My life seems stalled! How do I fix it?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were stalled and just didn’t know what to do?  I have – a bunch of times.   So many times as you grow up and try to find your way, you run into these “walls” where you just don’t see what to do next.  You can’t see any options.  You’re stuck!  You may have never had to come down this road before and you don’t see the next step. What do you do?

dash lights & Tach


Not long after my parents divorced, my mom needed stuff done to her car.  She didn’t know what else to do, so she asked my grandpa, her dad, for help.  My grandpa took me, little Artie, out to the garage that day (I was 10) and I thought “Oh awesome, Grandpa’s going to let me help him”.  Grandpa helped me get the front end in the air and break all of the nuts & bolts loose, and then sat on a stool in the garage and step-by-step talked me through the process of performing a complete brake job on my mom’s car.  He only got up to check the torque on the nuts & bolts and to help me “slowly” get the car down.  That was the first of many times that grandpa helped me do things like that.

That marked me that day.  I began to watch him. He probably didn’t know how closely I was noticing the things that he said and the choices that he made.  He had an entire wall in his breeze-way that was made of brick and had a fireplace right in the middle of it.  He built the whole thing.  I asked him one day how he did it and he replied “I went to the library & got a book, then I went to the store & bought a diamond edged saw”.  I can’t even begin to estimate how much he helped me and imparted wisdom to me over the years.

The Bible says in Leviticus 19:32 (BBE) “Get up from your seats before the white-haired, and give honor to the old, and let the fear of your God be before you: I am the Lord”.  As I grew and matured I began to realize that the Elders that God had put in my life were and are a wealth of wisdom to me.  I can think right now of some very significant people in my own life that gave me excellent counsel in my difficult times.

  1. Grandparents – Never sell them short.  Your grandparents have seen things and have the wisdom to help you navigate some pretty sticky situations.  Besides that, they are probably your number 1 fan and love you. They are on your side.
  2. Teachers – I have not had many, but there were a few teachers that reached further & demonstrated that they cared more than the others.  I have on occasion gone to them with questions about how to get past road blocks in my life.
  3. Counselors – I have had the pleasure of knowing some great people in this area.  Nearly all of them were interested in helping young people.
  4. Elders in the Church – This is true even today.  I have received some of the best counsel and advise from older gentlemen that I have submitted myself to.  They have been down the road, and have probably seen what you’re facing before.
  5. Elders at work – Most of the time I have found that co-workers are not that close.  There are occasions though where an older co-worker will become like a mentor to you and help you steer your career.

In all of these relationships, the key to receiving wisdom and advise is to ask. You must be willing to receive the help.  Again, I can’t stress this enough, you must humble yourself and be teachable.  Remember, God hasn’t left you twisting in the wind.  He has provided help for you.  Honor the Elders in your life and listen.  They have lots to say.

Join the conversation.  How has the wisdom of the Elders in your life helped you?  Please post your comments.



The road of honor – Where to start.

New Year’s Eve 2009, my family and I were on our way home from my wife’s parents’ house.  We had spent the evening eating junk food & playing games but everyone was getting pretty tired so we decided to go home.  It was right about midnight (I remember because of the fireworks) when a small Mazda coming toward us spun out of control. It hit the big pickup truck in front of us, turning the truck in the road about 120 degrees & then tail whipped right into the front of our car.  It hit us so hard that it slapped the front of our car clear off into the ditch. The Mazda was wrecked in both the front and the rear.

We were all okay, escaping with just a little seat belt rash and some muscle stress from the accident, but our car was totaled.  The 19 year old young man driving the Mazda was okay too.  He kept apologizing and it became pretty clear that he was under the influence of alcohol.

A lot happened that night.  The Highway Patrol & the Fire Department showed up, made sure everyone was okay & took our information. Then I realized that the young man’s father had also arrived. He made sure his son was okay and was now talking to the state trooper. The father had a weary look on his face.  It seemed by his actions that he was very embarrassed by his son’s behavior that night.  When he was also informed that his son had refused towing service because “his dad had a guy” the father sighed and his head just dropped into his hand.  He was ashamed.  I remember thinking as I watched it “This is the exact opposite of honor”.  Accidents sometimes can’t be avoided, but that night there were some very bad choices made that led up to this one.

Proverbs 17:2 says “A servant who does wisely will have rule over a son causing shame, and will have his part in the heritage among brothers” (BBE).

It’s so important to understand that the first part of honoring your mother and father is to NOT cause shame.  I know there are plenty of times when I was a fool and embarrassed my parents.  I am personally responsible for many of the gray hairs on their heads.  It took me a long time to understand what it really means to honor them. I wish that someone would have helped me understand honor and why it’s important when I was a much younger man.  I will share more about honor in upcoming posts but the simplest way to define it for me is “to heavily value”. As we grow up we sometimes forget that we’re still sons & daughters and that what we do directly reflects on how we were raised.  God holds us strictly accountable to honor our Father and Mother (Ex. 20:12).  We do that with our life, by being quality people, and it doesn’t end when our parents are gone. We honor them for the rest of OUR lives.

I would love to hear your thoughts on honoring your parents. Please add your comments.