raped by him.  The sons of Jacob heard about it and blew a gasket.  So they made a deceitful deal with Shechem’s father.  They said the prince could marry Dinah, and that Jacob’s sons would be open to inter-marry the locals.  The locals wanted this for economic reasons.  The only hitch was that all the local men in their city would need to be circumcised.  The men of the city agreed because Jacob had wealth and they wanted access to it.  Three days after the mass circumcision, while all the men were painfully incapacitated and unable to move, Simeon and Levi went in, killed every single man, and spoiled the city.  You can read it in Gen 34.

When Jacob found out about it he said (Gen 34:30)  “You have troubled me, to make me stink among those living in the land, among the Canaanites, and among the Perizzites. And I being few in number, and they gathering against me, they will strike me, and I and my house shall be wasted”. But Simeon and Levi were unrepentant.  They said “Should he treat our sister like a harlot?”

I think the Lord’s response in chapter 35 illustrates how serious this became.  The Lord immediately told Jacob to move to Bethel and build an altar to God there. The Bible says that as Jacob moved his family, the terror of God came on the cities all around them so that the men of the cities didn’t pursue them as they went.

I’m not trying to minimize what happened to the Dinah, but any action to be taken should have come from Jacob.  It was not the place of Simeon or Levi to decide how this situation should have been handled.  The entire family was affected by the result. They were all put in jeopardy.

That brings us to Gen 49:1, where Jacob is calling his sons to his bedside to bless them, here he begins to tell them of their future.  When he gets to Simeon and Levi, he declares “Instruments of cruelty are in their habitations.  O my soul, come not into their secret; unto their assembly, my spirit, be not united: for in their anger they slew a man and in their self-will they dug down a wall.  Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel”.

In the very first post I wrote on this blog, I wrote about the beginning of honor.  You can read the post here.  The point of that post is that to truly honor your mom, dad and family, you must first determine to not cause them shame.  It seems that the older we get, the greater the cost becomes to remain a fool.  A teen boy can can get himself into so much trouble that the consequences could last for years.  I can think of at least three occasions where my stupid actions brought the police to our house.  Remembering my days as a young man, when I think back on the times I got into real trouble, it seemed like each time, things just “suddenly” went wrong.  While my friends and I were always goofing off and pushing the boundaries, each time we got into real trouble, it seemed like a “suddenly”.  We just suddenly knew that we had gone too far.

Unfortunately, these “suddenly” episodes didn’t have a “suddenly” resolution.  We couldn’t get out of trouble as quickly as we got into it.  The consequences in my case were hard, but could have been so much worse and took quite a long time to get through.  In some cases, it took years to pay the price for being stupid.  Some people will pay for the rest of their lives for mistakes made when they were young.  Some are no longer with us because their consequences were immediate and final.

My brother and I were talking about these things the other day and the thing that kept coming up in my heart was that God can turn things around.  These things don’t have to become a life sentence.  Even with Simeon and Levi, later we see Balak trying to get Balaam to curse Israel, but all he can do is bless them.  This includes Simeon and Levi.  Balaam says I can’t curse what God has blessed.  Later we find that Simeon received his inheritance out of the inheritance of Judah, because Judah’s inheritance was too great for just him.  We also see that the Lord made Himself the inheritance of Levi and commanded the other tribes to give Levi cities in each of their inheritances.

The point I’m making is that, the mistake they made was a big deal.  It cost the family and the Lord had to step in and give Jacob specific direction to deal with it, but it wasn’t the end.  They still had a future filled with hope.

There are a couple of points here worth noticing.

First – What the sons of Jacob did cost them down the road.  We can see from Jacob’s declaration over them that they were scattered in Jacob.

Second – It wasn’t over for them just because they blew it.  While what they did cost them, they were still blessed, and they still received a part in the inheritance, and the promises God made them.

Third – Almighty God cared enough to get involved.  He led and protected Jacob while He brought him to a safe place.  This included Simeon and Levi.

Sometimes people can get themselves into messes so bad, that it takes all the faith they have to get out of it.  This is the reason God gives us standards to live by.  It’s when people harden themselves against God that they get into trouble.  We know from the story of Job that God puts a hedge of protection around His people.  The problem is that when we harden our heart against obeying God, we take ourselves out from under His protection.

The first piece of advice I would give you is this – Don’t disobey.  It’s through obedience that things go the best possible way they CAN go. The second piece of advice is – I’ve you’ve messed up, repent!  Repent means turn around.  Stop going down that path.  If you will humble yourself before God and turn away from your rebellion and hardness, His grace will begin to flow into your situation.  His grace includes His power, His favor, His equipping, and His calling.  God will get involved in your situation and lead you.  Then, keep doing what you know to do.  Don’t stray from the path you know, and keep the switch of faith turned on. Don’t stop believing.  When it comes to trouble – If you follow Him, submit to Him, allow Him to lead you, and obey every time, the promise is that “a thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come nigh you.  Only with your eyes will you behold the reward of the wicked” (Ps 91:7-8).

 

 

How to get clarity & direction.

By | | , , , ,
Leave a comment

For many years I struggled with knowing what to do.  I usually ended up drifting. I would make the best choice of the opportunities that would float by me, but I had no idea what the future held.  I just hoped that it would be good and sometimes worried that it wouldn’t be.  Yes, I said worried.

Today I don’t believe in worry.  Worry is a form of fear, and fear is the opposite of faith.  We know by scripture that faith comes from hearing God’s Word continually.  I now know that when I’m tempted to worry now, I need more exposure to God’s promises.

I took some time off from Blogging this last month to spend some extra time praying and getting clarity regarding direction in 2017.  I put some of the things I’ve been thinking about in this video.  I pray you find it helpful.

So – Are you with me?  I would really like to hear from you.  What are you focusing on for the coming year?

If this video helps you at all, please share.

I sure do appreciate you all.

Art

Decisions & deceptions. How we make choices.

By | | , ,
Leave a comment

The fact that there are so many people who report to have and enjoy a real, sincere relationship with God should at least be reason to have an open mind. For His existence to be so lightly considered and so easily dismissed seems to be unusually closed minded. I have heard people who profess no believe in God, compare the early church gospel writers to “near Cro-magnon men”. This argument is meant to belittle Christians and try to strike at the credibility of the writers of the Bible. The problem is that this statement actually reveals a very strong bias and prejudice, and isn’t scientific at all.

Man on mountain at dawn

When science and Christianity don’t seem to fit together, it doesn’t mean one is true and the other is not, it just means there’s more there to know and there’s a hole in our understanding. What these gaps in our collective understanding mean to me is simple. It just means we don’t know yet.

Most people would agree that there is a spiritual realm and that people have a connection to it. The problem materialistic thinkers have with spiritual things is that they can’t readily be measured. When we find that something can be perceived but we can’t figure out how to measure or quantify it, denying it exists is a huge leap. What we begin to see is something Chip & Dan Heath discuss in their book Decisive call Confirmation Bias.

Confirmation Bias is the way we deceive ourselves. Confirmation Bias is when we form a quick belief about something and then seek information and evidence to bolster what we already believe. I may make a poor choice and then afterwards try to build a case for why it was the right choice. I’m trying to justify my position. This is Confirmation Bias.

I may choose one of my team members to help me with a special project. I choose this person because I like them and we just click. They may be poorly suited to do what I need them to do but I didn’t choose them on that basis. Even if I made a Pro’s & Con’s list, it would be slanted by the bias I have already built in.

A CEO has an idea that will change the direction of the company, he believes it is the right move and he needs to convince the board that it’s the right move so he starts compiling data, but his data comes back nearly evenly split for and against the change in direction. What data will be used when talking to the board? The data that supports the idea. The data against the move may be minimized or even ignored totally. It may all appear very scientific but in reality, the bias was added early in the recipe.

Dan Lovallo says “People go out & collect data and they don’t realize they’re cooking the books”. We think we want truth but what we really want is reassurance. Do these jeans make me look fat? A lot of our questions don’t crave an honest answer.

What do you think? Have you noticed yourself falling for confirmation bias? Join the conversation & leave a comment.

Has your past defined your future?

By | | , ,
Leave a comment

What do you think of when you hear the word Authentic?

One show that I watch on a fairly regular basis is The Antiques Roadshow. On that show they talk a lot about authenticity. They often use the word Provenance.

While authenticity means real, or genuine, provenance means a record of ownership used as a guide to authenticity or quality. Provenance is a traceable past, and it can often determine the value of an antique.

20160724_170709

Michael Flanigan, a Baltimore dealer of antique American furniture, says “Provenance separates the special, almost sacred objects of the past from the ordinary ones.” On the PBS website, Michael describes provenance as an object’s “itinerary through time.”

In 1997 while the Antiques Roadshow was in San Francisco, a woman brought in a gold presentation cane that was given to a man named Enoch Gerdst by his fellow citizens of Stockton, CA on October 25, 1855. The cane was finely decorated and well documented. In addition to having this provenance, it was also well documented that the wooden part of this cane was made from wood taken from Independence Hall in Philadelphia after a remodel. The highly engraved metal cap of the cane was made from the bell that rang to signify the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The history was all there and documented.

Now I don’t know anything about the value of your average cane, so I googled pricing to find that you can get a pretty decent cane made of metal and wood online for about $70. We don’t know where that cane online came from. It’s one of thousands and it’s provenance is either unknown or unimportant. In contrast, the cane given to Enoch Gerdst is worth $30,000 today. (Read More here)

While authenticity and provenance are great ways to determine the value of objects, they seem to be terrible ways to determine the value of men.  When we use history to determine the potential of a young man, we may be putting limits on him that under neutral circumstances, he could easily surpass.

I’ve written before about how there are people from my past, who look down on anyone with my last name.  Or my former co-worker who, it seems, will forever see me as a 19 year old with a bad attitude.  (Read post here).

What’s even worse than the sentence that comes from without is the one that comes from within.  Many young people can’t see themselves ever being worth very much because their provenance is abuse, a broken home, or a missing father.

I remember being there. As a young man, I remember fighting for respect and spending so much time trying to craft an image that people would like.  I was just sure that if I didn’t work hard to get respect, that no value, respect or care would come. I felt like most people didn’t think I was worth anything.  Compared to the guys I went to school with, who’s dads owned their own businesses or were executives, I felt like I had no advantage.  I felt stuck.  There was nothing significant or special about me.

I learned that I didn’t have to be stuck!  I discovered that I was valued.  I learned that God loved me.  I learned that He wanted a relationship with me and wanted to help me. Jer 29:11 says – I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. (Gods Word Translation).

It all began with a choice on my part.  (Find out more here).  An amazing thing happened when I did that.  God made me part of His family.  He changed my provenance.  I am now authentically accepted in the beloved.  He has become my Father and I have become His son.  I know the price that was paid for me.  Jesus laid down His very life.  I know, know, know that I have value and worth.

You don’t have to let your past determine your worth either.  You can make a change.  Just click this link to find out more.  (Find out more here).

 

Does the “Who” change the quality or level of Love from YOU?

By | | , ,
Leave a comment

Matthew 5:43-48 New International Version (NIV)

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.’
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Back of Girls Staring into distance

Have you ever witnessed someone receiving special treatment because of who they are? Maybe the pretty girl buying popcorn at the movies didn’t pay full price.  All because the young man behind the counter was trying to get her attention.  When we think of special treatment, we almost always think of it in a positive way. It’s not always the case. I remember hearing a story about a boy riding the school bus, who was beat up by some other boys just because of his last name. He was certainly receiving specific and different treatment, but it wasn’t good.

People with disabilities receive special treatment to accommodate their handicap.  We change the height of toilets, sinks & put in ramps for wheelchairs. Sometimes they’re also treated differently out of sympathy. Those without disability may look at them sadly as if to say “You poor thing”.  I don’t think most people with disabilities like that. There’s a great TEDtalk about it here.

In the movie The King’s Speech, Lionel Logue insisted on an equal relationship with King George VI when they were working together. When Prince Albert became King, he became known as George the VI.  His full name was Albert Frederick Arthur George. While he was prince, he went by Albert.  Lionel called him Bertie. He even went as far as to say, “My castle, my rules”. Lionel knew that in order for him to be able to really help, When they were working, Albert needed to be a student. Lionel realized that Their sessions together needed to be based on who he was, not on the fact that his student was royalty.

As believers, we too, need to make it a point to treat others based upon who we are, not who they are. In the verses above, Jesus points out how that in the world, the natural tendency is to respond to each other based upon who the other person is. Is he an enemy? Is she a friend? Is he rich? Is he or poor? Is she pretty?

All these things come into play when people are navigating through social interaction in this world. Not so with the church. Jesus said “Love your enemies & pray for those that persecute you”. We do this because we are children of God. Not for gain. Not to impress, or to exert influence, but because God commands it and it’s in us to do.

God loved us when we were His enemies. His love was made clear to us when we were opposing Him. God commends His love toward us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8)

If you are a child of God, the Love of God has been shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Spirit which has been given to you (Rom 5:5). This means that the Love of God is on the inside of every believer.  We just need to begin to mature in it.

Some might say “I really love God! He an I are tight! It’s just all those creepy people I have to deal with…I can hardly stand them.” Sorry – It doesn’t work that way. If you love Him, the main way it is shown is by loving people. Especially your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Even though the Love of God be in you, It needs to be perfected. In other words, you still need to develop in it. We need to allow it to grow in us and dominate our thinking , speaking and actions. You can have this love in you and completely ignore it. You can quench it. You can yield to your temper and feelings instead – when all the while, the Love of God is on the inside endeavoring to influence you. It’s up to us what we let influence us. The Love of God or our carnal feelings, desires & emotions.

So – we as Christians are to be governed by the Love of God inside us and let it flow out of us to those around us. We shouldn’t operate out of prejudice, favoritism, or selfishness. Rather, we can be resources and examples of God’s love in our daily life and make a real difference for others.

I want to encourage you today to yield to God’s Love. It may be hard if you’re not used to submitting to it. The more you develop in it, the easier it will come.

How can you put this into practice this week?  Is there a specific person you can intentionally love?

Join the conversation & leave a comment.

Art

You have no choice? Really?

By | | , , ,
1 Comment

I have noticed a problem plaguing young men today.  Many of them seem to be perpetual victims. They are suffering under some unseen hand that is keeping them down. They don’t know why but they just don’t ever seem to get a break. I know where they are coming from because I had that problem too.  I seemingly had no advantage. I wasn’t born into privilege or opportunity. I didn’t have a last name that opened doors for me and for a long time, I used these things as my excuses for why I wasn’t going anywhere.  All these reasons were not really my problem though. They were not where my limits were coming from.

I have no choice-Lie

Part of my problem was that I was a captive in my thinking and consequently in my saying.  Constantly saying things like It’s not my fault and I Can’t or What choice do I have? I am convinced today more than ever though, that I have no choice is a lie!

Pro 6:2  you are snared with the words of your mouth, you are taken with the words of your mouth. (Modern King James Version -MKJV).

Sure, today you may not have the choice to move to the neighborhood that you really want to live in, or drive the car you really want to drive, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have that choice in your future. Here’s where we find a fork in the road.

Path number one is the path of continuing down the road you are on.  You are making only choices that drift in front of you, and hoping that someday an opportunity will float into your life. An opportunity that will change your life for the better in a big way.  This is wish mentality. Wish mentality leaves choice and opportunity in the hands of outside influences so that you are basically the victim of whatever comes along.

Path number two is the path of living on purpose. You may not have the power to make some choices today. But living on purpose, you can make intentional choices today that will create excellent choices in your future. You determine where you want to be, or are called to be, in your future. From there you begin to make strategic decisions that will take you there.

“Living on purpose, you can make intentional choices today that will create excellent choices in your future.”

I have chosen path number two.  Because I am a man of faith, getting vision & direction for my life start with prayer. The Bible says “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Prov 3:5,6).  While I will do research & get as informed as I can with my options, I lean to my heart when it comes to making decisions. If you have a relationship with the Lord Jesus, it is in your heart that He will lead you.

Proverbs 3:5,6  Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (KJV)

Thank God, I am not where I used to be. I am no longer a victim, left to the whims of a life I have no control over. I can’t control everything, but I will control all that I can control and I will continue to make a future where good choices and opportunities show up in my life.

It was a choice that was mine alone to make. So it is with you. You don’t have to leave your life to just HAPPEN on it’s own. You also don’t have to turn over the reins to your life and let others take you where they want you to go. This is probably not where you would want to go anyway.

In order to get where YOU want to go, this path choice is a decision that only YOU can make. Truthfully, you and God are the ones who care the most, and have a vested interest in how your future unfolds.  Are you ready to take control of your life?

What’s one choice you can make this week to start you in the direction you want to go?  Share your answer in the comments.

For more content on choices, see Ruth Chang’s TED Talk entitled “How to make hard choices” by clicking here.  It’s about 14 minutes long but pretty well done.

Please share this post with others & help me expand the reach of this blog.

I appreciate you!