My Post Father’s Day Post

Each year as Father’s day comes around, I want to take some time to write a post about it because fatherhood is such a big deal to me.  If I’m honest though, it’s one of the hardest posts to write.  If you’re a regular reader, you know that my Dad and Mom separated when I was 10 and divorced when I was 11.  From that time to this, I’ve only spent time with my Dad once, and that was over Christmas break in the 1980’s.  The last time I heard his voice was the day my youngest daughter was born.  It will be 23 years ago this year.

While my Dad is still among the living, we don’t have any fellowship together.  I am not distant because it’s my choice.  I’m distant because it seems to be what they (he and his wife) want.

Truthfully, I really do want him to be happy, and if my presence or interaction with him and his family makes it hard for him, then I’m okay with keeping my distance.  My consoling thought is that when we both get to heaven, we will have a curse-less eternity to get things sorted out between us.  Until that day, I’m just going to love and honor him as best I can from this distance.

That being said, I try to always remember to send cards on Father’s day, his birthday and Christmas.  I don’t always remember but I try.  The reason is simple.  I want to make sure that I am doing all I can to honor him.  I might no be able to do much, but I will do all I can do.

If you read my posts, you will find that my writing is not about fixing your relationship with your Dad because I can’t really write about that with any credibility.  Instead, I focus on how to grow up and be a good, quality man, in spite of not having a Dad around.

While I speak about this issue honestly and don’t try to flower it up, I also NEVER throw my Dad under the bus so to speak.  I am honest but not derogatory.  I don’t use hateful speech when talking about him and I always try to emphasize that I love and honor him.

My experiences as a son have had a huge influence on my being a father myself.  I recognize the importance of being there and demonstrating my love for my children.  Hollywood often portrays the Dad as being foolish, childish or selfish, but a real Dad is none of those things.  Don’t get me wrong – Dad’s are usually great at horsing around with their kids, but real fatherhood is about training up your child.  It’s about learning things that are real enough and important enough to pass on to your children.  The goal of every Dad should be to make fully developed and mature sons and daughters out the the little children that God gave him.



But I Want It Now!

Jesus said in Matthew 6:33 (BBE) “But let your first care be for his kingdom and his righteousness; and all these other things will be given to you in addition.”  In this passage Jesus was talking specifically about physical needs, house, food & clothing but we see a bigger picture emerging.  He said in verse 31 “Then don’t be full of care…”  Then in verse 32 “Your Heavenly Father knows what you need”.  God cares about you, He has made provision to meet EVERY need that you have and the one thing he doesn’t want you doing is being FULL OF CARE (worried).  Trust that Your Heavenly Father knows what you have need of.

But God….I know what I want and I want it now!

If it’s something specific that you are wanting, maybe a new job or career path, ask yourself; are you ready for it?  Can you take on this new thing without it destroying you?   Trust God to work on the stuff you can’t control.  He knows exactly what makes you happy and He wants you to be happy. Ask God to help you.  Ask Him go grow you up – to bring you quickly to the place where you’re ready, and then join you to your blessed future.

Stop thinking about what you might be missing. When I first sensed the call to go to Bible School, I was hungry for it.  Every day that I had to wait to get there was frustrating.  Little did I know, God had a timing in place.  When it was finally time to move, EVERYTHING was in place.  It was quite easy to make the move.

The truth is that, even though you might be frustrated that things aren’t moving fast enough, the only thing you’re missing is the pain and torment of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.  Trust God that you are not missing anything good.  It’s all just being deferred until later. Ask Him to deal with you bluntly, and then commit yourself to hear….and to DO what you know to do. Focus on you.

God’s desire is for you to be transformed into the person He’s called you to be.  He’s able to do exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think according to the power that works in us, so I promise, His vision and dream for you is far bigger than the one you have for yourself.

Don’t be dead set on getting your way.  Don’t be married to YOUR plan.  Because God sees time from an eternal perspective, He can see what’s coming even when we can’t.  It’s important to understand that HIS plan for you is the best possible plan for you.  You may want something badly, but make the decision in your heart that you are willing to let your plan go.  If you really want God’s will in your life, you will need to get your own agenda out of the way.

Remember to keep God first.  There can only be one 1st place in your life.  Seek His kingdom first!  Then the other stuff will be added unto you.

Are you good at ignoring God?

If I really examine my heart, I would have to say that my greatest desire is to please God. Some might hear that and wonder whether I’m in my right mind or not. Many people don’t see pleasing God as something to be desired. It seems that a lot of people only want to get as close to God as they have to in order to get help and deliverance from some mess that they’ve gotten themselves into, but that’s it. Once they have received what they need, they are back to their old life. Back to doing it their way.

I can’t think that way anymore. Truthfully, there is NOTHING more important to me than hearing from God and knowing I’m in the middle of His will for me. I don’t want the edges of His will, I want to be right in the middle of it.

I was thinking a while back about when I was a boy. I would sit in church services and usually in each service, an altar call would be given. I would remember times of experiencing great heart conviction. My heart was being pulled to make a change. Through many church services I successfully resisted that conviction, but I felt it every time. What I didn’t realize at the time was that it was my Heavenly Father speaking to my heart through His Holy Spirit.  He was calling me to come closer. He was inviting me into a deeper relationship with Him. A choice I made once I realized that, even though I don’t completely understand it, He loves me and His ways are ALWAYS better than mine.

All these years later and I’m still a committed Christian. The thing I want to point out is this; that conviction that I resisted those many times, that sense that God was dealing with my heart, that is the same exact thing that I look for every day to hear from my Heavenly Father. That is the primary way He leads His people. While many people are looking to be led in spectacular ways, the main way God deals with us is through our conscience. It often shows up as that heartfelt conviction.

I would like to leave you with a thought this week. Every time we as believers over-ride our conscience, we are actually intentionally ignoring God. If you’re like me and desire to please Him – to know and do His will – the stupidest thing we can do is to practice and get good at ignoring Him.  Let’s make it a point this week to listen, recognize and obey even the slightest convictions of our heart.  Let’s practice and get good at obeying Him.