Does the “Who” change the quality or level of Love from YOU?

Matthew 5:43-48 New International Version (NIV)

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.’
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Back of Girls Staring into distance

Have you ever witnessed someone receiving special treatment because of who they are? Maybe the pretty girl buying popcorn at the movies didn’t pay full price.  All because the young man behind the counter was trying to get her attention.  When we think of special treatment, we almost always think of it in a positive way. It’s not always the case. I remember hearing a story about a boy riding the school bus, who was beat up by some other boys just because of his last name. He was certainly receiving specific and different treatment, but it wasn’t good.

People with disabilities receive special treatment to accommodate their handicap.  We change the height of toilets, sinks & put in ramps for wheelchairs. Sometimes they’re also treated differently out of sympathy. Those without disability may look at them sadly as if to say “You poor thing”.  I don’t think most people with disabilities like that. There’s a great TEDtalk about it here.

In the movie The King’s Speech, Lionel Logue insisted on an equal relationship with King George VI when they were working together. When Prince Albert became King, he became known as George the VI.  His full name was Albert Frederick Arthur George. While he was prince, he went by Albert.  Lionel called him Bertie. He even went as far as to say, “My castle, my rules”. Lionel knew that in order for him to be able to really help, When they were working, Albert needed to be a student. Lionel realized that Their sessions together needed to be based on who he was, not on the fact that his student was royalty.

As believers, we too, need to make it a point to treat others based upon who we are, not who they are. In the verses above, Jesus points out how that in the world, the natural tendency is to respond to each other based upon who the other person is. Is he an enemy? Is she a friend? Is he rich? Is he or poor? Is she pretty?

All these things come into play when people are navigating through social interaction in this world. Not so with the church. Jesus said “Love your enemies & pray for those that persecute you”. We do this because we are children of God. Not for gain. Not to impress, or to exert influence, but because God commands it and it’s in us to do.

God loved us when we were His enemies. His love was made clear to us when we were opposing Him. God commends His love toward us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8)

If you are a child of God, the Love of God has been shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Spirit which has been given to you (Rom 5:5). This means that the Love of God is on the inside of every believer.  We just need to begin to mature in it.

Some might say “I really love God! He an I are tight! It’s just all those creepy people I have to deal with…I can hardly stand them.” Sorry – It doesn’t work that way. If you love Him, the main way it is shown is by loving people. Especially your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Even though the Love of God be in you, It needs to be perfected. In other words, you still need to develop in it. We need to allow it to grow in us and dominate our thinking , speaking and actions. You can have this love in you and completely ignore it. You can quench it. You can yield to your temper and feelings instead – when all the while, the Love of God is on the inside endeavoring to influence you. It’s up to us what we let influence us. The Love of God or our carnal feelings, desires & emotions.

So – we as Christians are to be governed by the Love of God inside us and let it flow out of us to those around us. We shouldn’t operate out of prejudice, favoritism, or selfishness. Rather, we can be resources and examples of God’s love in our daily life and make a real difference for others.

I want to encourage you today to yield to God’s Love. It may be hard if you’re not used to submitting to it. The more you develop in it, the easier it will come.

How can you put this into practice this week?  Is there a specific person you can intentionally love?

Join the conversation & leave a comment.

Art

Three Tips For Not Hating Your Workout.

It was a hot summer evening in a little town called Green Rock. All of us neighborhood kids were locked in a world class squirt gun battle that took place over about 3 hours and 6 different back yards. There were about 9 or 10 of us and there were no teams. It was truly every man for themselves. Elimination could come from anywhere! I remember running as hard as I could and leaping behind a dog house to take cover. I worked my way around my house to end up hiding beside my own front porch. I remember this because all this time, my head is dripping with sweat and my temples are pounding with each heartbeat. Was I in pain? Yes! Was I having the time of my life? Again-Yes!

I bring this up because I finished 2011 weighing in at more than 200 lbs. For my height that was too much. My healthy weight window is between 170 & 185. What really got me though was when I saw pictures from one of our family reunions. It was in the middle of the summer and we were at a lake. I saw myself in those pictures and did not like what I saw. It was my wake up call.

Badge photo from 2011

Badge photo from 2011

In December of 2011 we talked about buyout our own elliptical machine as our Christmas present to each other. While we were considering this and checking out different machines, a local fitness center ran a deal where you could join for $10/month. We went on a walk through and looked at all the available equipment. We decided that rather than buy an elliptical, we would just rent several for $10/month.

I had a slow start. The truth is that I didn’t like pushing my body. My body didn’t seem to like it either. I compare it to drilling with a dull bit. It’s hard, noisy, generates a lot of heat and yielded slow progress. I began to understand that if I was going to get there, I needed to stay with it. I made an agreement with myself. I would show up. My total commitment was -Just walk in the door. If at that point I turn around and go home, I kept my commitment. I knew that once there, I would work out because there was nothing else to do but that. I just wanted to make sure that I liked it enough to keep it up.

I would walk on a treadmill for 15 minutes and then do the elliptical for 15 minutes because I was trying figure out how I could get the best results, and I was trying not to get bored.

One day, a friend of mine from Bible school was there and we ended up next to each other on the elliptical machines. We began to talk and the next thing I knew, an hour had gone by and I didn’t even notice it. Not only that, but I had burned an amazing amount of calories and had gone more than 6 miles. As I was thinking about this, I remembered that epic squirt gun battle we had when I was in the fourth grade.

This brought me to the conclusion that my body will do what it’s told. The problem is with my mind. When my mind was distracted by a good conversation, or even play, my body would just carry on doing what it was told to do. My goal became clear. I needed to find a way to mentally make friends with the workout.

  1. The first thing I needed to do was set my goal. I wanted to lose 30 lbs. Then I began to work backwards from the goal. What did I need to do in order to reach it. That would depend on when I wanted to reach it. Then – how can I break this into manageable chunks? I decided that a pound a week was a good metric. I figured I could do that and not end up hating it.
  2. I have come to really like running on the elliptical machine. Mainly because I can do it with my eyes closed. It’s easier to daydream and distract yourself with your eyes closed. With the elliptical, you are hanging on with your hands. Running on a treadmill becomes awkward when you are trying to run and hang on at the same time. It’s important to be able to hang on when you are running with your eyes closed so you don’t get vertigo, lose your balance and invade the personal space of the person running next to you.

    Recent photo at the gym

    Last week at the gym

  3. I am also a big fan of the right playlist. I have a playlist on my phone that’s just called “Running”. I have chosen those songs based on tempo and energy. I find that I don’t actually listen to the songs as much as I just use them as a rhythm to keep up with my pace.  I also sometimes like to listen to good Bible messages and audio books.

Using just these few hacks have made the difference in me staying with it and ultimately begin enjoying my time at the gym.  There are many other things to consider when trying to get healthy and lose weight.  This post is mostly focused on ways to not hate the work-out.

What sorts of things do you do to keep yourself moving forward?  Join the conversation by leaving a comment.

Does your vision have pulling power?

It’s right about now that the passion many of us have for our new year’s resolutions begin to fade. If you’re like a lot of people I know, you’ve already run into plenty of reasons to quit. You may have already given up on your goal for 2016. We start with good intentions but when the reality of our goal begins to fill our windshield, we can get discouraged and quit. Michael Hyatt calls this part of the process “The Messy Middle”. The part where there aren’t very many rewards but all the work still has to get done. This may be where you are in the pursuit of your goals. I want to take a minute to encourage you.

I started 2011 weighing in at more than 200 lbs. For my height that was too much. My healthy weight window is between 170 & 185. What really got me though was when I saw pictures from one of our family reunions. It was in the middle of the summer and we were at a lake. I saw myself in those pictures and did not like what I saw. It was my wake up call.

Girl on road in fog

It’s not that hard to start doing things we know we should do. We all do that on a regular basis. The true difficulty is in finding the will to keep doing them when you really don’t want them bad enough to keep going. Often the drive to stop is greater than the drive to keep moving forward. Our desire for a long term benefit is over-ridden by the desire for a short term benefit. Most of the time, the short term benefit is not what we really want. Then we get mad at ourselves.

I know me. I have not always been a fan of pushing my body to higher performance. When I got serious about my fitness journey, I took a hard look at me. I knew there would be days when I would be weak. I knew that these are the times that I would fall if I didn’t have help.

I tried to do what Jeff Walker calls “looking through the corners”. I intentionally looked down the road to see what was coming. I would then build my situation while I was strong so that it could carry me when I was weak. If you are prone to quit under certain conditions, you need to either strengthen yourself or remove the conditions.

More important than engineering your situation is to have a vision of your destination. We can never become anything that we can’t see ourselves becoming. Proverbs 29:18 says that where there is no vision, the people perish. Clarity is so important when it comes to motivation. Having a clear vision will help us keep motivated and passionate about our goals.

Daniel Harkavy says that your goals & plans need to have pulling power. They have to mean enough to you that you are pulled forward by them. We see this in Genesis when God tells Abraham to look up at the stars. In light of His illustration to Abraham, the words “So shall your seed be” has tremendous pulling power. Abraham didn’t faint at the promise even though it took years before he saw the realization of it.

Ask the Lord for wisdom concerning this. He will give you the help you need. Quite a bit of the book of Hebrews is about dealing with and resisting the temptation to quit. For the Hebrew church, the temptation was to draw back from following Christ. Consider this passage from Hebrews 12 in the Easy to Read translation.

Heb 12:2 Having our eyes fixed on Jesus, the guide and end of our faith, who went through the pains of the cross, not caring for the shame, because of the joy which was before him, and who has now taken his place at the right hand of God’s seat of power.

Heb 12:3 Give thought to him who has undergone so much of the hate of sinners against himself, so that you may not be tired and feeble of purpose.

 

What a good way to say that. So that you may not be tired and feeble of purpose.  As of this morning, I weigh 179 lbs.  I have been able to reach and maintain a healthy weight because of the pulling power of a clear vision, and anticipating my weakness and while I’m strong, doing what I can to make those weak moments easier.

So – Have you grown tired and feeble of purpose? Have you allowed the weights, sin or distractions of life to rob you of your vision? Begin this week to think on your reasons why you are doing what you are doing. I know that when I stay connected to my “Why”, I can usually find the motivation to step up and stay focused.  Let the joy of your “why” become the pulling power to draw you through the hard parts so that you can be victorious.

If this has helped you, please consider sharing. Also, please leave a comment. I draw encouragement from your comments.

I appreciate you all.

Art

How To Actually Reach Your Goals!

Why does this matter to people? This breaks accomplishing goals into small incremental steps that help keep them organized and help give them clarity.

There are a great many resources for setting goals available to anyone with internet access. I have included three links at the bottom of this post that I have found very helpful. Each has a lot of useful information about goal setting.

Notes & phone on desk

Peter Drucker in his Management by Objectives philosophy created the mnemonic acronym S.M.A.R.T. for goal setting. It has been so widely used and circulated as a useful goal setting guide that you may already be familiar with it. The acronym is as follows:

S = Specific

M = Measurable

A = Attainable

R = Realistic

T = Time Related

We could talk about each of these at length but they are thoroughly covered in some of the links to great resources provided below.

One of the best books I read in 2015 is a book called Born To Win by Zig Ziglar. In this book Zig lays out 7 steps for setting goals and I have found them very useful. I don’t know if Zig Ziglar was the first one to write these down but his book is where I found them. I have found them to be very useful and when they are followed closely, they greatly improve the chances that you can reach your goal. Here’s a brief summary.

  1. Identify your goal. It’s important here while you’re identifying your goal to be specific. Your vision and dreams becomes much sharper when you are specific. Let’s say that you want to buy a new car. The car you choose will determine how much money you will need. The brand may be important as we know that some brands have a reputation for being durable while others don’t hold their value very well over time. Also, determining things like color, interior upholstery and number of cup holders may also enhance or limit your enjoyment of the car. It’s important to be specific in order to give yourself clear guidelines for the rest of the process.
  2. List the benefits. This is where you make it personal. How will this make YOUR life better. Continuing with the illustration of the car; If your old car has proven to be pretty unreliable and has left you stranded more than once, you know what it feels like. Imagine the comfort that will come from having a car you can depend on. Also, think of taking those trips in your new car and using the new bluetooth, syncing your favorite playlists on your phone to your new car stereo & not having to keep finding stations or changing cds. Listing the benefits will keep you energized to push through when things get tough.
  3. List the obstacles to be overcome. Some serious thought here can pay off big time. While you can’t always anticipate every obstacle, list each one you can think of. Once you have developed this list, you can then work toward solutions for each obstacle.
  4. List the skills & knowledge required. These are things that depending on your goal, you can either develop on your own or buy the skill by hiring someone.
  5. Identify the people or groups to work with. This can include potential mentors and also trade groups & clubs. In the illustration of the car, this may be choosing a credit union over a bank or investigating which finance company to use.
  6. Develop a plan of action. Very often we are held back because we don’t understand the inner workings of our problems and obstacles. This is the time to come up with an executable plan that will guide you toward your goal.
  7. Set a deadline for achievement. A deadline will help you to stay motivated. It will also help you to break down your action plan into organized steps that you can create a schedule around. This will help you stay organized and on track.

What I appreciate about these goal setting tools is that when thoroughly thought through and followed, they remove so much of the guess work in reaching our goals.

What goals have you set for the coming year? Join the conversation & share your number one goal for 2016 in the comments.

Additional resources:

https://michaelhyatt.com/goal-setting.html

https://www.mindtools.com/page6.html

http://qz.com/160701/the-complete-guide-to-setting-goals/

Motivation. The off-road tire for the muddy road of life.

In the last post I talked about getting stuck. Getting stuck is no fun. We’ve probably all been there. For some reason, we are unable to move forward creatively. Often we identify this as being stuck in a rut. We are doing the same things again and again and it seems that the song of our life only has one note. When you are stuck and unable for whatever reason to move forward, it often creates pressure. Self-imposed pressure to perform, or outside pressure to meet a deadline. Either way, if not dealt with, pressure can lead to anxiety.

I wrote that, at least for me, there were two main areas where I have been continually challenged. I have to take intentional action in these areas or I will find myself standing still instead of moving forward to pursue my goals. The first one is time. Ever since I decided to do important things with my life and be all of the influence I can be, I have also had difficulty with time management. I wrote last week about steps that I’ve taken to better manage my time.

Female hiker on mountain

Image courtesy of StockSnap.io

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.   –Thomas A. Edison

The second area I mentioned was my struggle to stay motivated. What I was facing with motivation was simple. I was having difficulty mentally disengaging from all of the other demanding things in my life in order to engage in the things I am passionate about. Because of this, when I would have some time to work on blog posts or website content, I would sit down and just stare at the computer. Emotionally I would be like a flat glass of soda. Absolutely no fizz. I am very passionate about what the Lord has put on my heart to do with this blog and website. I can see a little bit of what the Lord intends for it. When I spend time thinking about this, I get pretty stoked. When I’m in that frame of mind, I have no trouble coming up with things I want to do and what to write about. But because of the daily distractions, I would sit down to write and be mentally disengaged and emotionally cold. I couldn’t flip the switch & quickly turn on the passion. The weekend would come and I would spend a lot of time thinking about the things that are important to me. I would then start getting fired up again. Often though, it seemed that I wasted a lot of time stirring myself up that I could have been using to create quality content. More self-imposed pressure.

Motivation is defined as The act or process of providing a reason to do something. I would put my own emphasis on the words DO something. Motivation is what causes motion. It’s the why that causes us to act. Motivation is the off-road tire for the muddy road of life.  When we start to feel high drag and heavy resistance trying to climb out of a rut and move forward, it’s the motivation that gives us the traction to keep moving. People would announce to Zig Ziglar that they didn’t believe in that “motivation stuff” and would complain that motivation didn’t work because it didn’t last. It faded, and over time people would lose their zeal. Zig would respond with the statement that Bathing doesn’t last forever either but we didn’t give up on that. That’s why he recommended both motivation and bathing daily.

So how do we stay motivated? How can we keep the switch turned on? I found that I need to expose myself to the right things – constantly!  I need to be seeing, reading & hearing the right things in order to keep my focus. In the Bible, God told the prophet Habakkuk to “write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that reads it”.  (Habakkuk 2:2).  To stay motivated, I need to keep the vision ever before my eyes.  I find a lot of help in not only who but what I listen to.  I like to listen to people who exhibit the kind of character that helps keep me stirred up.  I don’t listen to just anyone.  There are certain things I am looking for.

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
― Lou Holtz

  1. Look for Enthusiasm. One of the things I have noticed about me is that I like being around enthusiastic people. I often find my own level of enthusiasm rising when I’m around others who have high enthusiasm. This is one important thing I’ve learned over the years. Seek out peers & friends that have enthusiasm in what they are doing. I like hanging around & growing with people who are going somewhere to do something. They are focused and goal oriented. They are looking for a place to “Happen”. Galatians 4:18 says that it is good to be zealously affected always in a good thing.
  2. Look for a Positive Outlook. Henry Ford was quoted as saying “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” Recently I heard someone say that we all fail, so what we need to do is to fail fast so that we can get it out of the -way. Then start again and use the lessons of our failure. This is healthy thinking. Philippians 4:8-9 tell us that whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of a good report, virtuous or praise worthy, we are to think on these things.
  3. Look for Determination. Negative people look for the failure and use it as an excuse to quit. Many years ago I was driving east on interstate 74 Champagne, IL. Suddenly all traffic came to a near stop as the Illinois State troopers diverted everyone off of the interstate. It turned out that there was a overturned semi tractor & trailer laying all the way across east bound 74 and it was literally impassable. The state troopers ran us through a detour that put us on State highway 150 for a little while and then we went back onto 74 and away we went. I tell that story because too many times, people will allow difficulty and setbacks tell them that they are on the wrong path. Sometimes these people will cast away their vision and abandon their goals. They say things like “What’s the use?” We shouldn’t let difficulty and failure determine whether or not we accomplish our goals. What if I had hit that traffic detour and threw up my hands, turned the car around and went back home? I wouldn’t have arrived at my intended destination. I wouldn’t have accomplished my goal and I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy my mother in law’s cooking. Failure and difficulty may force us to change our path to get there, but they should never keep us from going. Don’t quit!

You may not know too many people who possess these traits but don’t let that hinder you. I get a lot of my insight and encouragement from podcasts. There are some really good podcast out there and they help me stay stirred up. If you have an iphone, you can use itunes to get your podcasts.  There is a free app in the Google Playstore called Stitcher that works similar to Itunes for android phones. This is what I use to get my podcasts. I look for people who are enthusiastic, positive and determined. People with a “can do” attitude who are making things happen. Here are a few podcasts that I listen to regularly. You can also access them on the web by clicking the links.

This is your life – Michael Hyatt

Eventual millionaire – Jaime tardy

The Portfolio Life – Jeff Goins

The EntreLeadership podcast – Ramsey Solutions, hosted by Ken Coleman.

You can go to https://www.stitcher.com/ to learn more about Stitcher.

How do you stay motivated to reach your goals?  I would love to hear from you.  Please share by leaving a comment.

These Five Things Will Unlock Your Greatness At Work.

After nearly a year of working very hard to keep up with an ever-growing workload in my department, I was able to hire a new estimator.  We are all very glad to have her.  We know she is going to be an excellent addition to our department.  I began the search for our new person quite a while ago, and while going through resumes I began to give serious thought to not only what we wanted, but what we had to have in our new associate.  We wanted someone good.  That sounds over-simplified when I say it like that but it made me think in terms of my own employment history.  In my experience, what makes a good employee?

office imageI am amazed at what a small team of dedicated people can accomplish when they are all pulling in the same direction and when they all have a real passion for what they are doing.  I have had the privilege of being part of a small start-up company many years ago.  There were just a few of us.  I remember times of being at work for 31 hours straight.  Those first days I remember climbing over unpacked pallets of supplies trying to find the things I needed to accomplish the job.  The general mindset was that we could do it! We could make it work, but that if it was going to work and be successful, it was because we made it work.  These were challenging, rewarding & fun days (and nights) at work.  The air was just thick with purpose and everyone was breathing it.

What usually happens as a company grows is that in order to be efficient and profitable, standard operating procedures will be implemented.  These will help to streamline and unify the way everyone does their job so that the company can yield consistent results.  This is very important.  Great reputation and corporate good will are built on the foundation of quality and consistency.

Associates that find themselves in larger companies might find it harder to find the passion in what they do.  When your job consists of putting these nine nuts on those nine bolts before the piece moves to the next assembly line station, you may find it hard to get excited about your contribution or think that what you are doing matters.  As a result, you may find yourself just showing up, and just putting in the minimum effort to keep your job. You may be just enduring your work, barely able to make it to quitting time everyday and Sunday night is the worst time of your entire week.  It can be very challenging.  Let me just say this – a good job is always worth doing.

Bobby Unser
Desire! That’s the one secret of every man’s career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire.

A good leader will try to build a vision into their associates and to communicate the big picture. Letting them see why their job is important, but you don’t have to wait for someone else.  You can stir yourself up and take steps to improve your situation now, on your own.

These things will help you connect with your purpose and become great at your job.

  1. Consider the end.  Who are you helping?  When I spend time thinking about some of our clients and why they are coming to us in the first place, it helps me find my purpose.  I believe in the work that some of our clients are doing. I can get my heart behind it.  Find a reason to get your heart behind what you do, then you will be self motivated.
  2. Solve problems.  One of the most important things my supervisors have looked for over the years is that they want employees that are problem solvers.  Let me clarify.  The reason I’m there in the first place is because they have a problem.  They have more of this specific work to do than they can do. I was hired to help solve that problem.  I can solve that problem at the minimum expectation or I can really invest myself and be remarkable and look for other problems to solve too.
  3. Don’t create problems.  I have yet to meet someone in the work place who has never made a mistake.  This isn’t what I’m talking about.  There are some associates that I have observed over the years that have personality traits that have consistently resulted in problems.  Norwood Bishop was the instructor for a class I took in Bible School called People Skills.  One of the things he said that stuck with me was that 99% of people that are hired are hired because of their ability to do the job or their ability to be trained.  85% of those people that are fired from the same job were fired because they couldn’t get along with people they worked with.
  4. Be correctable.  People who can’t take correction are arrogant and full of pride.  I have seen people defend behavior that they knew was wrong because they couldn’t admit that they were wrong.  Have you ever met anyone who was more interested in being right than in keeping friends?  I think we all have.  Being teachable goes a long way toward also giving you favor.  People like to help the humble. You don’t know it all and will not be right every time.  Be open to being corrected.  Think about it.  Correction means improvement.  You will be better because of it.
  5. Be Faithful.  Proverbs 25:19 says “Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint”.  Think about what that’s saying!  Have you ever had a sprained ankle or a broken bone in your foot?  You have two feet but one of them is totally useless.  It can’t hold any of the weight that you need for it to hold.  It slows you down in every way.  You can’t even put your pants on normally.  You have to move slowly around the trouble area.  A broken or abscessed tooth is the same way. You have a tooth but it can’t do any of the tooth duties that you need it to do.  It would be better not to have a sore tooth at all than to have one there and to cause massive discomfort in your whole mouth by using it.  This is what an unfaithful associate is like.  In some cases, it would be better if they weren’t there.  At least you would not be trusting them and then get left twisting in the wind.  Have you ever received help that actually became a “Do Over”?  There are some people who help best when they help somewhere else.

This is not a complete list.  These are just things that I have noticed in my years in the workforce that I have personally tried to build into myself and they have served me well.  I promise you.  If you incorporate these 5 things into your life, it will pay off for you in the long run and you’ll be happier and a better ambassador for Christ on the job. You will be the employee known for your spirit of excellence.

Dale Carnegie
Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.

What things do you value in the people you work with?  What things have you brought to your job that make you great?  Please join the conversation & leave a comment.

If this has been helpful and you think it can help someone else, please share it.