Where do I go from here?

Look at me!

Here I am, standing alone in the dark.

How did I get here?

What went wrong?

My whole life…Poof!

When we met I was young. We dated…fell in love. We had a real commitment. We were both in it for the long haul. We didn’t see eye to eye on everything but that’s okay. We weren’t perfect but who is? The important thing was that we loved each other. At times over the last few years that love and our marriage were tested. Every marriage is. Some days we didn’t like each other at all – but we knew that if we didn’t give up, we’d make it through. So, why am I now standing here alone? Past my prime, no longer as pretty as I once was. Who’s going to want me now? How did it come to this?

I have been praying for someone for some time but don’t know much in the way of details. All I know was that they have been on my heart a lot. They’ve recently been divorced. While thinking about them one day, I saw this scene in my mind.

They were standing there in the dark. The landscape was totally undefined – just dark. When they looked behind them, they could see their footprints leading up to where they stood. The path was visible where they had walked. The path lead up to their feet, but that’s where it stopped. Behind them were plans, purposes, intentions and all the things they were working toward.

They couldn’t see any path in front of them. They couldn’t see anything. It was like there was nothing there. There was no vision for the future. The only thing that could be perceived in front of them was a faint line of the horizon much like it would look at the very last light of sunset. The horizon appeared to be completely flat. No hills, no mountains, no trees, just a flat, empty horizon.

I began to think of how long they had been married. I couldn’t help but put myself in their shoes. Maybe you’ve been in their shoes too. Decades of hard work with the confidence that it would last. All the compromises about money. All the times when you gave up your way and in some cases, your right. All to make it work. To make it last. But it didn’t.

Being alone was thrust on them and now they stand there staring at an empty horizon. What will the future hold?

As I think about this now, Jeremiah 29:11 comes to mind.  I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope (God’s Word Translation).

The truth is that God is not done with them. He’s not done with me or you. If we are still drawing breath, there’s still hope. His message to us is clear. God loves us and He doesn’t want us to suffer this kind of torment. He calls it treacherous (Mal 2:14}. The suffering that comes from betrayal does not come from Him. It’s not His will and it’s not His fault.

He also says in Jeremiah that He loves us with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). He really does love you and wants to help you. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24 that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. He is that friend.

As I share this, I am confronted with a very stout truth. I’m not qualified to talk about this. Not really. While my parents divorced when I was a boy, I have not personally been divorced, and while the Lord helps me see certain things, I have never known the pain that comes from this kind of betrayal. I don’t have credibility in this area.

So I look to you my dear readers. Many of you have faced this and lived to tell.  There are those who will read this that have made it through. By the grace and mercy of God, you’ve gotten up off the floor day after day and moved forward.

YOU have the qualified voice. You know things I don’t know. You can give insight that I can’t. If you will, you can draw from your experience to help those who are suffering now.

I ask you for your help. What am I not seeing? How would you help this person? How would you advise me and others who want to help?

Please help us by sharing in the comments.  I look forward to your advice and guidance.

I love you guys.

Your buddy,


Are you at a disadvantage?

Not too long ago, I heard a man talking about relationships.  He pointed out that because he was his father’s son, he was always able to go into the garage and use his dad’s tools.  Even when he became an adult and moved out of the house, he was still able to go over to his parents’ house whenever he needed to, and borrow a tool.  His point was that there were advantages to being the son, or daughter, that were not available to everyone else.

I know what it means to be a son, but I couldn’t relate to that whole garage story.  I didn’t have the advantage of a garage full of tools, and a dad who would let me borrow them.  I began to wonder.  What have I missed?  

Courtesy of stocksnap.io

I know of another young man who started a siding company.  This guy’s dad is a popular minister.  When the young man started his company, his dad leveraged his own influence & time to help his son promote the fledgling business.  I remember seeing the dad’s facebook posts, proudly talking about his son’s new business.  I would also see pictures posted of the dad standing at his son’s booth at a trade show, helping him promote it.  I think that is so cool.  

I wonder if these young men know what they have.  Compared to those of us who don’t have that kind of relationship with our dads, they certainly seem to have  an advantage.  

There have been many times in my life that I wished I had my dad with me, even if it was just to push me harder to man up.  There were many times when I noticed his absence and felt disadvantaged.  

Even now, the temptation is there to feel disadvantaged.   I have to keep reminding myself that it’s simply not true. There is no disadvantage when you know God.  His salvation is so great that it completely erases all disadvantage.  I believe the only reason we may feel disadvantaged is because we are getting supernatural help from our spiritual enemy.

I will say this though – Without God, the disadvantage is real.  It doesn’t take a missing father either. You could have an abusive father who’s there all the time.

Like the young man I mentioned above, some young men don’t want to follow in their father’s foot steps, but instead have the benefit of his influence to start their own enterprise.  That’s great too.

Joel Osteen is a tremendous example of someone who stepped into his father’s shoes, stayed true to the vision for Lakewood church, and has grown his church and his influence far beyond his father.  He has, by building on the legacy of John Osteen, continued the growth of the ministry, and he reaches millions more that just those that attend Lakewood.

Consider Joseph in the Bible. (Gen 37 – 41).  He was the great grandson of Abraham.  His dad was called Israel which means Prince of God.  He was heir to a tremendous covenant with Almighty God.  He had prophetic dreams.  His dad gave him a fancy coat.  Everything was just going awesome for him.  Then his brothers conspired to kill him.  Thankfully, they didn’t follow through but instead, sold him into slavery to the Ishmaelites.  There were many times in Joseph’s life where he had opportunity to think that he was disadvantaged.  His father’s influence was gone and he seemed to be alone.  There were probably many times that as a slave, and as a prisoner, he took a beating.  Think about it though.  He was never beyond the reach or the sight of the Almighty.  God knew exactly where he was.  Even as a slave and a prisoner, God didn’t forget about him and kept promoting him.

One day, there were only two people in all the land that knew that God had given Joseph supernatural wisdom, and used Joseph to interpret dreams.  The butler and the baker.  Within three days, one of them was dead (the baker).  Things really looked bleak for Joseph because when the butler was restored to his position, he forgot all about Joseph.  The day came though, where, in a single day, IN A SINGLE DAY – it went from one person knowing about Joseph, to everybody in the land knowing about Joseph.  That’s what I call promotion!

God was faithful to bring Joseph into his destiny, but Joseph had to be faithful even when it looked like things were only getting worse.  The promotion was from God, not Joseph, but the promotion would not have come had Joseph not been faithful when no one was watching. Even after his promotion, it was the favor that God had given him with the pharaoh, and his faithfulness to do the job that kept him there.  

It might seem to you that you are disadvantaged.  You have nothing going for you and everything is hard.  It may be true.  Through being prideful and hardening your heart, you may have damaged, or weakened relationships with others and now it seems like you are alone.  It doesn’t have to stay this way.  

God hasn’t forgotten about you. He knows where you are.  If you will draw near to Him, repent for your stubbornness and commit to do what He directs you to do in His word, He will get into your business and help you like He did for Joseph.  The very next step COULD be the first step in the right direction.  

I have a note on my cork board in my home office.  It’s a quote from Rev. Keith Moore.  It says “I don’t have to know anybody.  I don’t have to have any money.  I have faith in God, and faith in God is enough”.

When you have God, you are not disadvantaged.  Quite the opposite.  When you’re His, you have an extreme advantage!  You can do ALL THINGS through Christ which strengthens you.